3 week old sleep - please help

[AllesAusLiebe]

Hello,

I have a 3 week old son and looking for any advice on getting him to sleep in his own cot. I’m really struggling with lack of sleep and will try anything.

In short:

• He happily sleeps on DH or me, only waking up once per night.
• He naps really well during the day but only on me.
• we’ve got a Snuzpod, a sleepyhead-type thing and a rocker. He’ll sleep in neither.
• I’ve tried putting him in his cot when awake. He quietly throws his arms and legs around and after 20 minutes or so starts to cry.
• when I move him when he’s asleep, he wakes up immediately.
• I’ve tried white noise, swaddling to no avail.

Does anyone have experience of this and would be willing to share how you solved it? Feel like I’m slowly losing my mind through sleep deprivation.

Swaddle, start off on you and then transfer when asleep. Might work but some just want to always be with you.

Smelly t-shirt: can sometimes. Attach to outside of the cot. They may then think you are right next to them.

Heart beat sound / Ewan The Sheep and others. Sometimes these things can help convince them that they are back in the womb.

He is very young, it will improve - by 12 months you shouldn't still be holding him all the time. Every child is different so experiment and see what works.

I’m on my third dd and the only way that my first and third would sleep to start off with was on my chest - it wasn’t being on me they wanted, it was being on their tummy (dd2 slept fine on her back!). I am well aware that this is against all advice but dd3 sleeping on her tummy in her crib is safer than her sleeping on my chest and us better than none of us getting any sleep!!!

That’s totally normal at this point I’m afraid. It will pass.

All sounds very familiar! It’s so exhausting, but it does change as they get older. My son just needed to sleep on me and I accepted it (ended up getting loads of sleep btw because he was happy), daughter was fine in loads of fleecy blankets and a crib. A myhummy helped with the 4mth sleep regression when I got really sick of cosleeping!

You’ve just got to ride it out im afraid. They’re so used to being in your womb all cosy and warm anything else is scary to them! I don’t think there is much you can do to change it other than time. Keep trying putting her down every so often and you’ll find she goes for longer stretches each time, in the day my daughter actually likes being left alone for a bit now! Mine is 8 weeks and we’re just getting to the point she will sleep in her crib (still needs my hand on her / face on her before she sleeps and that’s still hit and miss sometimes! Still a work in progress!)

Thanks everyone for the replies.

@nannynick I’ll try the t shirt idea - thanks! We’ve got Ewan the Sheep, he likes it, but it sadly doesn’t result in sleep! 😂

@Matilda1981 I’ve wondered this, except in this case, I think it is a preference for sleeping on his side. I realise that this is a no-go, but he does have quite a lot of head control for his age so i wonder whether it’s worth going against the advice and giving it a try...

I’m actually pretty happy to hear that it’s normal and will pass! Midwife said I shouldn’t worry but the health visitor said it was a problem and he needs to be in his own bed asap. She said it’ll create issues further down the line if I allow him to sleep on me. This panicked me, so I’ve been desperately trying to get him into his cot. If it’s normal for his age, I’ll ride it out and DH and I will revisit our sleep schedules to make sure we’re at least getting a few hours uninterrupted per night.

I used to swaddle DS and hold him until he was sleepy then keep lowering him down. He’d keep peeping at me to check I was still holding him but eventually he’d give up checking I was still there. That’s when I’d lower him into his cot. The swaddle made him think I was still holding him.

I learnt not to ask the HV things, I found most of them judgy and badly informed.

He's been inside you for so long and the world is so new to him, he's just seeking your reassurance. It is completely normal. We coslept from 3 weeks to about 5 months on and off. I'd recommend reading up on making co-sleeping as safe as possible (if you're breastfeeding), it saved my sanity.

And I'm currently holding my 9 month old while she naps - I can put her down now though! I just enjoy the cuddles now I don't get them so much. It gets easier with time x

Enjoy co-sleeping OP it's the biological and human norm. As long as you do it safely, it's the best way for you both to get sleep.