I have posted before about my youngest son but it's got to the point now where I find myself wondering what life would be like if he went to live with his dad .
He's only 6 but he's such hard work, one minute he'll be a bright and sunny little boy, opening his curtains, making his bed and telling me that he loves me and then "snap" he turns and completely changes, kicks things, throws things, shouts, slams doors, breaks stuff...often with no real trigger.
Take this morning for instance, he got up and asked for porridge with sugar on, I wouldn't normally allow the sugar but thought I'd 'treat' him, he sits down with a big smile ready to eat and then all of a sudden he slamed his spoon down, pushed the dish away from him, kicked the kitchen door open and threw himself on the couch and tried to break the tv remote...he couldn't tell me what had annoyed him, I really don't think he knew himself and then as quickly as it had started it finished and went back in the kitchen to eat his breakfast????
He's terrible at school, the teacher tells me he is forever shouting out in class, won't sit still, touches things that he isnt allowed to touch, when all the kids were sat watching a dvd he had to be taken out the classroom as he was creating so much fuss and he just finds it all hillarious, it's rare to see him without a smile or a grin on his face.
Last week I recieved a letter home about him from school saying his behaviour at dinner times is so unacceptable that he may have to start coming come for dinner (fighting). This would see me kissing goodbye to all hopes of finding work, goodbye to a career that I've only just started to train for, goodbye to our chances of moving to a decent area, goodbye to our chances of having a car and when I explain this what does he do? he laughs.
He makes life so difficult, he embarrasses me wherever we go, we went to a party on saturday where he shouted out during the 'food' part, burped loudly whilst someone was camcordering the party kid blowing the candles, snapped his knife and fork before stabbing his food container and making a mess, popped a balloon, knocked numerous drinks over (some on purpose) and I just couldnt wait to leave, he was the centre of everyones attention.
When I take him to visit family he embarrasses me, he's cheeky, won't do as he's told, back answers...I end up wanting to get away asap.
Tonight I took my eldest to karate and he couldnt sit and behave there either.
He's rude, constantly goes on about sex (which he picked up from his dads girlfriends son), makes innapropriate comments about people, I'm suprised I've not had the SS knocking on the door wanting to know where he gets his ideas from.
Nothing I do makes a difference, he doesnt care what punishments I give out, he doesn't care who tells him off...I have been told that EVERY assembly he is told off by the head for messing around, he's often the only one out of the entire school that carries on when the head tells him off and he's one of the youngest.
Thoughts of resentment are starting to enter my head, I feel he is ruining my chances of sucess, I feel he is giving me a bad name as a parent, my eldest son is embarrassed by him, He's 6 years old though, he's just a baby really and I feel so guilty but angry at the same time.