Toddler not eating without distraction!? Help

[keylovesAva]

Hi..
I have a 2 year old who is a pretty good eater.. not very fussy and usually eats everything you put in front of her. I have recently come off work as expecting our 2nd child in 2 weeks and noticed she won't eat sat at the table. She keeps asking for books or colouring. I found out that the Nanny has been distracting her to eat her food at meal times.
We have been having these massive tantrum session as she won't eat without anything. Snacking is fine but a sit down meal she is now having none of it.

Any ideas.. ? Is distraction the way forward until she is old enough to just sit in and eat? We eat with her and she is still not interested.
Bit lost and ideally with a newborn on the way I'd like a bit of calm

Thanks x

I'm probably not the best to answer this, as mine is all about distractions...

I would either try making it a game, e.g. roll a dice and that's how many bites you need to have before colouring in etc. Adding in two dice after a few days maybe.
Or have some sort of 'ultimate reward' for sitting nicely and eating, or if neither of those work, I'd probably allow distractions until they're a bit more understanding or consequences and rewards.

I've always had a 'they'll eat when they're hungry' kind of attitude towards meal times with my 2
No fussing, no distractions. Meals are served, if they eat they eat if they don't then they wait until the next meal. Fruit bowl is always full and available if they get hungry in between.
Personally I'd chill and let her regulate her food intake for herself without all the games.

@wishywashy6 Thanks for your response. What do you do at dinner time? Usually she has dinner and a bit of banana and then bed. Do you just let them snack on fruit until bed?

@keylovesAva
They're 8 and 5 now so they're definitely capable of knowing when they're hungry or not but yes in the past if they've not eaten their tea then they could have some fruit. They've gone to bed a handful of times with nothing and not woken up any worse for it the next day.
In all honesty, it's never been a massive deal. They generally eat anything and everything and I just always think the more fuss you make over it, the bigger a problem it becomes.
I've never made a deal over meal times, food is served (same as whatever I'm having) and it's up to them how much they eat.

Decide how you want her to behave at the table, then stick to it. I had one a bit like this. Serve the food up at the table, the rest of you get on with your meal, ignore all tantrums unless they're while she's sat at the table, in which case I'd just calmly move her away till she's calmed down.

I do think it's really important to eat with them though. Model the kind of behaviour you'd like to see. When new baby comes along expect a bit of regression, try your best to carry on what you've started, but accept that there'll be the odd day when you're all eating cheerio's on the couch and calling it dinner.

Good luck!

@FelixTitling thanks for your message I do want to try and stick to our meal structure. I eat with her... I may force dad to eat with us too.

I do expect regression when the baby arrives we are already seeing her acting up when she never use to. Maybe it's all related!? Who knows.

@VitamineSea thanks for your message. Will try and look at the reward idea. Even tried a distraction today.. no joy..would not eat !

Don't make her eat. If she won't sit at the table to eat, take the food away as she's clearly uninterested. Don't offer more than one snack before the next meal (if she was older I would say no snacks) and let her get hungry.

I'd also add that aswell as the child who refused to 'sit nicely' at the table (only just getting there now at 13), I had another one who sat perfectly at the table but ate microscopic amounts (and still doesn't eat much at 15). What worked with her was tiny portions, sometimes little bowls of things she could pick from, and making sure she felt hungry before mealtimes. A small snack or glass of milk could easily ruin her appetite for the next meal and if I didn't keep on top of it, she would end up going from snack to snack rather than eating proper meals.

Having other kids round for tea was good too, it took the pressure off.

@colditz thanks for this.. I will try no snack before dinner and see how we go!

Distraction is the bane of my life... my 10yo still insists on watching TV while he eats and it makes a ridiculous mess not to mention is annoying to listen to. I 100% wish I had never started it as an expectation. i only did it because he barely ate aged 2 and everyone was jumping on me to somehow force him. I'd ask the nanny not to do it any more. But IME it does mean you need to sit down and eat with them, chat, share food, or at least feed all kids together. If no ther DC and you're not hungry, get yourself a cup of tea or something. Eating should be a social thing and it is too much to expect for a little child to sit and eat all on their own.

@BertieBotts thanks I agree eating should be a social thing so going to try and make more effort to keep that in place. I've told the Nanny to try and stop doing it. Even got word she would give her a tablet to watch YouTube on!