Providing for a child

[MissSunny123]

Hi guys.

I'm looking for advice.

My partners ex has a child with him and also 2 others with her current partner.

My partner pays more than the entitled child maintenance amount.

Recently she has limited contact and has suddenly asked for us to also provide her with clothes for the child (even though this is included in child maintenance).

Due to my work background I believe that the welfare of the child is poor and that the child would be well suited to live with us instead as there are signs of neglect.

How would I go around talking to my partner about this ?

I know that he has to do the right thing in clothing the child but I believe this is the mums duty of care( who the child lives with) to buy out of the child maintenance.

I don't want to sound like a bit*h but I don't agree with him being guilt tripped into providing more when he does that anyway?

Help please :).

I think you perhaps need to ask this in the step parent section.

If you are protesting that your DP buys clothes for his own child, I think you also might want to question if this is the right relationship for you.

You are happy to pay the cost of a child living with you which will be way more than child maintenance btw but you are not happy to for your DP to buy his child clothes?

If you think the child is being neglected then you know you should be contacting SS.

I think you should try the child maintenance calculator online on the gov website and then make the changes based on the results there. If this no long works well with the mum then tough shit! I'd speak to partner and see what he says about having full responsibility for his child. If you are seriously concerned contact social services

It’s none of your business. Don’t stick your nose into someone else’s family. It’s between your partner and the child’s mother

Yeah- I'd move sections. Because she's asked for more money, you believe the child would be better with you now, is how it comes across. If your partner doesn't feel the child is being neglected, and has done nothing to increase custody, you have nothing. The decision is his, not yours. And he's not persuing it.

We've had this multiple times and sometimes you just have to suck it up and buy the clothes. The child will be the one who suffers. Its rubbish but if she limits contact already then seeking SS involvement (unless things are so dire that the child would be instantly removed) isn't going to help and she will likely stop contact all together. You and DP would then need to be prepared to take her to court which is costly, emotional, stressful etc. The amount of times I've found myself in Primark kitting out DSS is too many to count (despite DH paying over the odds for CM) but I wouldn't see him go without. If you want to be helpful then suggest a shopping trip next time the DC is with you.