Should I break up with my partner while I'm pregnant

[TaylorBuff97]

This is abit of a weird one, I've already sort of made up my mind.
I'm 4-5 weeks pregnant, after having a miscarriage a few months ago, we just found out that am pregnant and I was so excited! He didn't seem as thrilled as I was, he seemed more annoyed than anything. Since finding out I'm pregnant all we have seemed to do is argue and go for hours not speaking, even though we live in the same house. I've brought up baby names and getting bits for the baby and he keeps brushing it off, oh why are you even thinking like that it's got ages till it's due, just try and forget about it till it's time. I also brought up possibly moving the baby into his sons room when it's born, he already has to kids who stay 2 days every other week, to which he responded I don't want to make my kids feel pushed out, I want them to have their own room, the baby will just have to stay with us until a buy a new house. We're not rich in the slightest, he has about 5-6 years left till he pays off his house, or until he can get another mortgage.
We've been arguing a lot more lately, we're both really tight for money due to unexpected bills and I have had to lend money just to eat, meanwhile he has been spending the last of his money on cigarettes and beer.
I don't know if it's just the stress of me being pregnant, or something else but It's becoming difficult to live with him, or do anything together as a couple, even though we don't do much.
He also seems to be obsessed with his ex wife, and she seems to be the same with our relationship as she makes snidey comments to him and his mother.
Last week I also found out he was having inappropriate conversations and possibly phone calls with a woman, while I was asleep.
This is becoming really overwhelming, I'm finishing it hard to trust him and be happy.
Any suggestions or should I just walk ??

Tbh he sounds like a terrible partner but I do think you're jumping the fun by suggesting breaking up with him.
Try having a real heart to heart with him about your concerns. That will either clear the air and set things in the right direction, or make you sure you do want to break up with him.
Doing so whilst pregnant is not the best position to put yourself in so you need to be absolutely sure you're doing the right thing and that there aren't underlying issues for his behaviour that can be sorted.

Yes, it only gets more complicated. I wish I had left earlier. I don't think anybody ever wishes they'd wasted more of their life in a bad relationship.

This is not clear when you're in the middle of the fog but later when you've made all the practical arrangements required and when you have mourned what you hoped you'd have, you will not wish that you'd stayed longer in a bad relationship.

Where would you go and how would you manage financially?

My sister did this. At the time we all thought she was nuts but in hindsight she knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere so why stay? Her DS has had a stable childhood with 2 parents who live apart. It's all he's ever known. He didn't have to live with rowing parents or go through a divorce. It wasn't easy for her going through it all alone, but it was brave. Good luck OP.

Did you not discuss logistics before ttc? He won't be as excited as you as it is early days (and he may be worried about mc) and he already has done "firsts" with his dc. The house issue is a red herring, you can redeem a mortgage early, transfer the package, buy jointly etc. Having said that the fact he is talking to other women is a big issue. You and your baby are not his priority. Do you have any independent finances or income?

I work full time and if he did kick me out I have enough savings and family help to get a place of my own, I can financially support myself and the baby.

I hope he wouldn’t be smoking in a house with a baby.

To be fair on the sleeping point, the baby should preferably (according to the guidelines) be sleeping in the room with its parents until it’s six months old.

But yes, he sounds like he’s being pretty useless and I couldn’t really be fucked with that

he sounds like he's not wanting to get excited in case you miscarry again. a lot sounds normal albeit not good.

I think you can work through it.