An idiots guide to toddler food refusal please!

[Xuli]

DS has just turned 2 and is, quite normally, refusing loads of food and trying to win crackers and bananas for every meal. We were very fortunate to miss this with elder DC so I'm after tips how to ride this out (even if it takes a year!) without showing him it's annoying...

We're continuing go dish up the same meals as everyone else, or that he used to eat, but trying to make sure there's a little more choice on the plate so he might try something

We're smiling through the whole thing and very carefully not showing him it's getting to us. Sometimes he gets down, and then when he says he's hungry we offer him the same dinner again (rarely works)

At the moment no fruit / yoghurt unless he's made at least a bit of an effort on his main - is this right?

The bit I'm less sure on is what we do if he's screaming hungry but refuses to touch a normal dinner. Do we let him have toast instead or something?

I know this is a very normal phase - he's really embracing the terrible two's at the moment - but could do with some guidance please!

This all sounds like pretty normal toddler behaviour. One thing you could try is sticking a little of something you know he will eat on the plate. That way he eats something but has the choice whether or not to fill up.

I would focus on what is eaten over 24 hour period not one meal. So if they have toast for tea fine but maybe can be less tired/willing to try more/fed at nursery for lunch. That worked for us, just took stress out of evening meal. It will pass

My two year is also going through this phase but I still allow fruit and yoghurt. Meal time is set and there are no rewards or penalties for eating or not eating, so if the main meal is refused I will still offer a banana or yoghurt or whatever it is we all have afterwards but the portion size remains the same so there is no filling up on tastier things.

One thing I will say, and this is something I always have to remind myself, is that often two year olds don’t need that much food (their growth rate massively slows down compared to the stage they have just been through) so remember not to confuse not being hungry with being fussy.

My two year is also going through this phase but I still allow fruit and yoghurt. Meal time is set and there are no rewards or penalties for eating or not eating, so if the main meal is refused I will still offer a banana or yoghurt

Same as us. Hope it's the right thing! It's been since he was nearly 2 and that was 9 months ago. We're just starting to see some improvement. He's eating pasta again finally (so he's getting a lot of homemade multi hidden vegetable sauce) and the other day he ate an entire piece of carrot. Was very exciting.

Every meal is a mystery as to how it go but just trying to ride it out too.

If he refuses main he gets his blueberries and yoghurt as normal. If he makes a good go of his main he's also allowed a second helping of yoghurt if he asks for it.

Thanks everyone, this is really helpful. We'll keep small portions of pudding in then!

My toddler lives off sausages, biscuits, toast, formula and/or cow's milk, fruit pouches, bananas and the occasional piece of cucumber or broccoli...

I'm just riding it out. Didn't happen with DC1 and just trying to be relaxed with DC2.

I very much feel your pain here

I don’t bribe punish or reward when it comes this but I find very gentle encouragement helps. Example- yesterday I said oh mummy loves this dinner please may you feed me some? Because he loves sharing his food for some reason he then decided to take a few mouthfuls in turn with me and then finished it on his own. I don’t make a fuss if he doesn’t eat his dinner even though I am upset about it. I try and make up for it at the next meal so if he ate potato but no veg for example I’ll ensure his next meal has veg I know he’ll
Eat so sometimes it means re gigging his meal plan but I focus on the whole day and week rather than worrying about the smaller meals.

Ensure they have a good multi vitamin and if you’re worried about veg or fruit : 5 a day Check out ‘my fussy eater’ on Facebook she shares many free recipes that
Focus on fussy toddlers! So hidden veg and has lovely veg smoothly ideas etc

This will pass x

Thanks for more tips!

He would actually live on fruit if he could, which is at least a positive point, and we can get peas, tomato and cucumber in there too. Weirdly our main issue is protein - he's allergic to egg and some fish and not keen on meat, so bar baked beans it's a bit of a nightmare (you can shove anything lentil or chickpea based where the sun doesn't shine!)

Ooh how about cheese sticks to snack on or nuts and dried fruit ? not ideal long term for teeth but will be a great source of protein and could brush after if at home.

Cheese and pineapple is a yummy snack or cheese and carrot. You could order some fun shape cutters off amazon and do veg and sandwiches in new shapes maybe that might mix it up a bit and cause some interest :) x

Would he eat e.g. homemade chicken nuggets for protein?

I think he might do chicken nuggets, other DC certainly would so they wouldn't wasted!

*Jennifer", he's also on a limited dairy diet Tbf I think half my concerns come from the fact that we have a lot of the quick and easy stuff most kids will eat (cheese, some fish fingers, eggs) out of his diet!

So is he allergic to dairy and eggs OP?

Allergic to eggs but growing out of it - he can eat it in food now. And allergic / intolerant of dairy so we're currently limiting it as much as possible