14 month old and near constant tantrums

[DietCokeIsBae]

I'm a SAHM to my DS who is 14 months next week. I love being a SAHM most of the time and I'm also currently in the process of setting up my own business on the evenings and weekends so can have quite long days But I try my best to make sure the time I have with him is focused only on us playing, reading, he helps me clean up etc.

But in the last month or so my DS has been unbearable to be with during the day because of his tantrums. They seem to last forever and can start over the smallest of things. There are obviously times where I know why he's having a tantrum, the first two weeks that they started he was teething and/or it's because I've tried to discipline him over something like throwing his toys across the room or hitting my face. But sometimes he starts because I reached past him to get something...😩

Today he had a 45 minute tantrum over goodness knows what and he was rolling all over the floor, standing up then falling down again sometimes knocking his head on toys accidentally and when I tried to intervene he would push me away. It eventually ended with him cuddling me with his dummy until he fell asleep on me.

I'm feeling awful because I love him so so so much and I love being at home with him but I'm starting to dread mornings during the week and look forward to his bedtime which makes me feel like I'm doing this all wrong and that I'm a horrible mum. I also worry that all he's associating me with is being told off or doing boring day to day things like bathtimes and mealtimes. He does seem slightly better behaved with DP but unfortunately he gets his fair share of tantrums too.

I guess I'm looking for some sort of tactic to employ if anyone has experienced similar or just the knowledge that it's a phase? My happy, giggly and cuddly boy has gone and he's making me feel like it's all my fault. Please help? 😢

They never told us that the terrible 2s start just after a year old did they?
I have a 15month old and whilst I’m all for disaplining and explaining to them that tantrums are bad etc ...they don’t understand yet. So instead I distract as soon as I see a tantrum starting- for us it’s a game of peekaboo- throwing a towel or throw over my face or theirs and saying “boo” - she laughs and I breath a sigh of relief.

firstly it's normal - my dd1 was chucking herself on the floor over nothing at this age, dd2 less so but she's only just 14mo so might come soon or might be she's got me wrapped around her little finger already.

make sure you talk to him and warn him before you do things, I find making sure they have regular food and naps helps.

Could it be hunger related?

Mine was the same at this age but someone suggested to me that he might be hungry so I upped his food intake and it made a huge difference.

They didn't stop completely but I felt I had my little boy back and I became able to predict when the tantrums might happen and more often than not itbeas when he hadn't had enough to eat.

Now if he starts throwing a tantrum I always offer him a bit of food, even just a prune, and he stops getting wound up about everything, for a little while at least!

We had the exact same thing at the exact same age. She was just practising her walking, and it seemed to be related to that? Almost like her little brain was completely overwhelmed by it all.

It was so hard though - If I tried to comfort her she would arch her back and throw herself around and make herself impossible to hold. She would get worked up into such a state, and often it would end up with her zonked out asleep on me from exhaustion from her strop.

Sometimes distraction would work, at least for a bit, but often it felt like just putting off the inevitable. The only thing that really helped was just being out and about loads - I found when she was out of the house she rarely did it. She also apparently never did it at nursery. It felt like she was saving all her emotions for when she was safe and secure, at home with me.

It didn't really last too long, although it felt forever at the time. I guess it was maybe a month or 6 weeks, although I can't remember exactly.

We had a break from tantrums although we have now moved onto the terrible twos. They feel very different though - although still frustrating I don't find them (so far!) anywhere as near as challenging. Unless she is really tired or poorly, her tantrums now don't seem quite as extreme! I do also find it easier to distract and negotiate which sometimes helps avoiding tantrums. Where the tantrums do occur, she usually comes out of them quicker, and is more open to the idea of a cuddle to help comfort her. It seems like she doesn't loose control quite so completely very often. That's not to say it's easy, and she's only just turned two so it could get worse but it does just feel very different. And at the very least now she is able to communicate what she is unhappy about, which helps! Although is frustrating in it's own way because it is often something ridiculous!

So just to reassure you, just because you are getting terrible, uncontrollable tantrums now, it won't necessarily be like this non stop until she comes out of the terrible twos.

Thank you for all your responses - we had a nicer afternoon and evening baby trying to distract him with toys and books when he seemed to get fussy. I'm glad that I'm not alone on this, guess I'll have to just keep pushing through!

Also, I do think that he could be hungry at times - he's a big boy and almost always will accept a snack between meals so I'll potentially make it part of the daily routine that he gets snacks.

Guess I'll just stock up on the pinot for Friday nights! 😂