Need some guidance/starting point for change.
I’m a mum of two, girls, age 6 and 9. I am married, but not in a happy or functioning one. He doesn’t speak to me at all. Refuses to communicate. When we do ‘speak’ it’s an argument leading to further silence. This has been going on for many years. He sees the marriage as ended and I am guessing at some point he will leave the house.
Meanwhile I am the girls main parent. Cooking, cleaning, tutoring, taking them to clubs Monday - Friday, setting up play dates, taking them out for enrichment trips, being there for them etc. He leaves home at 8am and returns home to put the girls to bed. At the weekends he takes the girls to their ballet class on Saturday morning and and then for the rest of the weekend he is on the phone with his business partner or attending business meetings in other cities. When I ask him for more help/involvement he mainly ignores me by not responding or disagrees with me and says he is doing half the parenting.
I left my job of 10 years recently as I was unhappy in it and needed to collect myself and restart. Unfortunately, I still don’t know what I want to do and feel a bit stuck career wise. Equally I’m thinking how am I going to cope with all these parenting activities and work. How on earth did I do it before! That’s probably why I always felt drained.
So my scenario is: I feel that I have the lion’s share of parenting; I need to find a job as the savings I’m living on now will be running out; I want to be a great mum to my girls, and I don’t want be financially dependent on him - I don’t want to keep taking a begging bowl to convince him to provide money for household things like fixing the bathroom light or paying for a day trip for the girls (as I don’t have any money for his at the moment. It’s also feasible for him as he has a health disposable income) etc.
How do I juggle all this? Any strategies/ideas to help would be most welcome.