Do you and your partner share night feeds etc?

[ER1992]

As the title says. Do you share it between you both or do you do it all on your own? If you share how do you work it? Whilst my husband was on paternity leave he was getting up and doing the nappy while I sorted the bottle and then he passed me our son for me to feed while he went back to bed which worked well. Now hes back at work I feel bad waking him to help me but I feel I still need a bit of help as still getting used to everything

I understand how you feel. My DH went back to work this week and I've been trying to let him get as much sleep as possible. What worked for us on the good day was I expressed in the day and he used it to feed DD when I rested and I did the other night feeds after he went to bed. Split shifts basically.

I EBF so did all the night feeds (while he slept next to me BREATHING!) last time, what I found good was going to bed slightly earlier and leaving baby downstairs with him so I could get a few hours of deep sleep without feeling I had to listen out for baby (he tends to go to bed later than me anyway) - that worked well.
This time, who knows?! He'll probably need to be getting up with our toddler so I can get some extra rest in the mornings.

I ebfd so nothing dh could do there. One thing I didn't do though was a nappy change unless ds was quite sodden or soiled. Could you may be prepared a bottle or 2 before bedtime so they just need warming? In essence, all your husband is doing is a nappy change. 🤷‍♀️

Our DS (5 months) is a rotten sleeper so I cover night wake ups 10-5am then anything after that DH does so I get a guaranteed 2 hours uninterrupted sleep. He has a nasty drive into work and a full on job so I only resent him a tiny bit at 12, 2am, 3am, 4am.... On a weekend he always makes sure I get a good lie in though.

It depends what sort of job. When my baby was born my DH was driving a lorry so I wouldn't wake him, but he would stay up and do the latest possible feed, so like 11ish, I would go to bed at 9.30/10. I would then get up and do the others, and DH would do the feed just before work if it happened to fall within half hour of him getting up anyway, if not I would do it.
On a weekend, we would do every other one, and I would get lay in one day, and he would get it the other day.

I exclusively breastfed too so DH had nothing to do. I also coslept once the baby was a bit older so I never had any sleep issues or shortage whatsoever. No bottle warming. The nappy never was soiled to the extent it needed to be changed during the night.

Just as a little tip, we bought two flasks and we filled one with boiled water that had been cooled to room temp, and another that was filled with boiled water. We then filled milk powder pots with the correct amount of formula, and took the amount we'd need through the night, plus same number of bottles and took them all up to bed with us.
When baby woke, I used to put an ounce of boiled water in the bottle, pour the pot of formula in, then fill to required amount with the cooled boiled water.
That way, bottles were perfect drinking temperature, and I didn't have to go downstairs, or count scoops whilst tired, and was also quicker, and a little less disruptive for everyone

My DH did his share when he was on paternity leave and then I did it all once he was back at work. It's tough, but only for a relatively short period of time.

I EBF so DP can't do anything and he's back working full time. He does nappies during the day when he's back from work but doesn't help during the night as I think it's unfair with him going to work. He used to help at weekends but I'm so in a routine now I don't mind getting up. Means if I ever want to nap during the day he has no excuse! X

We were lucky with DS1, the most he ever woke was twice a night. When DH went back to work, he got up to do the first feed (around 1 or 2am) as it meant he could then sleep through til 7. I got up to do the second at 5ish then back to sleep until DS1 woke at 8 or 9am.

I just do night feeds purely because I'm a sahm and he works full time getting up at 530 most days

Dh used to do the dream feed at 11 so I could get and early night.
I did all the night feeds except on a Friday when I slept in the spare room and he took over. I slept until I woke up,it was heaven!
I was gutted when we had dc4 and we had ran out of spare bedrooms!!
I've never seen the point in both of you getting up with the baby though and I've never changed a nappy in the night unless they'd pooed. What's the point you're just waking them up more!

What bigger boat said! It's tough when it's not equal but only for a relatively short period of time. And there are lots of other ways they can support you.

At first we split the nights, so we each got at least a 5 hour block, then we've moved to alternate nights.

Given thst babies are usually still waking in the night when the mother (or sometimes father) return to work, and they just get on with it, I don't see work as a get out clause for the person (usually dad) who returns to work first.

Getting your bottle feeding shizzle in order is a big advantage though. We made up bottles in advance for the day, flash cool and then back off fridge. At night took them up in an insulated bag, and then popped them into a microwave next to the bed (picked up second hand for a fiver) to heat. Shake well to ensure no hot spots, but it meant a bottle done in about 20 seconds without leaving the room (or potentially, bed)

@Sleeplikeasloth I'm not questioning, I'm just curious what formula you used? I know things change all the time, and my DS was on prescribed formula.. but I thought normal stuff had to be added to an ounce of boiling water, then the cooled water added after. I didn't think you could make them in advance or reheat them?
I'm just wondering if I was wrong, purely because I'm pregnant again, and seems a much more productive way of it is possible

No, I breastfed all the dc so it wasn't possible for DH to share feeds.

My dh always shared night feeds, with the dd's whoever woke up did it. With the dt's we both mucked in at first then reverted to whoever woke unless the other really needed a hand.

He was adamant that it didnt matter that he had work and i didnt, it wasnt fair for me to be tired and him well rested.

I’m bf, so no, there’s really nothing he can do. But he does do everything with our older one (bath, bedtime, up with her during the night and then gets up with her in the morning if she wakes first). That makes my nighttime with baby easier.

With her, when I was bottle feeding, he would get up and get the bottle and I would do the feed, or sometimes vice versa. Other nighttime wakings up until ds was born with her we did about 50/50, just depending on who needed the sleep more, who had to get up early for work the next day, etc.

I bf at night so DH never got up. And I didn’t see the point in waking him to change a nappy (if it needed doing) when I was up anyway.

We did give a bottle of either formula or ebm at around 10/11pm so DH used to do that. And he would get up early with the baby once she’d had her morning feed and let me have an hour or 2 sleep before he went to work. And he’d deal with toddler too

SPR1107, just C&G. Yes, you're officially not supposed to make them in advance as it's not 'THE safest' method, but it's still pretty safe, and is an acceptable method by the WHO. The key is to cool the bottles quickly. For the first month or so next time, I'll probably only keep them for 12 hours rather than 24, but we've never had any problems with the method, and neither have anyone else I've known.

Once my daughter reached 6 months, we'd sometimes quickly make up a bottle with a bit of boiled water, and the rest tap water, as she was having tap water by then.