Is it natural to always want ‘just one more’?

[BillywigStings]

I have two kids and am totally happy though I still have yearnings for another! If I keep popping them out, will there come a point where I feel content, or will I always be yearning for ‘just one more?’

I ask because I don’t want to get pregnant again if it’s just hormones or something making me want more - if I truly feel our family is incomplete, then that’s fine though. It’s just hard to tell the difference

We have 2, youngest is 5 and so often over the last few years we’ve felt the “what about just one more” but resisted. We are done and any desire for more is hugely outweighed by our plans for our family for the next chapter in our lives.
DH has a vasectomy in September and it has made me a bit more broody when I see tiny babies or pass baby clothes. We know it’s right for our family though.

I think it's very individual. I have friends who regularly yearn for one more, others that sit on the fence about it for a while, and I was firmly not going to do that again a few weeks before my youngest was born and haven't changed in nearly 7 years.

So, I think it's natural and quite common for a lot of people (and hormones may be involved) and some people have to make a practical choice which from those I know most end up content with once more firmly past the baby years though certainly not all and some people that yearning just stopped already at one point.

I have three fantastic kids (11, 8 and 6) and it's killing me that DH says no more. There is a real physical ache and it is always on my mind. Quite honestly, I wonder if I would feel broody again if I got my fourth. I'm guessing yes I would.

I felt like this after 1 & 2 but it's completely gone after no 3.
I can hold a baby now and love that cuddle but know I don't want to do everything else that comes after the lovely newborn stage.

I felt ok after 2 and was happy to leave it there but still had a bit of yearning for #3 but now after #3 who is now 3 years old and a complete nightmare handful, inn defintely done and have reached my limit. Eldest is 10 so I just feel I’ve been ‘at it’ a long time now. Maybe if #3 was less challenging I’d feel differently

DH really had to be pushed for no. 2, you see originally it was only to be one...and then I got broody when he was about a year and a half old. So then I gave birth to number 2, completely accepting it was our last and it was for the best and DH would never allow another...and then what does he say to me on the first night? “Oh you know I wouldn’t mind another.”

It really messed me up, I had been so certain he wouldn’t want another (after all the fuss for agreeing to 2) that I never considered the possibility. So now I find myself unexpectedly yearning for number three and DH is ok with it!

I've got 4 and would happily carry on for ever if they weren't so expensive lol

No, I don’t think it’s something everyone feels. I always knew I’d be done with two and though occasionally I feel a bit emotional when I see a tiny baby, I have never once had the slightest urge to have a third.

If my uterus was in charge, I'd probably have popped out a baby every 2 years from the age of 20 until menopause. It's like a deep-rooted biological urge. My body just isn't content unless it's pregnant or breastfeeding.

As it is, I only have 2.

I was broody for a second even though I was the one who originally said "one only" and felt completely finished when my second son was born. BUT I got unexpectedly pregnant five years later and was absolutely distraught, DH was the one saying "two kids, three kids, not a problem". Then my mum died when I was pregnant and I ended up with the daughter I never thought I would have so a very happy ending but DH did have the snip when she was two weeks old 😂

Why do some women have such a strong biological urge to have more children, and others don't?

I am not in the least bit maternal, and have never felt broody in my life. I have just the one BTW.

I have one dd and having a second any time soon is my idea of a total nightmare! I couldn’t go back to newborn days after getting through it all. I wonder what causes that difference between women? I find it hard to understand people wanting 3/4/5 children, but that’s juat because I’m so not broody!

Nope. The changing table has gone. There is more space in our bin everyweek. We can have days out without massive amounts of equipment. Plus I dont want to go through all that again.

I was a yearner. I yearned for number 3, dh gave in as he only wanted two. Then I yearned for number 4. Dh out his foot down and it was never going to happen, but it was only when ds3 was about 7 or 8 that the broodiness left me.

I’d have definitely had 4, probably 5, left to my own devices. Now I’m hugely thankful we only have three.

We'd always planned to have two. After the second I wanted another, DH took a bit of persuading but eventually agreed. After the third I would definitely have had a fourth if DH had said yes, but this time he was adamant. Now they're a bit older (age 9 to 12) I'm so glad we didn't have a fourth! Three is more than enough!

So I think maybe there is some kind of natural broodiness which would have made me just carry on having babies!

I had two and for various reasons I didn’t think I’d have another but I always wanted a third. I did have a third in the end and do have the odd pang and I cried when dh had a vasectomy despite being totally onboard with it and not wanting another. Every so often I get a little what if moment but then realise I have no desire to go back to baby stage again and enjoying the little bits of freedom that come from the dc growing up. I’m even not that fussed about newborns don’t get that desire to snuggle them and sniff their heads. It’s nice to see them but I don’t get that gooey feeling anymore.

I def didn’t feel done after 2, but 3 does feel right. Most of my friends have 3- but sure if that made a subconscious effect on my feelings.

I have 2. Granted the second just turned one, so maybe I’ll change my mind, but I have zero desire or plans for a third. We always said 2. We have 2. I’m done - I can’t go through those newborn days again.

I couldn’t quite bring myself to part with all the baby stuff DD2 had grown out of, now pregnant with number three and I know this is me done... I’m actually looking forward to decluttering when I’m done with baby stuff this time!

Wanted one, was lucky enough to have DS and neither of us want any more!

@SSrainbow, this was me at the start of this year. I had no.3 in April and felt 'done' all through the pregnancy (I love being pregnant so wasn't discomfort related). However as soon as she was born I knew that couldn't be it.

Hoping it was just hormones, I assumed the urge would pass but baby is turning 7 months and the urge just gets stronger! If I have a fourth it'd would be in at least 2 years, but as my hubby says, where would it then stop? Really hoping to actually feel done at some point

I’m going through this at the moment. Had 4 quite close together then xh had the snip all fine not broody at all I was done then divorce and life happened etc 11 years later new partner, surprise baby! I remember saying moments after he was born ‘I’m not doing this again!’ DP has children from a previous relationship so we were done. DS is now 21 mths old and just had a pregnancy scare this weekend, was surprised at how ok I felt about the idea of being pregnant again turns out it was a false alarm and I’m feeling unexpectedly shit and upset about it. I think it’s because my baby is almost no longer a baby and I have 5 boys, no girls can’t help but think last one might be a girl. DP definitely doesn’t want anymore so he’s going to get the snip ASAP which I’m fine with, just can’t help wanting my non existent little girl. I’ll get over the broodiness soon (I hope!)