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Parenting

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Original poster

Dread being at home

24 replies

xxxParisexxx · 30/10/2018 23:06

Hi all, wonder if anyone can help me.
I have a little girl who is 3 end of Jan. I'm 31 weeks pregnant with number 2.
My little girl is constantly wanting me to play with her, sit on the floor and do make believe/trains/teddies etc etc literally for hours at a time.
If I want a rest/break she badgers me, come on mummy etc and whines until I play again. I'm getting to the point where id rather be out all day every day as at least I get a break! She hardly ever plays by herself
I'm so very tired with SPD and back pain and feel terrible, I do play with her but would like a break occasionally especially when the new baby comes I defiantly can't play all the time.
Any ideas guys please? Xx

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

KoshaMangsho · 30/10/2018 23:09

Erm. Just say no? And stick to it. Give her something to do. And say no, Mummy will sit here for 10 mins. Make a cup of tea and sit there for 10 mins. If she cries for 10 mins it’s not the end of the world. Do it 3 times a day. Soon she’ll learn that when you sit down she needs to find something to do.
Children need to get bored. They need to use their imagination to be creative. You have roughly two months to instill this in her. I point blank refuse to play with my children sometimes (they both get lots of 1:1 and attention otherwise) and they have now learned to get on with it, even the toddler (although he still whines sometimes).

Original poster

xxxParisexxx · 30/10/2018 23:39

I normally do say no and ignore the whining but it's getting worse and worse and today was the worst it's been and she was getting angry and come and bit my arm as I was having a drink and not playing. She has never ever bittenbefore. I shouted at her, we never smack and rarely raise voice, and I think it shocked her enough.
I want to nip it in the bud now but needed ideas x

OP posts:

KoshaMangsho · 31/10/2018 02:21

Ok so have a selection of things that come out when you want time alone. So a sticker book, a new toy, colouring books etc.

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BlueChampagne · 31/10/2018 13:42

That would drive me spare!

Send her to fetch some books and sit together reading?
Draw a special picture on your own to suprise Mummy?
Have you got some simple games you could sit down and play together? Orchard Games are good for this age group.
And (whispers) there's always a bit of screen time ...

Singlenotsingle · 31/10/2018 13:45

She's obviously ready for nursery. Start of a couple of sessions a week. She'll love it and so will you!

Original poster

xxxParisexxx · 31/10/2018 14:34

She goes to playschool 2 mornings a week. That's all we can afford before the 3 year funding starts in April after Easter.
I have asked people to get some orchard games for Xmas. She likes her tablet but I don't like to rely on it that much. We have had her grandad round this morn and now she is playing with some new toys he brought round for her but I know it won't last.
We will go out again, prob to see her granny as indoors till daddy comes home from work just drives me insane and it shouldn't x

OP posts:

selly24 · 01/11/2018 14:46

I would fold a piece of paper into sections and devide up the day. Showing her visually that there is a pattern and you share your time. Include play time and mummy time. Half hr slots with outings included too. Use a timer for your 30 min slots. Ring fence and be single minded about it! Definitely invest in a box of toys, stickers, quiet activities she can do alone which only comes out at mummy time!

Original poster

xxxParisexxx · 01/11/2018 20:32

Dividing up the day is a good idea thank you x

OP posts:

FusionChefGeoff · 01/11/2018 20:53

Go out! I did double playgroups some days!

HalfStar · 02/11/2018 13:48

Put together a make up bag of all your old shitty make up. Leave it strategically somewhere. Say nothing and see what happens.

The mess should be worth the time it buys you

But yeah it's fine to say I'm having my cup of tea and quiet time. It's also really fine to announce that it's movie time with blankets on the couch. So you can watch a movie together and it doesn't feel quite the same as sending her towards a tablet.

Hang in there OP. Not much longer til she's 3 and you can get the free hours.

costacoffeecup · 02/11/2018 13:53

Filling the day is difficult. I am also in third trimester with a three year old already. Thankfully I work three days a week but by a Friday afternoon I've had it! We've been out to the park and supermarket this morning and just got in, but five hours until bedtime still! We do a lot of cooking and baking, we're making pizzas for tea later. She's currently climbing on me and I'm at the end of my rope at being constantly mauled.

universe00 · 02/11/2018 14:52

Could you not put her in play school ? Does she get 16 hours free funding ?

Chargertest · 04/11/2018 21:03

I can totally relate to this. My son is exactly the same. We do groups and have playdates but he doesn't want to play with the other kids, he just wants me to play with him. I am exhausted. I can't even go upstairs or put a wash on withthout him demanding to come. I actually feel like it's ruining our relationship as I'm starting to just feel like I'd rather be at work which is horrible to say. I love him completely but it is beyond suffocating. He is like a newborn with the level of dependency.

Oblomov18 · 04/11/2018 21:12

I made it very clear to ds's from an early age that I would play sometimes but that I had other things to do. Be that washing and ironing or sitting watching tv or mn'ing.
You probably should have set firm boundaries already. But you can start now. Sit her down and tell her. Explain and tell her she'll need to play on her own sometimes.

Original poster

xxxParisexxx · 05/11/2018 09:44

It's so exhausting isn't it, glad to know I'm not the only one in the same situation.
I havnt alot of money so going to playgroup every day even once a day is too expensive for me. My local sure start centre only has groups for her age while she is at playschool. Same with library rhyme time, it's on when she is at playschool.
It's 9.42 and I am so fed up already. Makes me feel terrible but I just hate the same play all the time. If I say play by yourself now for a while she will just give up anything she is playing and lay on the settee with me until I will play again.
Today we have no plans and it's making me feel down that we have till 6pm to fill until OH comes in xx

OP posts:

BlueChampagne · 05/11/2018 13:04

I used to make Christmas cards with mine at that age (nice sitting down job). You'll need some coloured card (A5 is ideal as folded it goes in a normal envelope), some old wrapping paper, some glue and some glitter. Cut Christmassy shapes from the old wrapping paper (Christmas trees, stars, holly leaves, angels) or cut pictures out from it. Fold the card. Then let her glue the pictures on the cards and add glitter. You might need a shopping trip ...

Maybe she can practice writing her name so she can 'sign' them?

Go to the park and collect fallen leaves for a collage?

cantbeatfreshsheets · 05/11/2018 13:20

I do understand I'm in the same boat. My DS is 3 and he is constantly asking me to play. I try to get away with it as much as possible but it's hard. I'm also pregnant not as far as you but 25weeks. I run out of ideas and always feel bad for saying no which is silly. He goes to pre school 2days a week that's all we can afford and he loves the stimulation once he's there but even there doesn't like me leaving him to go there. He's like my shadow. I guess it's a compliment but it's hard enough when you're not pregnant let alone are. Can you organise a play date with one of her friends and hopefully the mum of the other child could return the favour for you? I find having two kids is easier when they have someone to play with. I've got a play date set up for the coming week for exactly this reason. X

Chargertest · 05/11/2018 15:15

Yes it's completely exhausting. My son also won't do crafts or baking or anything like that, he only wants to role play. I wish I had a solution for you but I'm still hoping to find one! Are you entitled to the 30 free hours? Could you look at sending her to preschool for the mornings?

Original poster

xxxParisexxx · 05/11/2018 17:33

Christmas cards are a great idea thank you, will defiantly try that.
We are not entitled to any free hours as we both work (even though I'm on mat leave now) so we can only afford the 2 mornings atm. She loves playschool so once we get the funding at Easter will up her days/hours.
We managed to string out at home until 1pm then went to the park and found a free toddler reading group in the cafe when we were there so that killed some time xx

OP posts:

BlueChampagne · 06/11/2018 13:39

Hope it helps! You could gradually put together an art and craft box. Sitting down drawing together should be reasonably relaxing. I remember a blackboard easel being popular as well at that age.

Can you involve her in making lunch? Help crack eggs for omelettes, stir soup etc?

Do you have a local toy library? Trips to library always good too, for new free reading matter.

Aventurine · 06/11/2018 13:41

I found it easier to take them out twice a day

Original poster

xxxParisexxx · 06/11/2018 22:41

We did playschool this morn and so I got a break and then home for lunch. She did start getting very moany etc so I went library for rhyme time eventhough she seems a bit old for it now at nearly 3.
It's hard as I'm not sleeping at night time very good with SPD etc being 32weeks now.
Glad for ideas xx

OP posts:

Olderbyaminute · 07/11/2018 17:56

Does she like to clean? I mean sweep the floor or vacuum? When my son was a toddler he loved to sweep with a small toy broom and dustpan and vacuum-eventually got him a stick cordless vacuum to play with. He had a plastic refillable spray bottle and dust rag and would just mimic me. Just a thought as it was fairly quiet and kept him busy

Original poster

xxxParisexxx · 07/11/2018 22:00

She has a toy Hoover she doesn't play with lol xx

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