Feeling a bit helpless, want to help my 7 year old...

[Onemorefortheroad]

My daughter has just turned 7 and is in Primary 3 at school.

She has always enjoyed school/nursery and has had really amazing, supportive teachers. This year she has a slightly more 'strict' teacher but it's been fine, she has still been more or less happy to go to school and is getting used to a different teaching personality.

The first day back from October holidays and she came home to say that she was left sitting alone for the whole of playtime and half of lunchtime. When she had tried to speak to the girls she is usually friendly with she was told that she wasn't allowed to play by one of the girls, let's call her Morag. When she asked some of the other girls that she is usually quite close to if she could play, they all said 'we will have to ask Morag if you are allowed to play' and the answer was no. I suggested that she could have went to play with some of the others in the class but everyone had a reason for not wanting her to join in - it's a two player game, you would make 3, telling her she isn't fast enough etc etc.

I have been trying to build her confidence and telling her that she should find other people to play with as she shouldn't be begging to be 'allowed' to join in.

I know I'm really sensitive about things like this but it's been worrying for some time now with this week being the worst. She just keeps saying people just ignore her all the time and I seen it for myself at the school disco last night :-( Morag arrived and everyone ran off to her and could see my daughter trying to join in and chat but was being blanked.

Finding it hard to understand as she is usually sociable and chats to others at her activities and if we go to the park etc etc.

This morning there were tears before school and lots of clinging on and she just isn't herself.

If you are still reading this essay then thank you! Just looking for people that have been in same situation, and any advice?! Will this get better if I just leave it? Should I speak to the school? Just want to make sure she is happy and is okay.

I would speak to her teacher from the point of view of you have noticed she is unhappy, feeling left out - has the teacher noticed anything? A lot of schools have support in place at break times for kids who are feeling left out.

Morag has discovered the joys of being a Queen Bee. Speak to the teacher and really push for them to take action against this bullying.

I suggested to DD that I could go and speak to teacher but she said 'can we see how tomorrow goes first?'

Parents night is in a couple of weeks but think I maybe should go in before that. Don't want to come across as a pain but want this nipped in the bud now.

It's cut and dry bullying. Speak to her teacher now and expect something to be done about it. In the mean time set up lots of time for your DD to play with other friends. Preferably ones who don't attend her school.

You need to talk to the teacher now, so that you both feedback any improvement at Parents Eve.
The teacher can put a circle of friends in place for the playground.
Can you organise a play date with the nicest of the school friends? And as a pp says, try to build up out of school friendships - Brownies?

My dd is 7 and in year 3. She said this only once to me and it broke my heart! Turns out it was when her best friend was on holiday and she had relied on her so much and struggled to interact with others who had established their own groups.

I encouraged her to seek out different friends as do not want her relying on just one best friend.
I was fully prepared to speak to teacher as even though there was no nastiness etc I wanted her to be aware of it.

All was fine within a few days and even though best friend is back my dd is playing with other girls too.
One idea would be to invite someone new for a play date which is what we did.

Good luck op, it's horrible to see them so upset

DD had a similar thing in Yr2. I left it for a couple of weeks thinking it would get better by itself but it didn't & DD got increasingly miserable. When I finally went to speak to the teacher, she was really supportive telling me that she had noticed some issues but not enough to take action, that another parent had mentioned similar behaviour the previous term & suggested some strategies. Within days, DD was back to get normal self.

Speak to the school. Also have a little party for a small group of the girls and that way they will all have something to talk about.

Sorry for delay in responding. Thanks for the advice, it's good to know that I'm not over reacting! Spoke to teacher and have had a better week this week so will see how it goes from now on...