Adjusting to life as a family of 4

[MrsWhite85]

I have a newborn (7 weeks old) and an almost 4 year old. I had a random comment from someone (as you do!) about family life. I thought as newborn is so little when it comes to parties, fireworks night etc my partner and I would take it in turns to take my 4 year old on his own. Said commenter thought this was unfair for newborn and wasnt encouraging my older son to bond or to see us as a family. Of course when my little one gets bigger he'll come on family outings too but for now, it's fine to do as we're doing, right??

It's up to you. I wouldn't be discussing my parenting plans with people as you'll get criticism regardless of what you say.

It's entirely your choice as to what you do as a parent. Ignore the comments and do what suits you as a family as there'll always be someone who will judge you.

Commentator needs to mind their own business! It's entirely up to you. Taking a 7 week old to a fireworks party is doable but not compulsory - it's not like they'll remember it, and I expect the 4yo will enjoy some one on one time with Mummy or Daddy.

I’ve just had my third but I have the same age gap with my first two. I’ve absoluteky had 1-1 time with the other two. Plenty of time for family bonding but they need to know I’m still their mummy too.

Do what works for you :) your 4 year old may love having some one 2 one time with each of you! It's also pretty cold to take a newborn out for long in at the moment/ winter bugs are well spread in crowds so there's a few good reasons for staying in. You can involve the little one in other ways, big cuddles and stories together, 4 year old helping you to bathe them or showing them toys etc. There isn't a right or wrong way to do outings.

The person was speaking out of turn, probably just off the top of her head but she was wrong to do so. I expect most of the time the four year old and the baby are together so it will be nice for the older one to have time with a parent on their own.

do whatever works for you, but one of my fondest memories was fireworks when dd2 was about 10 weeks. hat, hood and cotton wool pads to keep out the bangs and she slept through most of it in the sling but I was happy not to miss out.

the bond will come even if you stay home - it took my dd1 a while but is dd2 is a year they love playing together (most of the time)