Struggling Father.

[Mooieminnie21]

Hello all,
Our baby has just turned one, I've returned to work and he's started nursery 2 days a week and is with dad, MIL or me for the other 3 days. For the last four weeks our little one has been ill with various different things and had his 1yr jabs last week and now has conjunctivitis in both eyes so proper been through it. However Has anyone else experienced their partner (the dad) just having no patience with their child and it's like the child irritates them? I don't know how to help and it's causing major issues now. I don't understand it at all.

Poor baby doesn't sound like they are having a great time of it, which unfortunately impacts on mum and dad. My DH has more patience than me so no experience of it.

Have you brought this up with him?. What does he say about it ?. Is he frustrated as he doesn't know how to help?

I have brought it up with him and he has recognised he needs to have more patience but not sure how you'd actually go about gaining more?! It just worries me as I feel like our son just irritates him and it sounds like he does not enjoy being around him. Sounds terrible but it kind of influences the way I look at my other half. I feel like he resents our child.

Yeah I can see how it would put a strain on the relationship and change your view of your partner, and unfortunately this us something he has to work in and I'm not sure what you could actually do to help him. Had he always been impatient or is it just Now DC is poorly ? I'm assuming he is not impatient to the point he would get annoyed or lash out ?

Maybe suggest he speak to someone impartial/professional about managing this behaviour in a more positive way. It's good he recognises there is a problem but your baby son will be picking up on this and if he is spending full days with him this will have a negative effect on your DC, as he won't know why daddy is being horrible, so sooner rather than later on the help with managing it.

Good luck, it's hard work when they are poorly.

No he would never lash out, I do know that. It is hard work when they are ill and it can be quite taxing but I just feel like he's a small child and doesn't understand. I do not feel comforted I'll be at work and my partner will be looking after him. I think I'm going to find other childcare for this week. He gets to the point where he gets annoyed with him and then just ignores him....I am so frustrated by it. To be honest if he doesn't get help or this carries on I don't want to be with him. Perhaps he thought being a father would be different or that he could cope with it when actually he can't. Thanks for your comments.