Don’t really know where else I can have a rant, sorry in advance.
I’m sitting writing this is tears yet again, I haven’t had a break from my 14 month old since he was born. Unless you count half hour here and there when he goes to the shop with my partner.
I’m crying out for a break I haven’t slept properly since he was born he has tantrums constantly throughout the day he never seems happy. My partner works full time and it’s so hard on my own but when he does get back all we do is argue. We haven’t had a minute alone with each other. I have no family around and I don’t live in my home town and since leaving work I don’t see anyone as the work friends I had are all single and out enjoying life. I’m so sick of my partner telling me I’m depressed and need help when I know I’m not (I had really bad depression before when I went through a eptopic pregnancy) so I know the signs. I’m just so tired of doing everything myself, so tired of arguing, not sleeping, having to deal with temper tantrums all day long and not having any adult company. I feel like such a failure and don’t even know what the point is any more. I’ve asked time and time again for my partner to take him out on the weekends and let me shower in peace, paint my nails, clean the house without a one year hanging onto my leg but all I get from him is I need a break from work. Which he gets on Saturdays going to watch football which again he doesn’t think is a break as it’s on 3 hours out the house. I would chew off my arm for 3 hours out the house on my own.
This probably made no sense at all I just really needed to write some where how I’m feeling as talking to my partner is like screaming at a wall. I have nothing for myself anymore as we can’t afford it on one wage I resent the hell out of my partner. It’s not fair that because I’m not getting a break my son is suffering as I’m so unhappy and crying all the time. On the rare occasion he takes him to the shop after work I sit and breathe I’m so calm and happy that I have 5 mins to myself but it soon goes back to normal when they get home and the tantrums start and me having zero help begins again