Another non-sleeping baby - anyone want her?

[wobblyknicks]

Am already lost - can't do this not sleeping malarky.

Over the past week dd (14 mo) has been getting funnier and funnier about going down for a sleep. She used to go down no probs and go straight to sleep but first it was a little wail and then she went to sleep, then it was big wailing until I went in to comfort her and then she'd go down and to sleep. Then I had to go in twice, then 3 times and last night she wailed her head off (really bad scaredy cries) every time I put her down until after 4 hours the only thing that would make her sleep was sleeping with her, on a matress in her room. Managed to get her back into her cot when I woke up in the middle of the night but now I'm a tired zombie and I can't do co-sleeping as a permanent thing.

But what else can I do? I don't want to have to sleep with her and I don't want her getting addicted to that but I don't know what else to try if she won't sleep. I also don't know WHY she won't sleep - all I can think of is more teeth but she had paracetamol and that always worked before.

Wk is it possible she has had a bad dream or something or something has happened to disrupt her routine in the day. I s she tired when you put her to bed - Maybe just spend soem time giving lots of cudles and reassurance at sleep ( more than you normally do ) time - does she seem ill- Hope you dfind sme way forward- this is help from the person who dd has onle just started to sleep on their own

Thanks gm (hope your little one sleeps ok). DD doesn't seem ill at all, and its definitely a scaredy cry rather than an angry or ill one (listen to me, sound like a right earth mother now). She doesn't seem to have had a bad dream any time but she doesn't sleep at all before wailing so it can't be because of bad dreams that night. AFAIK nothing's disrupted her day routine - it did yesterday when for once she didn't nap at all in the day but obv that doesn't explain the days before.

I give her loads of cuddles now before bed and she's fine then, but then she just doesn't want to go down on her own. Weird thing last night, don't know if it means anything, normally when I cuddle her she'll lie back in my arms and relax and start dropping off but last night she refused to lie down - she hated it, she would only sit up on my lap. I tried to put her lying down in her pushchair to rock her but she just refused to lie down!

Will have to come to the land of litotes and let her play in the fields while I catch up on my sleep - am seriously thinking of going to a commune so I can get loads of help!!!

Ok, she's still being funny - keep having wailing fits over nothing and she's as knackered as she's ever been but she WILL NOT go down for a nap. I've played with her, fed her, given her a bath, read to her and she's STILL wailing. What on earth can I do?? Will take her out in the pushchair in a min but thats not a permanent solution obviously!!

Have a few ideas;

1. Let her cry until she goes to sleep, however long that is - ala Super Nanny

2. Do controlled crying even though it didn't work after 4 hours last night.

3. Co-sleep with her even though I hate it and get scared I'll roll onto her in the night.

4. Give her lots of Calpol/Nurofen/Medised and try and drug her to sleep.

5. Keep her up with me until she drops asleep from sheer exhaustion.

Can't say I like any of those ideas - anyone got anything better - PLEASE???

WK, not sure I'm going to be too much help here but I've just picked up something from one of your earlier posts about her not actually wanting to lie down. Do you think that it could be something physical to do lieing down that is causing the problem - rather than a sleep as such? Could she be in some kind if discomfort - can't constipation cause an uncomfortable feeling?

I know you've probably gone down all the normal routes already, but my other thoughts were that at 14 months she might be getting molars through which can be extremely painful. Also - does she have a comforter/night-light of some kind - maybe she's just developed a temporary fear of the dark?

Probably not much help at all - but my sympathies are with you and I hope you manage to sort it out.

I thought about physical things but she's pooing as normal and doesn't seem in pain as far as I can see. I have given her lactulose last night and this morning though just in case. It might be teething because she's putting her fist in her mouth and pulling her ear like she does when she teethes but I can't feel any teeth coming through on her gums, no unusual hard lumps - is that normal with molars? She does have a comforter and her baby alarm has a night light but I don't close her curtains fully so there's a little light when she goes to bed.

Thanks hba for the support, I know there's no magic answers but I wish there was!!!

and mine too
wakes up most nights
he is mad as a snake

coddy - can i swop with you?

WK i found that my 2 older children both started to get a bit scared of the dark at this age. Between 14 - 16 months. I had the same sort of wailing when put down at night, wailing if they woke at night instead of going straight back to sleep when they used to. But fine being put down for naps when it was light. So that was the age I started leaving the door open a bit and a light on in the hall, they were fine after that. I think they just got to the age where pitch black was unnerving for them somehow.
May not be the same for you, but worth a try - easy solution if that IS the problem!

pph - I would LOVE that to be the problem but atm dd is wailing just the same whether its day or night she's put down. I never close the curtains fully so its always a bit light and in the day its very light and I've tried leaving the door open today but none of it is working . I think she is insecure about going to bed somehow but apart from co-sleeping I can't find a way of calming her.

drug her with medised

have to get some medised first - will try and persuade sis to take me to the chemist

thats the ticket
might break the habit

Thanks 006 - she's got a musical thing that I always put on when she goes to bed but could try those cd's - are they like the white noise type things?

Lol 006 - I only play dd's music box thing at bedtime and was hoping it had her 'trained' but seems not!!!

I had a similar problem with my dd when she was around the same age. Never did work out what the problem was but I spent weeks trying to second guess and trying all sorts of different tactics. In the end, I took her to GP to rule out illness, and then got a bit firm. I just stuck to a calming loving bedtime routine, and then just laid her down and left. I kept going back to reassure her every 5 minutes until she went to sleep. It took about a week - this won't work in one night!
With hindsight (isn't it a wonderful thing!) I realised that although it was probably some very real fear or something that started the problem, I didn't help by constantly reinforcing the 'bedtime is scary' belief by staying with her trying to cuddle her, confusing her with different tactics etc.

Hope this helps, bit waffly, sorry!

Sarah

Thanks CG - I've been really set on the idea of just reassuring her until she goes to sleep and the night before last I went in every 10 mins thinking she'd eventually go off but after 4 hours she still hadn't calmed down at all so I ended up sleeping with her in desperation. Last night I tried the same thing but my patience ran out a lot quicker (took about and hour and a half) so I rocked her to sleep and it worked perfectly.

I KNOW I'm making a rod for my own back, and I KNOW getting her off to sleep on her own would be far better but if she WILL NOT go to sleep on her own - what else can I do? How long can I leave it - would have thought 4 hours was long enough.

Also bought some Nurofen and Medised yesterday and dosed her up on each (2 hours apart) - may have made her slightly calmer but didn't send her to sleep.

WK it may just be a phase as she is growing and noticing things changing (she is bing treated as achild and not a baby ) I din 't know what to suggest I cudddled dd to sleep until a few months ago .

I did that with baby paps WK last nite... first nite with no bf offered. It started off badly when at 9.30pm she woke up.. discovered ti wasn't from pain though but leaking re-usuable nappy
It took along while to get her back to sleep and I lay her on my chest to soothe... she was almost asleep and I put her in her futon... she was not happy about that but I stayed close which seemed to be a great help.
For me transition is not about removing yourself from the scene. I stayed with her.. well we all sleep together anyhow and gave her reassurance that whilst the boob was away the mother certainly was not.
If it is just a stage with your dd some time together might be all that is required and she will settle down sooner without developing night time anxiety problems like nightmares etc.

I don't think its a rod for your back btw... reassurance in mine and many peoples book means more confidence and a more settled child in the long run.

I did CC with DD. I haven't had to do it with DS as I am afraid to say I let him cry from day 1 when he was tired . It was terrible at first and I felt so awful, but it worked a treat after 3 nights. I made sure that she hadn't had too much sleep during the day and was ready for bed and also made sure that she wasn't ill/teething etc and went for it!! They soon get the idea that they have to go to sleep at the end of the day - for everyones sake!! Or am I too harsh??

I used to do cc with dd the odd night when she wouldn't settle very well but other than that she slept like an angel every night.

Last night I couldn't even rock her to sleep - spent nearly 2 hours on it and every time I tried to put her down she woke straight up and eventually wouldn't trust me enough to go to sleep. So I ended up co-sleeping again and I think that's the way its going to be from now on.

Thanks gm and paps - now I'm thinking I'd love to rock her to sleep but it doesn't seem to be an option now!!!

poppy - I don't think you're harsh at all, think cc is a good idea but there has to be a point at which if it doesn't work then you give up, IMO, and dd keeps going past my point!!!

Have found out it definitely is teething - felt inside her mouth this morning and felt the tip of a molar poking through so that explains it!! Think I'll just do co-sleeping for now, for both our sakes and tackle it in a week or two. Thanks everyone!