Relentless nursery bugs... beginning to feel very depressed.

[KikiA]

Just that, really... it's getting harder and harder every time I have to send him in and go to work knowing that he's unwell and probably going to catch something else before he's over the last thing. It's been six weeks without a single break from it, and I don't see it letting up anytime soon. I'm just starting to feel deeply saddened by the fact that the limited time I now have with him is spent dealing with illnesses. It's really hard and I just feel like crying. I've had my fair share of it too, including a flu-like cold which developed into tonsillitis. The antibiotics for the tonsillitis then caused me to get thrush in my nipples and downstairs, the latter of which isn't clearing up. I just feel so sad. I was enjoying being back at work at first but now I'm just feeling utterly bereft and missing the time I had with my baby where it wasn't a constant struggle and we could enjoy life together...

Please tell me it gets better..? I just want to give up.

That is part of the journey in my opinion. For me it was like that until my daughter was 3 and she was BF for 18 months (but I wasn't and have generally lowest immunity ever so maybe that's part of the equation ). Children are born with no immunity and have to be exposed to viruses in order to have a chance to develop a shield against them. It just part of the process, the designer of which did not contemplate convenience 

To be honest, you either go through it now or you go through it when they start school. At least the immune system is getting strong and healthy which is a good thing.

The irony of the situation is that I am from a medical background, so I know only too well the immune system side of things. Just didn't factor in my emotional capacity to deal with it and the overwhelming feeling of guilt that comes as part of the package :( I'm certainly not a germophobe, but a bit of a break for his sake and my sanity would certainly be welcome.

It sounds horrendous. No wonder you're drained and feel defeated.

Is there any way you could take a day or two off whilst your baby is at nursery so you can sleep and recharge? You're clearly exhausted.

I'm feeling a similar way OP, it's so hard isn't it?

DD 14mo started a couple of months ago and has had a constant cold as well as various illnesses ever since - a sickness bug, random fever and rash,

chesty cough, now suspected hand foot and mouth. Sigh.
She also keeps giving it to me and DP, he's off work with a severe chest infection and I had strep two weeks ago. SIGH.

It's super hard at the moment but I'm just hoping like a PP said that when she starts school she'll be fighting fit and we won't have to take time off as I'll be working FT by then.

@cobblers... I might have done were it not for the fact that I'm anticipating many more months of this to come and so I'm reluctant to use up any sick leave unless absolutely necessary, as nursery fees are pretty astronomical and I can't afford to lose out financially if I run out of paid sick leave. But yes... I am exhausted. Working fulltime with a baby who breastfeeds all night and is currently bringing home every bug in the vicinity is just not doing me many favours at the moment.

@red.. yes, it is bloody hard. I'm not in the least bit bothered about myself, it's just utterly soul destroying watching my baby go through infection after infection... a couple of nights ago we had about 4 hours of non-stop coughing (and I mean coughing every other second) and retching because of the mucus on his chest, and it was the little cries every time I had to quickly sit him up and pat his back to stop him throwing up because he was just so tired and wanted to sleep. That was the point at which I felt like I was slipping into a real state of sadness about it. Having to get up and get ready for work and get him ready for nursery as if we hadn't spent the night as we did was brutally hard and I could have just sat at my desk and cried all day. Never felt so useless in all my life 😔

Everything's a phase and this will pass, etc .... having said that, of its miserable, maybe you could look at switching him to a childminder - fewer germy kids. I'll probably live to regret it once he starts school, but so far my 2.5yr DS has only been ill a few times (touching wood), and he's at childminder.

The first year at nursery is the worst, after that everything calms down. Hang in there!

Poor you, it's tough and exhausting, you have all my sympathy. Might it be worth taking him to the doctor to see if they can prescribe anything to help with the coughing so he can sleep a little easier? Really hope it improves soon, we are in a similar position but not quite as bad as you - yet!

It's a bit of a dilemma because he absolutely loves it at nursery, so I'm reluctant to change the current setup because he obviously doesn't understand that if he goes there, he gets ill. He just thinks he goes there and has the best time. It's just me that carries the guilt of knowing that he's going there and getting ill, if you see what I mean?

As for his coughing, we've got a little inhaler - they won't diagnose asthma until they're older because there's no way of knowing if it is at that age, but the fact that I am asthmatic and his dad has hayfever means it's more than likely thay a nasty virus would bring on symptoms... trying to get him to sit still long enough to take 5 breaths with the actual face mask on, however, is an entirely fruitless task. It's all just utterly draining. I'm at the point of feeling completely overwhelmed in the mornings when I know we will be separated all day, because all I want to do is look after him, give him cuddles and play knowing that he would at least get a break from the complete battering he's taken over the last 6 weeks... It's almost like being homesick. I just miss him terribly.

Anyway, sorry... I'm rambling on. Just feeling very, very down about it all and I'm never usually down about anything. I think this has well and truly chewed me up and spat me back out. I massively underestimated how hard it would be once the reality of it kicked in because my first couple of weeks back went so much better than anticipated.

We had illness after illness for the first 5 months (including chicken pox) but just colds since. Been there nearly two years now and hasn't been sent home ill since.

Give him sambucol and get some multi vital for yourself. With winter coming it's only going to get worse

If you can afford it, you could get a nanny and take him out of nursery. That way, he'd be less exposed. If he's settled at nursery though (and it sounds as though he is), I'd stick with it, be prepared for very lazy days for the both of on your days off and just see this stage through. The first winter is the worst and I became an expert on the moment that the GP surgery handed over to OOH. DD was much better in the second winter at nursery and continued to improve after that. She's now in Y4 and, other than one bout of D&V in reception, her only days off school have been related to injuries (sprained ankle, concussed herself type thing) rather than illnesses. DC2 was a different kettle of fish as he had already picked things up from DD and her friends so, whilst affected on starting nursery, wasn't as extreme as DD had been.

I was you with number one and worse I’m a total germaphobe. It’s was a lot better with DS2.
I recommend sambocol too and breastfeeding vitamins for you. And reduce your hours if you can? Make life easy for yourself. This time isn’t about earning money it’s about settling into the new routine and feeling happy.
By the second DC it’s fine. Number three and you don’t even notice!