Scared, pregnant and worried about partners reaction

[iloveagoodemoji]

I'm divorced with two children DD 6 and DS 3. I met someone new last year and found out 4 months into our relationship I was pregnant. We used the morning after pill which didn't work. We made the very painful choice to terminate at 6 weeks and he won't talk about it since then as it's in the past, his words not mine. I struggled with the choice and it's taken me months to get over. We now live together and we are a very solid couple. We have talked about kids in the future as he has none, but right now our house is too small and we don't have the money to buy anything bigger. Well I found out yesterday i'm pregnant again and i'm terrified he will tell me to have a termination. The timing isn't any better, but he hasn't been particularly careful as he doesn't like condoms (uses pull out) and I don't get along with the pill or coil. I know we have both been irresponsible and even though the house situation isn't great I am ok with having a baby and he wants one too, but he worries so much about money and has this idea of being in the perfect situation when we do have one. He has Asperger's which doesn't help with communication. He's told me he would happily have a child tomorrow if we had a bigger home.

You either want a child or you don’t, you don’t pick and choose a perfect time to have one.
You made a mistake with the last termination, don’t make another one.

I just don't understand how he can be so keen to have a family, but if the timing isn't perfect then you just get rid of it. We can always make more money eventually and get a bigger house and if this is where it's heading does it matter if it's now or a year away. I had told him once I came off the coil due to having issues with it we should use condoms. He didn't want to and I made it clear if I did fall pregnant then I would keep it. But i'm still worried about how he'll react.

Exactly, it doesn’t matter. You’d make do for a couple of years I’m sure. Stuck 4 and 6 year old in bunk beds for a short while or whatever.

You say you’re solid, are you? You’re shouldn’t be scared of his reaction. He’s been irresponsible if he doesn’t want a baby why isn’t he using condoms. That’s baby making behaviour in my eyes, and if his withdrawal method fails then accept the inevitable consequence. You can’t have one termination, play with fire and then he expect you to have another.

Tell him- fuck how he reacts.

I know you’re right. The kids are already sharing a room right now so it would be very tight, but I guess we’ll just have to make do for now. I’m scared he’ll tell me he doesn’t want it and that he thinks I should get a termination again. He would never make me and he told me last time if I did keep it he would support me. He’s not back for over a week so I can’t tell him really until then.