Can someone please calm me down?

[inffttg]

NC for obvious reasons.

I feel like the worst parent in the world.

About 2 hours ago, my 5 month old DD was sitting up right on her play mat and I supporting her back. She then suddenly lunges forward and smacks her head on to the play mat with a massive thud. She's burst into tears, solidly crying for a few minutes and then calms down, starts laughing etc.

She had a red mark which has now almost gone. She's happy and alert, had a full 7 oz bottle but I'm still in a state of panic. I feel so awful, I must've taken my eyes off of her for a second. It's all a blur.

We're staying wish my ILs and my MIL sees it all. Then she takes DD away to sit with her. I feel awful. I feel like I can't look after my own child. MIL keeps saying 'oh she'll have a bump or a bruise there!' 'Oh, that was such a big thud!'

Then FIL and SIL comes in and she tells them all.

I feel like I can't be trusted with DD. Are they going to think that I can't look after her? I was at the point where I felt confident, like I was a good mum and now look!

I'm such an anxious person generally and now feel like a bag of nerves.

Oh OP, please do not beat yourself up. My DD managed to roll off over the bed once and I was literally 30 cm away. It happens. Shes bumped her head, fallen over etc and I don’t feel like a bad mum. It happens. Your MIL should not of made you feel like that and she should not of taken the baby off you. Next time (and there will be a next time, honest!) dont let her take control. Poor baby probably wanted her Mummy anyway!

We've all done it OP! I used to leave my newborn baby on the sofa all the time because he was tiny and couldn't roll. I kept doing it because, well he couldn't roll. Until he could. No idea how old, but his first roll was off the sofa onto the floor. I was daft enough to leave him on the bed some weeks later and he rolled off again. He's fine.

He's big now. He stropped into a wall the other day and hit his head HARD. He's fine.

It's not your fault, don't worry about it.

Ah that's so sad. Please don't bet yourself up about it. I know exactly how you feel though, I felt the same when that stuff happened at that age. Honestly it gets so much easier to handle.
You are not a bad parent at all and please don't let this rock your confidence.
You are obviously a lovely, caring mum. Your baby is lucky to have you.
Your IL's sound like a pain. Ignore them. She's your baby and you are the best person to look after her.

For what it's worth my (now 1 year old) fell of the bed, twice! God did I feel awful. And I know that pit of the stomach feeling x

I understand your worry about concussion. As I mentioned for personal reasons I have a big fear about this. When I was at A&E I mentioned to the doctors about being scared in case she had internal bleeding and they told me the chance of that from falling off a couch was very rare. I was really worried and kept saying but she fell from couch height head first!! They were not concerned (they've obviously seen loads loads worse!) but to me falling off the couch was the worst thing in the world.

I was absolutely traumatised I honestly thought it was game over when I watched her fall straight onto her head so quickly. She didn't even cry for long, I cried longer. I vowed that she would never bump her head again but here we are a year later with her banging her head daily.

You're not a terrible mother at all. These things happen ALL of the time , especially at this age when she will learn to sit up by herself and then eventually crawl and all the rest of it. DS is 8 months now and if I had a pound for every time he has hurt himself whilst mastering something new I'd be a millionaire.

Don't worry, my 11m DS face planted the floor twice today just from trying to get from sitting on to his front. These things happen. You're not a bad Mother at all.

I know that last post sounds really dramatic but that's how I felt due to other issues plus I already had anxiety with her. Oh and I also didn't learn my lesson and a couple of months later she rolled off my bed. This time I was a bit calmer but still phoned my mum in tears.

It (and worse!) has happened to every parent at some time or another. This is because we too are human! A bump on a playmat is a great deal less worrying than some of the accidents that happened to jy children!

As you have said, baby was laughing afterwards and even the red mark is fading. Please do not worry about it.

Confession time: I once dislocated my DD's elbow when she was about 4 and I was swinging her around by her hands!!!

I think the most worrying aspect is your MIL's attitude. She should be bolstering your confidence and helping you to move on from this, not making a meal of it.

Gosh - I would be tempted to tell MIL to F off.

When are you going home? Tomorrow I hope!

Ok, firstly the bump. Way worse going to happen than a small bump on the play mat, and it’s completely normal. And they are always fine. There is no chance of confusion and internal bleeding. If you don’t believe me, go and sit on the floor and fall face forward. You will find you are not even hurt, and your baby was probably just shocked.

Now to your MIL. She sounds like a massive bitch. This is the good. Not only will worse happen to your baby in the day to day adventures of growing up, worse will DEFINITELY happen on your MIL’s watch too. So when it does, be sure to pay the miserable cow back by making a MASSIVE song and dance about it.

Concussion not confusion!

We all feel crappy when our kids hurt themselves. I know exactly how you feel DD is 14m and zooms about everywhere, she's been walking just over 2m and the bumps she has had in that time are innumerable. MIL is an arse IMO, it happens to all of us and LO is okay. You're a great mum, babies will bump themselves, much as we'd love to, we can't bubble wrap them.

What the hell OP? Your mil is being ridiculous! Babies bump their heads. It happens. All the time! You are not a bad mother at all.

I could almost understand her telling people if it happened on her watch and she felt guilty about it (which she shouldn’t, cos it’s noones fault) but making you feel bad about a minor accident is truly awful!

Please summon up the courage to say that you are extremely upset about this incident and her reaction is not helpful. She should be assuring you that the baby is fine and it’s a rite of passage, not making you feel bad!!!

I wouldn't worry yourself, accidents happen, just the other day I decked out of a train on to the platform...toppling the buggy over out of the train, WITH MY SON STILL IN IT . I was genuinely mortified, i agree with pps, be kind to yourself 😊😊 have you told your ils how you feel? X

Sorry, but your MIL sounds a prize cow.

There will be a lot more where that came from!

*It's not like you were stood up with her in your arms and dropped her."

I did this . He's a wriggler and at that moment developed a new dolphin like strength and flipping ability. Hope that makes you feel better OP.