To wonder how couples have big families??

[TheBossBaby]

My LO has been teething and I have tried everything to help and nothing really works.
I only have 1 child and honestly can say I won't have another one.
As everyday is basically screaming and crying to the point I started crying.
She use to fall asleep around 8pm to 8am but now sleeps around 11pm wakes up thru the night for bottle..
It wasn't always like this just the teething is extremely bad.
I see bigger families and think how the hell they do it??
Am I doing something wrong??

I assume it's either amnesia or they have easier babies

I have 3, pregnant with #4. I think you realise that all ages have their challenges, but that over all its an amazing experience.

I too wonder at it. I asked my friend who has four whether or not she was bionic. She just laughed.

Apparently, she explained, you forget how bad it was when a child gets to three/four and all you can remember is how snuggly and lovely babies are, and it doesn't seem that much of a stretch.

But recently I watched one of those clutter programmes featuring a family with four under 4. The mum in that was so overwhelmed, she was nearly cracking up.

Abusive husband who raped me. Refused to wear condoms and binned my pills. Until I went on the sly and got the coil in and never told him.

I don't know! I was thinking this today.. we have two young children, both have viruses at the mo. I'm a sahm and DP works from home so we're both dealing with it.. and it's HARD. So so hard. But then I think what about single parents, single parents with more than two, or coupled families with 3 or 4 kids.. all ill at the same time. I can't imagine.

I don’t know - mine are 7, 9, 12, 18 & in many ways it’s harder now than when they were all little! Certainly more expensive.

Also, assuming you don't homeschool your kids, once they hit 3 they start preschool, at 4 they start school. Then they're out of the house for a fair chunk of the day. My 9 year old is out 8.30-3 each day, my 3 year old is at preschool 9-12 each day, and I have my 2 yo at home with me.

So (for me) it's not 3 kids with me 7days a week 24/7. They also play quite well together, which is really lovely to see.

I assume they are just happy to not sleep for several years. I have a very easy baby but still only plan on having one!

I don't think it's any harder to be honest. I have 3, aged 6, 4 & 2... and no.4 is due in the new year. We have a routine, everyone understands it, the older two already help a little bit (picking up toys, putting things away, setting the table, playing with the youngest one) although obviously some days it all goes better than others.I (mostly) enjoy very much having them around, and the seeing them entertain each other.

Also, I think once you have 3 or more you stop sweating the small stuff because you simply don't have time to micro-manage everyone, and you suddenly realise how little it really matters, and how much children are capable of for themselves if you don't do it all for them out of habit.

I think some of my friends who only have 1 child seem to work much harder than I do, because everything is focused on the 1 child.

Although when i had 2 under 2 at home it was very, very intense. There's only 15 months between my youngest two and it was very hard work at times. They are great pals though, and I do prefer smaller age gaps.

Agree with mesmeri. We don't sweat the small stuff and have a good routine.

The big life challenge me was having 1 child. Once I accepted the irreversible changes that being a parent of 1 baby brought, I just felt like 'the more the merrier.' But obviously everyone is different!

@6onTheHappyFarm that's really nice to hear - am expecting it to be 'challenging' with 2 under 2 :) (Am currently expecting No 4 in a few weeks and DD1 is 14 months, so will be same age gap between my youngest 2) - but hearing that they're 'great pals' with smaller age gaps is really lovely x

Eldest DS is 16 - challenges change OP - and you do forget (sleep depravation has got to be the biggest one to handle I think - 'zombie functioning!')

I think everyone just has a difference tolerance for these sorts of things and some can overlook the difficult times in favour of the easier times

We have 4 and when 3 were under 2.5yrs ( No multiples) I did think " why?!" But we are still surviving and for the most part...enjoying it x

My friend has just had number 6 (ages 12, 9, 6, 4, 20 months and 2 weeks!). She makes it look really easy. But I think it works because she’s someone who loves children, always has done and doesn’t find them boring. She’s from a large family herself so finds the noise normal. She has loads of family support. Her mum, 3 sisters and PIL all live within a few miles and regularly babysit or help with school pick ups etc. if she’s having a tough day with baby then she just asks one of them to take the others out for the day. Her husband has very well paid job so they can afford a cleaner and gardener. Older kids are out at school all day and the younger ones go to nursery part time. I do sometimes feel bad for her older two, they are much more independent than others their age and she admits herself
that they have to look after themselves to a certain extent as she always has a younger child in her arms.

That's how I feel at the moment like a walking zombie...
When DD is in pain and I can't do anything bar hugs and kisses it gets frustrating..

Before I had DD I had it in my head that I would like two kids so they could be best buds growing up, recently I changed my mind...

But reading everyone's replies gives me hope things will get better..

I watched a documentary about a family of 18.. Couldn't get my head around it...

Teething is hard. for you .

I have 8 DC and it’s honestly not because; I didn’t know any better, had nothing else to do or wanted to claim the benefits. We just decided each time we’d had a baby that we’d like another. The gaps got slightly larger ( at one point I had 5 pre-schoolers) and now at no.8 I don’t think there’ll be another. Yes I’m lucky DH earns enough for me to be a sahm but I’ve never had any help and we’ve made financial sacrifices for me to be here for all of them and give them all of my time. They weren’t easy babies at all, we’ve had the same tough times as anyone else - teething, sickness, lack of sleep etc but I’ve just got on with it because I accept that that is life with children. I don’t feel entitled to a particular ‘ lifestyle’. My attitude has always been - it is what it is, if everyone has their health, what’s the worst that can happen? I also don’t expect my DC to help bring up the younger ones. I am very conscious that it was our decision to have lots of DC so I never asked them to be a stand in parent and if they babysit I pay them. They are bright and articulate ( generally top set, prefects, house captains etc) and are starting to leave for Uni one by one ( we still have 4 teens in the house which is a challenge) but when we’re all here we can have a fantastic time. My eldest DC’s are now lovely well adjusted adults and my youngest DC’s benefit hugely academically from having several elder siblings.

Mum of three due number 4! It's hard at times but I think...

number one - I got pretty lucky and the kids are generally well behaved and listen most of the time

two is that DH works good hours so is home early, has weekends and half school holidays off, were a team and he's super hands on. I work only 3 mornings a week so have a good balance of time to myself while kids are at school to get stuff done and just relax

three - we have good family Support they take the kids out (perhaps
Not all at once but individually which is better so they don't miss out)

four - due 4th but my kids are now 9,7 and 4 and at school, they help round the house with odd jobs and are able to sort themselves out to some extent so dress themselves, brush own teeth etc so they 'need me' less.

Fifth - we are quite relaxed parents, even from number one - don't get me wrong my kids aren't wild and they know what's expected but I pick my battles and am stern but fair and I have a just get on with it attitude with myself.

Like I said it is hard at times, it can be noisy, getting out the house takes a little prep as you need 3 of everything (in fact I can't wait to have a buggy again because carrying 3 lunchboxes on a day out is hard!), the kids go to bed at 7/8ish (even the 9 year old) so we do get time to ourselves and the kids have always slept well (watch number 4 will be a nightmare!).

Mine are 13, 12, 9 and 8 and becoming progressively harder in different ways

Sickmumma you’re right - my two top tips would be pick your battles and don’t sweat the small stuff.

I am a single mum of 4, currently expecting 5. At present myself and 2 of the dc have colds/bugs. It is hard going and I am at the moment exhausted. But it doesn't last long and I find so long as I have a routine in place things run pretty smoothly for the most part. All ages have challenges but they also have their merits and they make me so proud, and often have me laughing. It can be hard work but I love having a big family