Toddler Hell

[Grumblepants]

I need some advice as I'm going crazy and feel like like completely failing at being a parent.
My 2yo ds is high maintenance and always has been. Around other people he's lovely if a bit strong willed but generally very sweet and smiley.
Around me and his dad he is a flipping nightmare. Which obviously points to us being crap at the whole parenting malarkey.
I feel like I'm losing my mind with tantrums every 5 minutes. Changing a nappy, getting dressed, getting snacks, putting coat on, brushing teeth, bath time etc. Nothing is easy.
But what's really pushing me to the edge is the constant "mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy mummy" I counted earlier and he said it 51 times in 3 minutes. All in all today he's probably said "mummy " 1500 to 2000 times. I want to scream.
I've tried everything. I address him each time and ask what he wants, I talk calmly and acknowledge him, I tried ignoring him and I've cried in frustration.
Does any one have any advice. I don't like waking up in the morning anymore as the day is such a challenge I can't cope with him.

I don't have any advice as such, I just didn't want to leave this unanswered. I do have heaps of sympathy because my daughter was/is like this. She is 4 (nearly 5) now, and is still very much prone to tantrums and challenging behaviour, but it is a lot better (most days) than it was when she was a toddler.

Do you get much of a chance to get a break from him? You are not being crap by the way. He feels safe to express his discomfort/dissatisfaction when he is with you and your partner, so you get the brunt of it. My DD is the same. I also have an older DS who is the most placid, happy boy in the world - and I haven't done anything different to DD to cause her to act out in the way she does.

I know that feeling of not wanting to get up in the morning, when your morning starts with a huge tantrum and you know its the first of many - it is hell. My only advice is to try and get some kind of headspace for yourself, wherever and whenever you can find it and remind yourself this too shall pass. You are not alone!!

It is normal for children to ‘misbehave’ or ‘act out’ with people they feel safe with so it is perfectly normal that he is act up at home.

I found the book how to talk so little people listen really helpful.

Thank you for your replies. I have just got back from a trip shopping where he threw himself on the floor screaming, refusing to get in the pushchair and pulled everything off the shelves.
I know people say not to wish these years away, but I do wish he was old enough to understand and communicate with.
I will look up that book suggestion, thank you again both of you for taking the time to reply.

I can’t really tell you anything that will help, but you’re not alone. My DD is 2 and although I love her completely she is very, very challenging at times. I just try to breathe, smile and get through the day as calmly as possible. But I don’t always manage it and totally lose my shit sometimes. The day she can communicate more effectively will be a very good day indeed!

There’s a reason they call them the “terrible twos”. My youngest is rapidly heading towards them and I can already tell he’s going to be more of a handful than his big brother. I can relate to so much in your posts. Everything and anything can be a battle. He refused to go in his buggy on the school run the other day so I let him walk and massively regretted it when he repeatedly threw himself on the ground screeching on the way home. The next day I put him in the buggy and he kicked and screamed all the way to school until another toddler in the playground started screaming and crying even louder and stunned him into silence.

It won’t last forever. Enjoy the good bits. And find ways to distract him before he reaches Armageddon-style meltdowns. You’ve got this!