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Parenting

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Original poster

Commuting with a baby

7 replies

catcrow · 26/10/2018 13:24

Hi
In Feb I am going back to work and my partner will be taking my little boy to nursery each day. We both commute and it means that he will have to leave the house at 7 and not get back until 7.we are trying to find another way but for the moment this is the situation we are in.
I am worried its such a long day and then his bed time will be quite late.
Has anyone been through this and have any help or suggestions please? Thanks

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DinoGreen · 27/10/2018 08:23

Just replying to this as we have a not dissimilar day, we leave the house at 7.30 and get back about 6.30. DS goes to nursery by my work so comes on the commute with me. When I first went back to work he was 10 months and it was a very long day for him. He didn’t sleep as well at nursery as he did at home and he would usually fall asleep on the way home. Luckily, he was so tired that this didn’t really interfere with bedtime - we’d get home, he’d wake up, have a quick snack and then start bedtime routine.

He’s now 2.5 and thriving - it’s got easier as he’s got older.

It helps that my DH can nearly always pick him up early around 4pm on one or two days a week. So the longer days were only 3 or 4. If you can sort any kind of flexitime for one of you so that you can do that, I’d recommend it.

LollyLollington · 27/10/2018 08:29

We did this from about 10months to 4yrs, but left at 7 and got back at 6. The early starts weren't a problem as DD was happy to be up at say 630. Getting back at 6 did mean we had a little bit of chillout time at home before bed- any chance you can ever do an earlier finish? Me and my partner flexed our hours and alternated days so our later nights at work were on non pickup days.

LollyLollington · 27/10/2018 08:33

People often said to me 'oh that's such a long day for her' but it didn't seem to affect her. School however, 9-3, totally shatters her! Guess it's the extra mental stimulation, the more structured day, and the getting used to new things. I'm sure once your Ds gets used to routine (and the younger he is the easier it will be to adapt) he'll be just fine

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Viebienremplie · 27/10/2018 10:12

We had similar 7am to 6.30pm including commute. DC were fine, they got to have plenty of quiet time at nursery (were more likely to nap there than at home!). We did break it up though by doing 3 days nursery then 2 days at home with a nanny. Nanny was more expensive but I liked the fact I was mixing both options. When youngest got to 3 years old we switched to live in au pair as the DC transitioned to school hours. It's worked well for us and I have two healthy, happy children now, eldest moves up to secondary next year.

Original poster

catcrow · 27/10/2018 12:46

Thanks for all the advice. We both work in different cities so me picking him up isn't an option. We are looking at trying to fox it to only do 4 days so it isn't quite as bad. I'm glad to hear that they get used to it-at the moment all I ever get from people is that he won't cope and I shouldn't do it!

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InDubiousBattle · 28/10/2018 09:50

He will cope, babies are pretty adaptable and nursery will have experience with dc being full time. I really don't think it will be easy though op, if there is another way I would take it. Friends of mine had a similar situation and they found that their dc fell asleep on the commute home, one from the word go and the other when they dropped a nap. This meant that they essentially moved them from the car seat to bed in the evening, so they didn't see them at night and it put more pressure on the mornings as they needed to be bathed etc then. They had more problems the older the dc got because if they woke up on the transfer fro the car to the house they were distraught and a nightmare to get to bed. But they had just over an hour commute each way which made it more difficult. I think even picking up early one day a week would be a big help.

Heratnumber7 · 28/10/2018 10:09

My only reservation would be that you aren't going to get any reasonable time during the week to just "be" with your child, and that it's probably going to be difficult at weekends too because with work/commute hours for both of you such as you describe you must spend time at the weekends on chores and errands.
Will either of you be able to have enough time with the baby for play and fun?

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