Baby waking up 4:00-4.30AM!!

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My DS (10 months) constantly wakes up very early in the morning. It used to be between 5-6AM but last couple weeks it is closer to 4-4.30AM.

We put him to bed 7PM, tried couple times around 8PM but didnt make any difference.

He seems to be tired very quickly and usually has a nap 7:30-8:00AM.

He is not a great sleeper in general as there are some nights he sleeps well and wakes up very early in the morning but there are also many nights where he wakes up almost every hour and then again very early in the morning. He screams his head off as soon as his eyes are wide open until his picked up. We tried to let him cry to see if he would calm down himself but never worked.

There is nothing obvious that would wake him up or disturbed his sleep. He gets his bottle around 2AM, we tried to drop this feed few times but it didnt go down very well.

I am wondering whether we are missing a trick here or if it is one of those things parents have to survive?

10 month old DS started doing this the second the clocks went back 😩 no advice, but I can offer some solidarity!

That must be hard, you have my sympathy as my first was an early riser. Have you tried the No Cry Sleep Solution? It helped us a fair bit and it has a section on early waking.

Can I ask what he eats in a normal day and how much formula he has too?

What are his naps like?

My baby was a 4am-5.30am riser at around 10months- at the time I assumed because it was so bright outside now I’m thinking maybe an age thing. Anyway she grew out of it by 12months.
In the interim we had the chair thing to strap her into in the lounge to let her watch baby tv whilst either me or my DH half slept on the couch next to her. I also never gave her breakfast before 7- so she didn’t think 6am breakfast was a routine.

I would try and hold off the morning nap, pushing it back until later. I know he’s probably so tired, but he is likely catching up on his lost nighttime sleep from the early waking.

I would also be inclined to leave him in his cot for as long as possible if he wakes at that time, treating it like a night wake. Not leaving him alone necessarily, but patting his chest or soothing him how you usually would. (for me, anything before 6.30 am is treated as a night wake). I would not bring him out of his room until ‘day’ has started.

How does he get to sleep at the start of the night / naps / when he wakes?

I would treat 4am as nighttime also. At 4am don't start the day, but just try and resettle, give more milk, or just leave them in cot with boring toys ie small comforter with you in room with them. All super boring. hopefully they start to learn its bedtime still. It still means you dont get extra sleep, but after a week of so their habit should start to change.

Nighttime would be any time before 6.30-7am here

Many thanks for all your responses.

We have played with his nap time, moving it to 9.30-10:00 no nap etc. The only noticed difference was that in the evening he would like to go to sleep either before or after 7PM his usual time.

He gets about three bottles of formula: 7PM before going to sleep, 2AM and 6.30-7:AM rest is solid food and snacks.

Toys or leaving in cot doesnt work at all. He screams his head off as soon as his eyes are wide open and doesnt stop until his picked up. Few times we left him to cry hoping he will learn or we were just to knackered to go and pick him up
He never stopped crying until picked up. He always falls asleep in our arms never by himself as otherwise if put to cot screaming starts again.

His cot is still in our bedroom because of all these issues which I guess doesnt help but this is kind of chicken and egg situation.

Would he go back to sleep if you have him a bottle and put him in bed with you?

Yes if we put him to bed with us he sleeps 'like a baby' and for much longer even without a bottle but with one he falls asleep quicker but it is really last resort for us. We try not to teach him to sleep with us as I think this is one way street to problems later on.

sleeptimebaby.co.uk/2017/01/31/tackle-early-rising-children/?fbclid=IwAR2QOvT1ssl5Sserx_eXxE46TF09F4Bomqz3jf_Kl61dWtWkmbwfqMyAY5g

This link has some good advice

We try not to teach him to sleep with us as I think this is one way street to problems later on.

I’m a big believer in doing whatever you can to get sone sleep. For us, both times this turned out to be sticking them in bed with us, even if it was for just part of the night.

I can happily report that they both went into their own rooms at 14 months. Although DS had some wakings from a medical condition, they have both been great sleepers.

If he wakes at 4.30 tomorrow and he was mine, I’d be giving him a bottle, sticking him in bed with us and tolling over for a couple of hours more sleep

I had an early riser too and it was almost always over tiredness from the day before. Is he waking up at a really consistent time, like 5:31 for example? A couple of things worked for us - first was 'rouse to sleep'. Basically that time of night is the coldest, so sometimes that can wake them up. Id tiptoe in five minutes before he'd wake and gently lay a blanket on him - this was usually enough to wake him slightly so he'd go straight into a fresh sleep cycle. That worked for a while.

Alternatively I'd try and do an early bedtime by 15-30 mins and then shhhh pat him on the floor through the bars of his cot when he woke early the next day. It was about a week of early starts for me but we got through it. I would try super hard (although sometimes failed) to not get him up before 6. If I gave in, I left the room for a full minute, and then did a dramatic sing song wake up so he could clearly see the difference between night and day.

The issue here is that he needs to learn to get to sleep, and fall back to sleep, independently. Your options are controlled crying (which doesn’t sound like something that would feel right for you) or a gradual retreat type thing. There is a pretty famous mumsnet thread called ‘what worked for us’ - you can google it. It was a very gentle way of teaching independent sleep. It took much longer than CC but less crying etc.

Yes if we put him to bed with us he sleeps 'like a baby' and for much longer even without a bottle but with one he falls asleep quicker but it is really last resort for us. We try not to teach him to sleep with us as I think this is one way street to problems later on

I would do whatever it takes to get sleep now. You’ve got sleep problems now and if you’ve got something that makes him sleep fantastically then use it!
If you end up (for whatever reason) with sleep problems in the future then change it then.

I think if you can teach them that sleep is lovely and relaxing and not stressful and something to have a battle over they are more likely to associate sleep as a good thing and lead to less problems in the future.

They change so much though and it’s mostly down to luck so just do whatever you need to do for you to all get some sleep now and worry about his future sleep if it becomes a problem, which it may not.

Just put him in bed with you so you can all get lots more sleep.

I don’t really understand why you wouldn’t? His sleep is shit already so it’s not like it can get much worse. Anything before 6am is night-time.

Don’t make life difficult for yourself.

PS - although I’ve banged on about independent sleep (that’s always been a big thing for us), if bedsharing works for you, that is great too. Just do whatever you need to get by.