Who gets the bigger room?

[KeepSmiling83]

Hi,

I have 2 DDs (7 and 3.5) who are currently in separate rooms. My youngest has grown out of her toddler bed so we need to get her a full size single. She could also do with her room being redecorated.

DD1 has the larger room (quite a bit larger - she has a single bed, couch and small round table in there so plenty of space) and DD2 has a much smaller room (bit bigger than a box room - could probably fit a bed and wardrobe in there but not much more). I feel bad that there is such a discrepancy in room size and have been thinking about putting both girls in together in the big room and turning little room into a play room with the couch in, toy boxes etc.

Some friends are saying that would be fair and the play room would still give either child some space away from the other if they needed. Others are saying I'm mad and that they will drive each other crazy and they are better in their own rooms. They say it is normal for the eldest to have the biggest room and I shouldn't feel bad. We would eventually have to separate them again when the eldest needs her own space so would then need to decide who moves into the smaller room.

I am an only child so never had the issue of sharing rooms with siblings and I'm really struggling to decide what to do. If we do put them together then we would need to keep it for a few years to make it worthwhile buying new furniture etc.

Any wise words? The girls haven't always got on as DD2 tends to follow DD1 around which annoys her but as they are getting older they do seem to like each other a bit more. DD1 seems keen on sharing but she is very fickle and could change her mind next week!

Sorry this is so long!

When my dd2 came out the cot, both dds shared for a little while. they loved the idea of bunk beds, but it didn't last many years before they preferred their own rooms. In a couple of years time I'd give your older one the smaller room with a cabin bed - desk underneath and high sleeper. Younger children tend to need more floor space for toys and for playing than older ones do, so I don't go with 'older one having the big room' rule at all.

My friend had this with her 2. The rooms were next to each other so she moved the wall to make both rooms roughly the same size.

I'd go for bunk beds for the moment

I've just put mine of the same age in together because they were desperate for bunk beds.
My intention is to give 1 of them my room in 3-5 years once they don't want to share anymore and I have the small room which will fit a double bed & wardrobe but not too much else.
But before making extreme moves:

Does the size make a difference to dd2 or are you looking at it through adult eyes??
Could you get a midsleeper with built in storage underneath to free up floor space?

MY DDs aged 11 and 8 share a room with a triple bunk bed and both girls choose to sleep together in the same bed. DS6 has his own room with a double bed but likes to sleep in the same bed as his sisters whenever possible. They're often all found snuggling up together. It's lovely. Even if we did move to a 4 bed house so they could have a room each, I still think they would end up in the same room most nights.

OP try the girls in together. They might enjoy the closeness. I almost always shared with my DSis and it never bothered me.

When my DPs were expecting No.5 my DSis and I wanted a DB, and my DBs wanted a Dsis, because of bunk beds

If you decided to go for separate rooms could you put the wardrobe in the bigger room for the child who has the smaller room? Hope that makes sense?

If you decided to go for separate rooms could you put the wardrobe in the bigger room for the child who has the smaller room? Hope that makes sense?

If you go for putting them in together, could you put bunk beds in the small room and the bigger room would then be a playroom?

Biggest room goes to the eldest here. It is a bit unfair but it’s the fairest way to sort who has it I think 🤔

With only three bedrooms, 2D and a son, the girls had to share a room from an early age. There is a 7 year gap, so yes it did cause some friction - still does sometimes when eldest is home from Uni - but it didn't do them any harm. Learning to compromise and settle disputes are handy life skills to have. I think in the long run, they are closer because of it. One bedroom plus a playroom is a great idea.

I think it depends how much time and money you want to put into this because it may be lovely for them to share for a little while but in a few years your eldest will start wanting her own space. If you're happy and able to sort out the big room with bunk beds now then that could work well but it is time limited. When she's 11 and starting secondary school your oldest may feel very differently about sharing with her 6.5yr old sister. She will also increasingly need space for completing homework. How do your children feel? Are either loud or poor sleepers that may have an impact?

Thank you for all the replies.

I suppose I am looking at it through adult eyes. DD2 is only 3.5 so has never mentioned her room being smaller. She doesn't tend to play in there as there isn't much space for her toys so will either play downstairs with me or in her sister's room. DD1 sometimes does say she wants space away from DD2 so I am trying to keep that in mind.

I could possibly move both wardrobes into bigger room so that frees up some space in DD2's room - I just wasn't sure how DD1 would feel with me going in and out to get DD2's things but probably wouldn't be an issue until she was a teenager?

Both girls are similar sleepers. DD2 goes to sleep at 7.30pm and DD1 at 8.15pm during the week so would need to think how to do bedtime in the same room? They usually wake a similar time especially in the week when we have to be up for school/nursery. One may sleep in more so would need to learn to be more considerate if they woke up early.

I suppose if I move them into the same room it would need to be for at least 4 years (so until DD1 is in Y6) to make it worthwhile so I worrying in case I make the wrong decision and we are stuck with it.

I do agree that younger children need more floor space to play which is playing on my mind - I don't want DD1 to feel like she has been shoved out of her room for her little sister though.

So many things to think about!

I suppose if I move them into the same room it would need to be for at least 4 years (so until DD1 is in Y6) to make it worthwhile so I worrying in case I make the wrong decision and we are stuck with it.

I'm not sure about this...you are the boss and can rearrange things whenever you want if it doesn't work out or if the situation changes over time