Son wakes 3-4 times a night :( help

[ilz07]

Hey, I would love some advice! My son is now 5 months old and for a while he was sleeping well, waking 1-2 times a night but for about a month or more now he wakes up much more! He has just recovered from bronchitis although he was like this before he was sick. He also is currently teething, one tooth has come out and waiting for the second. He's had a bedtime routine since about 2 months old which works fine! He has a bath and then pyjamas and bottle from 7-8 pm depends on his day nap. Once he's down he will now wake up around 11pm then 1am then 2/3am then if I'm lucky he will stay asleep until about 6.30 otherwise he may be up one more time. Each time he wakes up he takes his bottle and doesn't always drink it just uses it as comfort. He's a big boy (10 lbs baby) and is very clingy with me. He sleeps in his cot, if he's in my bed he wakes up more! I can't really leave him to cry because I have a 3 year old too and don't want him to wake her. What do I do? I am so tired all the time. I just really want him to sleep at night so I can rest. My partner is away at the moment so it's just me and them and I am so shattered, I feel awful as I am so snappy and my 3 year old is asking me mummy are you ok!  has anyone else has this and how did you over come this?? My daughter slept through the night pretty early on so I never had this with her. New territory for me. I just feel tired and miserable and it upsets me that my kids can pick up on this..

You say he is using the night feed bottles for comfort more than a feed... do you use a dummy?

I don't think 3 or 4 times a night bus abnormal at this age. My 21month old son wakes for a feed 3 times a night.

I really feel you from your post. I’ve been there and the guilt of being snappy was the worst bit for me.
I know it’s frustrating to hear but everything is a phase during babyhood, there will be an end! At about 6/7 months, my DCs woke up 2/3 times night. I began to give a feed at the first wake (12ish) but offered water after that until the morning. I made sure I didn’t interact with them at night, a cuddle and no eye contact.
What naps is he having? And is he in your room or his own/sisters?
Sorry I haven’t got the answer for you, good luck.

Sorry.....meant to add, have you tried a dummy?

Well if he is teething it might carry on for a bit longer. Have you trued calpol or bongela? Can you try and settle him without giving a feed, let him know you are there etc but dont feed him. Do you use a dummy? As putting that in might comfort him enough to not need a feed.

It is hard when they don't sleep, can you nap in the day, when your dd is at nursery. I am often up with my autistic 11 year old for two hours a night, you get used to less sleep, if I get more now i am more tired. Lol

Sorry but it sounds like you were very lucky with your daughter! He's pretty normal for that age. Doesn't make it any easier though. Is there anyone who can help out for a couple of hours so you can sleep?

I'd try and find a coping mechanism so your not so tired in the day. Maybe take a vitamin supplement? Are your iron levels ok? Just make sure you go bed earlier so you get enough sleep overall so manage your tiredness during the day. Is dh helping out in the night?
My very-almost 3 year old still wakes 3-4 times a night as well. I found the better I accept it and learn to live with it the easier it is to manage. 5months old is still very young. I hope he grows out of it for you

He doesn't use a dummy, I tried to give him a dummy but he's refuses it as soon as it touches his lips! He sleeps in his cot in my bedroom where as my toddler sleeps in her own room. In regards to the teething I currently give him calpol before bed and the powder and gel during the day. So far tonight he's woken up twice and has needed a cuddle more so then anything else

I just want him to grow out of it before it gets worse. Maybe I need to sleep train him? When I put him down he normally falls asleep in my hands then goes into his cot. During the day he has 2 naps now. One about 9am until 11 and then about 1-3 or 2-4 just depends on what we are doing

Can I say that a 21 month old (ie nearly 2) who feeds 3 times at night is not the norm? (I have two kids including a 21 month old- surely by then they are 3 meals plus snacks and are cutting down on milk?). So I don’t think that’s a fair comparison. But 3 times at 5 months is not abnormal. BUT if you think about he’s waking up because he’s used to falling asleep in your arms with milk. I would slowly try to break that association and that might help. A dummy would be the obvious solution but that’s been tried.

You shouldn’t sleep train before they’re one really. Honestly, at 5 months they’re having sleep regressions, teething, growth spurts, it’s totally normal! It sounds like he just wants reassurance from you, so sleep training him isn’t going to do anyone any favours. I know it’s hard (dd was hideous at this age) but they’re so tiny for such a short time I don’t see the harm in comforting them when they need you.

This too shall pass. Even though you feel like it won’t he IS going to sleep better soon. I would be going to bed early to catch up on sleep, and keep doing what you’re doing.

Maybe he's going through a sleep regression I don't know.. last night he woke up 7 times!!! Each time was for about 5-10 mins he would nearly touch the bottle and would fall back asleep after a cuddle. I think if I left him for a couple minutes he may just settle himself but that would wake my dd. I don't know I just hope he grows out of it soon because his clingyness is putting a strain on me and my daughters relationship as he just takes over 

I think the calpol for the teeth is not doing very much to be honest so I'll stop that. And he's well within himself, feeding well. It just makes me miserable that I just can't put my finger on what's going on here

Kosha of course, but really my point is that there are a lot of variables. My first slept through by 15 months despite being a terrible sleeper when younger.

I'm sure my 21 month old would transition to less waking but as it is, it suits us both, very limited time awake, and is by my own admission the easy option. I'm keen to not disturb my older child for the sake of making a point.

My partner is away at the moment so I wonder if maybe he can sense a change in the household..

Can you not let him cry for a little bit? How long does he cry before you pick him up?
I would try and get a small nap in the day for yourself if possible even if it is only a couple of times a week.
Have you got any family who could help out in the day so you can do that?

He's only 5 months...? 3 wakings is completely normal. There isn't anything "wrong" (probably). Sleep goes through all kinds of variations due to growth, development, changes in environment.

It's just about riding it out and resting where you can. And don't stress about how much sleep you are or aren't getting or look at the clock when he wakes, that honestly helps a lot.

Yeah I try to let him cry for like 5 mins if he's just moaning but not crying I just try and leave him but almost always that turns into melt down and I have to pick him up ASAP so he doesn't wake dd. My mum helps when she can but she has work and most days it's me and the kids. I know I should rest when they are but there's just always so much to do, clean up. Laundry, dinner, lunch etc

I try to take him for fresh air every day but that doesn't seem to help 

Same here. My 5 month old daughter was a great sleeper but is all over the place with her sleep nowadays! Started when her first two teeth cut through about 5 weeks ago. No advice... Just solidarity!