First time mum struggling to even think of another baby

[Lunatime18]

My DD is 6months now and she has always been a bad sleeper. She seems to get better and then goes back to waking up. I keep thinking it will pass then think maybe I should sleep train. Being a mum is more difficult then I expected. I hear other mums say how good sleepers their babies are and that they love sleeping when out. My DD cries all the time when we are out wanting to be picked up. At the start I had baby blues really badly but then it past and these days I seem to get mood swings wondering if it's due to the implant. I dont even know what I'm asking I guess I just feel bad when I get frustrated with my baby and think I had enough of her and her crying. Then I feel really bad when she looks at me with those puppy eyes or when she smiles at me. God my emotions are all over the place. I always thought of having 3 kids but now I dont even know if I can handle just one.

My DD was a bad sleeper, didn't like being put down etc....it will get better, some babies just take longer than others. It's way too early for you to be thinking about whether you want to have any more or not. I stuck at one (I had fertility issues so lucky to have DD at all) ... she turned out absolutely wonderful. I'm sure yours will too. 6 months is when they start to sit up, play peek a boo ... more of those smiles.

I know it's hard now, but, as is often said on Mumsnet 'this too shall pass'.
hope you get some good sleep tonight.

My first also cried all the time when we were out. She hated being in her buggy. She was a terrible napper so it felt like I never had a break. My friends’ babies were so much more chilled out. They napped well in their buggies if we met for coffee while I’d be pacing around with my baby who’d be screaming. Some babies are just harder work than others. Just keep remembering every time you pick her up, every time you change her nappy, and all the other things you do, you are showing her love and she is absorbing that and learning she is loved and cared for. Even if she cries a lot she’s learning you’re there for her. It can feel like you’re not accomplishing much because they keep crying and not sleeping well but you are. You’re being a good mum, you just have a fussy baby.
I wouldn’t worry about having more kids right now. Your body and emotions have enough to cope with just now and they won’t even let you be broody! Everyone’s different but I didn’t start to feel like I wanted another baby until my first was two and a half. We have a three and a half year gap between our two and it’s lovely, they get on really well. (Well except when they’re fighting...)
You’ll relax into being a mother but it takes time.. it’s such a shock to the system and even more so when you’ve not got a great sleeper. Don’t feel like you’re doing anything wrong just because your friends’ babies sleep better. Everyone is different.
My dh was a terrible sleeper, my poor MIL. Well he’s grown into an amazing man who sleeps like a baby. My MiL always reminds him of what a time he gave her. I’m sure now all that hardship is a distant memory to her although at the time it would’ve been very tough.

My first DC had terrible reflux and was such hard work, I thought I'd never have another. The sleep deprivation was like nothing I could imagine, although she actually slept ok after a few months. Don't underestimate the shock of the change to your lives. There's no need to even be thinking about another baby.

However, I found things gradually got easier. By about 9 months to a year when she was eating regular meals, it became easier to develop a routine and life revolved less around feeding. Then they continue to develop more independence. You forget the early months quite quickly once things settle down. We decided to try for another and DC2 was born when DC1 was 2.5. She didn't sleep through the night until she was 4 so it's a good job she didn't come first! I co-slept from early on for survival though and actually got a better quality of sleep than with DC1. I also knew she would be my last baby so I didn't stress so much about things like sleep routines. She even sometimes comes into my bed now aged 6.

Don't fret about possible future children just concentrate on getting by day-by-day. In all honesty, when I look back, the baby years were the least enjoyable part but it passed so very quickly, although it didn't seem like it at the time.

I had a reflux baby. I also had a difficult and dangerous birth and terrible PND, so we stopped at one. It was the right decision for us and I've never had any regrets. My son is 17 now and loves being an only child!

Oh god I remember feeling exactly like you OP, I would actually see pregnant women and feel sorry for them that they were going to experience how awful being a parent is . I also had a non-sleeper and non-napper. Things turned a corner at 11 months, and by 13 months my Dd was regularly sleeping through. I also went back to work at that point which also helped me enjoy being a parent more.

If you're worried about your mental health it would be worth chatting to your HV, GP or even a local PND support group for advice. It could be the implant affecting your mood but better to chat to someone face to face about it. I like PP's advice about how each thing you do for your baby is showing them love. I could have done with hearing that as a new Mum myself.

It will get better OP.

Oh and DD is 18 months and Dh and i are still not committed to the possibility of another child yet. 6 months is way too early to be putting that pressure on yourself.

Thank you everyone. I agree it's really early to think of another baby but it just popped in my head. I have so much respect for women who manage to cope with multiple babies lol. I'm gonna see my GP about getting this implant removed I actually do think it's making me moodier. I also think what got me down is that she suddenly started to wake up at nights for 2-3 hours and felt like the early days again. Is there something like a 6 month regression?

Is there something like a 6 month regression?

I don't know... IIRC my DD wasn't really sleeping through reliably at that age but never had before so no 'regression'. There really isn't a rule book. I guess there can be all sorts of things that can disrupt any pattern they have - changes in eating when they're weaned, teething etc. But it will get better.

Sounds like a good idea to see your GP - whether the implant is having an effect or whether the way you're feeling is mostly down to disrupted sleep, it is wise to talk it over with them.

My first baby was a shit sleeper - I can’t even put into words how bad things were. When he was 9 months old we sleep trained under the guidance of a Sleep Consultant because I just couldn’t cope anymore.

I’m on child number two now and although he can be a nightmare at night he at least naps in the day so I get some respite.