Difficult 10 year old - need advice

[merrygoround51]

My eldest DD has always been a complex enough kid , but overall has generally been happy, close, loving etc.

Now that she is 10 that is all changing and I am quite aware that his is natural. However, I am wondering how far I should allow her push things with me.
At the moment she is constantly rude, doesnt want to do anything and if she is 'forced' to do anything (swimming lessons) she kicks up murder and literally all day will complain escalating to 'I hate you' etc

I am wondering at which point I push back? I read posts from parents on here about their kids cursing and screaming at them regularly (any teen can do it a couple of times) and I wonder is this how it starts.

Any advice from Mums who have been through this would be really appreciated.

I definitely push back with DS1 (11). I think that if they want you to treat them with respect, they should treat you with respect. It might not happen all the time, and there needs to be room for negotiation and time for apologies. How important are the swimming lessons? Could you agree that she can stop if she reaches a certain level?

It might also be worth a discussion in a calm moment in case there's something other than growing up going on.

Hi Blue She cant really swim well at the moment and I think if we give up now it will be impossible to get her back.

I told her if she does the next term (8 weeks or so) and really shows improvement and can swim well enough to get herself out of trouble if needs be then she can give up.

I think swimming is a chore for most parents so the sooner they get the hang of it, the better !

Totally agree that swimming is a life skill, and they need to stick at it until they're reasonably proficient. And they're supposed to be able to swim 25m by the end of KS2, aren't they?

Stop negotiating with the terrorist behaviour. Give her a chance, give her a warning and stay firm. I explain to her my reasons for making her do things and if she is still being hard headed, option given to find something alternative to fit the brief. Until she comes up with an alternative, status temians the same and just don’t engage ...

Hi Blue we are in Ireland and they dont learn swimming in most schools so its all down to parents.

I definitely think you need to put boundaries in place now otherwise it will just get worse when she is a teenager!

What consequences are there?