I don't know who is reading or who is here but I needed to find a place to talk about this. Recently my ex husband reappeared in our lives. Me and my daughter's. He has never been present or stable and now he is back and wanted to get back with me. I told him I don’t want to be back with him but I honestly played nice for my daughter because she always gets excited when he is around. I recently put the cards on the table and told him how it was going to be. Because he was very touchy and loving. So I said “you need to back off and focus on your daughter” The reality is that I don't trust him around my daughter but my daughter adores him and needs him so bad, I can see how exited she gets when her father is around which breaks my heart because I know he doesn't feel the same way.
He asked me to let him take her every now and then to places just the two of them because I always go with them everywhere, all this time and he takes it like I want to be around him too. I don't like him getting ideas, so I decided to let him take her Sunday after we had lunch together. This is the first time he had taken her by himself. So, I went to clean my car while they went to do his laundry. We agreed that once we were done, we would go to watch a movies. So, I'm okay with that I finished, I do some shopping. After I'm done I called them it has been enough time. They told me they went to my house and because I wasn't there they decided to go to visit some of his dad’s old old friends.
I didn't like the idea that they didn't call me when they were done. I drove back home, they drove back home. At this point they had decided they wanted to watch a movie at my house and they both would meet me there. I stoped by to get some snacks and we both got there at the same time . I pulled over to get my mail and he is in the window, blowing kisses at me. I ignored him, then he parks comes over to my car, opens the door and asks in a really calmed and sensual way " what did you buy for us, (nickname)" and grabs my belly. I respond by telling him in a very serious voice. "Don't touch me" to what he gets offended and gets back in his car and my daughter gets out sees him getting back in his car and asks him why he is leaving, they had plans.
He leaves and says good bye to her. He is very mad. Calls back an hour later to tell her good night.
Talking to my daughter today she told me that he took her to a laundromat that even had a bar inside and games. That her dad was drinking there and the bar tender got mad at my daughter. Of course she would get mad at her. She is not supposed to be at a bar. So I'm trying to process the information. I don't like any of it. I don't tell him anything. Don't call him, don't talk to him.
Later on my daughter is doing her homework and I'm doing mine, her dad calls. She picks up and asks for help with her homework. This is great news to me. I get to study without worrying because he gets to help her. So I over hear that he is on his way to the house to help her. I'm okay. I don't care. My problem is when he shows up he didn't even knock on the door. He just opened the door and comes right in. So I have a problem with that. I keep doing my homework and ignore the fact, he comes in says hello and hugs his daughter. She is so happy and exited. Says hello to me and asks if I have any food because he is starving. I'm like "no, I didn't cook." Whatever he gets in my room and starts helping my daughter with her homework. Anyways they are done he says to my daughter they are going to the store I'm like WTH! Why is this guy acting like this?! So I'm mad but I said nothing, I just tell my daughter she needs to get in the shower and get ready for school tomorrow.
He ended up taking her to the store and I told him on the phone that I didn't like that. I started telling him over the phone everything that I didn't approve. He told my daughter, my daughter thought she was in trouble. I didn't appreciate that, the main reason I texted him was for that reason and that reason only. To avoid my daughter to get involved.
They eat watch a little about the movie he missed yesterday. I asked her to take a shower, he reads to her and says good bye. I get up and follow him to the door he says good bye and asks if he can take my daughter with him Sunday for a BBQ he was invited to. I'm there thinking “I want you to disappear forever” and regretting my bad choices in life. I said "I'll think about it" to this he responds I just want to spend time with my daughter just me and her. I tell him “I'm not ready to let her go to a place where she is going to be with your friends”. I mean I don't trust him how can I trust the people he is around with. I said he can take her to the park with her dog. He gets mad and says. "You can do whatever you want with your life, I don't care about you or your life. I just want my daughter" (he always says this to insult me) I told him that he was going to respect me, that it was the last time he'd ever talk to me that way, and that the next time he was not going to be welcome in my home. He left, my daughter began cry because she heard us fight.
I don't want to keep her away from him but I believe in my heart he is not good for her. I have full custody of her and I believe I'm being extra nice to him and he knows this, he takes advantage of this. I'm a fool for allowing this but at the same time I see how my daughter wants him so bad to be in her life it breaks my heart. I don't know what to do. I need help!