Any recommendations for books about parenting toddlers?

[thenorthernluce]

My daughter (only so far!) is 15 months. We had a tough start, and I barely survived the first six months due to an awful combination of colic, reflux and near constant screaming, but I found life got much better as she got older and I put her onto a routine.

I now feel like I could do with a bit of guidance on parenting a toddler. She’s starting to become very feisty and have tantrums if she doesn’t get her way. I know this is a normal part of development, but I would like to perhaps be guided in my response and behaviour in these situations.

I’ve akso fallen into the habit of using food as a pacifier, so that’s something I’d like to stop before too long.

Can anyone recommend a toddler book for me? One that’ll help me understand my child and be a good parent? I want to raise a nice child, not a spoilt one, so I’m eager to start with a bit of a nudge in the right direction!

I was about to post something similar. My son will be 2 next week. Hope you get some good suggestions, so following

I used the Penelope Leach book. I found it sensible and easy to understand. It looks at child development.

For what it’s worth, I left mine to tantrum. No talk. No reasoning (they cannot and won’t). Stand your ground because you are the parent. One of mine only had tantrums after no 2 was born. It was attention seeking. I went back to them when the tantrum turned into sobs and there was some comforting to be done. I never “bought” and end to a tantrum or rewarded a tantrum. They tantrum to get what they want and it repeats if you give them a treat. So walk away if they won’t stop after a reasonable request to stop. Don’t give a treat. I made sure mine knew I was not pleased with them.

Also try not to put them into situations you know might trigger a tantrum. What starts this behaviour? Try and avoid the situations.

I hated the tantrums they did have. Absolutely hated them. Ignoring them, after the initial request to be quiet, meant I didn’t get involved. Luckily they moved on in their child development. There’s nothing worse then seeng a 9 year old having a tantrum!

I really like the book What Every Parent Needs to Know. It explains all the science behind how toddlers develop and subsequently why tantrums happen, the two different types of tantrums and how to manage them.

I liked the Mumsnet Guide to Toddlers! For each topic there was a handy summary of all the differing parenting strategies to address the issue, so you can try different things and cherry pick what ends up working for you. I liked recognising MNers names I know. It's more descriptive than prescriptive which I found very comforting.

I also love the Margot Sunderland book recommended above. Also try ‘The Happiest Toddler on the Block’ by Harvey Karp.

Toddler taming. Love this book. Also a follow on Beyond toddlerdom.

Has anyone read 'Calm Parents, Happy Kids' by Laura Markham?

I'm about half way through and can relate to a lot of it. I am struggling, however, to put some of the suggestions into action.

The one example that springs to mind is actually dealing with a tantrum when not at home. At home, it's pretty straightforward to follow the advise as you have more time, space, patience, etc. But what about at the supermarket? Or at an appointment? How can you comfort your child, as suggested, when you can't give them your full attention for connection and time to ride it out?

I agree with her views on punishment, and also agree that, in my limited experience, that punishment can breed bad behaviour.

It's an interesting read as it also explains how toddlers brains grow and develop and how your response to their behaviour provides to them coping mechanisms for the future.

advice not advise! It bugs me when they're mixed up, and it bugs me more when I'm the one who does it!

playful parenting is probably the best book I've read. It's all about how kids play, why they play (to learn about the world, to process their emotions/things that have happened to them, how to resolve conflict through play rather than punishment, etc. It's completely changed the way I parent.

@TattooUndo

That book is mentioned in the book I'm reading just now. I'll add it to my reading list

I didn’t take my toddlers to the supermarket. I shopped and DH looked after them! Or the nursery! I avoided potential tantrum situations.

Unfortunately, I don't have anyone who can look after my son to enable me to run any errands solo. Single parent with no family nearby. Once he starts nursery then I can do that, but we have another 14 months to get through first.