Elective section & husbands Christmas do

[Mumof1littlemonster]

Really pissed off right now! Sorry for the rant!

I’m having a elective section on 14th December & husbands Christmas work do is on 16th December. They can’t change the day for the Christmas do & he feels as though because visiting hours at the hospital will be over he should go for the Christmas do... am I being unreasonable is saying No he shouldn’t?

Let me also mention my mum will be staying at ours and taken time off work to look after my 3yr old. Dh will be staying at home overnight and be with me at the hospital throughout the day.

I may also be discharged on the 16th during the day & be home but he still feels he can go to the Christmas do because then my mum can look after me!

I told him I don’t think he should go as he’s on paternity & it’s our time to get into a family routine & get over the tiredness. Also he can come home from hospital and spend some time with our 3yr old!

Please tell me if I’m being unreasonable or is he?

I wouldn’t mind him going, but my DH doesn’t go out much in the evenings so it’s usually for something he really wants to do. He has something booked for around the time DC3 was due, which was fine with me.

I think I would be sad that my Dh would prioritise something like a Christmas do over the family, so close to the birth.

I would also be embarassed on his behalf. If one of my team turned up at a night out, on the day his wife came out of hospital it would colour my opinion of them.

I wouldn't ask my Dh not to go, because I wouldn't need to.

Does he have form for this sort of thing?

Is there someone at the office he's into... sounds like he really wants to go and it's suspicious

Some of these men need a wake up call.
The sacrifice of nine months of pregnancy.
Then a labour and birth or an operation to extract the 6-10lb lump we have carried that has gradually been stretching the abdominals and pelvic floor to the limit.
Hit to our health, jobs and physical appearance.
And they get so concerned over missing a bloody work night out.
I’m not saying your dh is awful or anything like that op.
I just think they can have a tendency to be selfish especially if you are the sort of woman who usually gets on with things. As pregnancy, labour and birth are every day events I think people forget how traumatic they are. Even if straight forward it’s still a major and stressful life event and painful and exhausting.
But put it this way to him if he was having major surgery, without even the nine months of pregnancy prior to this and a newborn waking and feeding every couple of hours afterwards, would he be happy about you prioritising your Christmas do?
I doubt it.

Thank you for all your replies x

So I told him if I’m back home by the 16th (which I’m sure I will be) he won’t be going!

If I’m still at the hospital then he can go in the evening from the hospital because he won’t be no good to me (he can’t stay the night at the hospital) and he’s no good at home as our 3yr old will already be asleep.

I really don’t think he’s going because of anybody. It’s more of a Make a point to his manager. He understood when I explained my reasons I don’t want him going.

I’d let him go.

I had my elective section on a Friday and the next day was the wedding of my husband’s good friend where he was an usher. I told him to still go to the wedding so I spent the next day in hospital without him but I had other visitors so I was fine.

When the baby arrives, if you are at home, he probably won’t want to go to the Christmas Do anyway because he’ll just want to stay home and stare at the baby as he falls in love with it.

Yes let him go. Poor lamb. It's gonna be so stressful for him when you have the baby and he's really gonna need to be out on a works piss up.