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Baby-led weaning going nowhere

69 replies

ferma · 20/10/2018 10:13

It's still early days I know, but a week in and baby-led weaning isn't going particularly well for DD (6 months).

She can sit in her high chair and reach the tray where we put steamed batons of various vegetables. But her hand eye coordination isn't great, so the food doesn't really make it to her mouth. If we help her, she will give the food a lick and half-hearted gum, but not sure much goes in.

I know it doesn't matter, it's more about trying new flavours and textures but still relying on breast milk for nutrition, but am I doing something wrong? DD does seem very interested when we're eating, so I think she's ready... maybe just a matter of time?

We have tried a bit of traditional purée too but she doesn't love this either, and we're keen to give BLW a good go.

Anyone with experience or advice? Thank you.

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Calzone · 20/10/2018 22:15

If you are on IG, follow swfeebs.

She’s amazing with her daughter on BLW.

Childrenofthesun · 20/10/2018 22:22

I did mostly purees with a few finger foods for my first DC. Second DC I started with baby-led weaning but then found it was easier to just do a mixture of spoon and finger foods. She generally had what we had but sloppier foods were whizzed up a bit and spoon fed while chunkier food was given to her to feed herself.

Anecdotal data on a sample of two children: now they are school-aged, the puree-fed baby is a much, much better eater!

Curlywurly1975 · 21/10/2018 00:12

Really try not to worry about how little actually goes in your baby’s mouth. You’ll have a good few months of it mostly going on the floor/in their hair. I did blw with both of mine, never puréed or spoon fed a thing. Within a few months, they got the hang of it. I actually thought it looked a much less stressful way of weaning compared to some of my friends who would get really worked up if their babies didn’t swallow the prescribed amount of spoonfuls of food.

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speakout · 21/10/2018 06:41

BLW also means allowing a child to decide when to start eating solids, not just the mechanism for doing so.
My kids ate no solids until 8/9 months.
Milk provides all nutrients for the first 12 months.

cushioncuddle · 21/10/2018 07:12

Try giving her puréed foods as well. Do both.

user1539506092 · 21/10/2018 07:17

We did a bit of both. So fed her purée & had a few peas, grated cheese etc for her to do a bit of baby led & practice the pincer grip

stiltonontoast · 21/10/2018 09:18

We also do both! Usually start with a puree, then yoghurt or rice pudding, then finger foods (so I can do some washing up or another job while keeping watch) I feel its worked nicely because we know he's getting a good amount of food from the puree and learning good skills from feeding himself.

Ceara · 21/10/2018 09:25

Agree with all the advice not to fret at this point, and do whatever feels right for you and your family.

We planned to feed purees with some finger food (ie bog standard weaning) from 6 months. A week in and I could have written your OP in terms of how well it was all (not) going. DS was having none of it, he clamped his jaws shut, refused the spoon, yelled, cried and was only interested in the finger food we offered or what he could grab off our plates.

So we ditched purees and never looked back, because BLW was what worked for our baby and our family. No harm in trying whether mixed feeding is going to suit your baby better, if you wanted to, You said she doesn't love purees either, so not necessarily the answer but you can revisit it at any time.

That said, I don't think you need to be worried that BLW isn't working well after a week. You said she's interested and she's having a go, that sounds just fine for such early days?

My DS didn't really start eating "properly" in comparison to the quantities that spoon fed babies all around us were eating until 10+ months and was a lot slower to drop milk feeds than the traditional advice and HVs indicated he "ought" to be. I think that's quite normal with BLW? It was hard not to worry occasionally whether we were doing the right thing. It was also hard, on a practical level, not to feel a little envious of the ease and convenience of spoon feeding. The mess at mealtimes in our house was epic and I sometimes felt like the entertainment when eating out with other parents and their (spoon fed) babies. There would be a little row of tidy efficient eaters, eating up their puree and then playing nicely with toys on their high chair or taking a nap while the adults ate their lunch... and then there'd be DS, chucking his share of my lunch, plus the supplementary finger food I'd brought specially for him, all around the place with gusto for the duration of lunch (but eating far less actual food than the puree-fed babies) while friends asked how we coped with the mess at home and were we worried whether he ate enough?

Occasional worries or social awkwardness aside, though, BLW was just so much easier. We mostly adapted our meals so that DS could share them (nothing more soul-destroying than cooking separately for a BLW baby only for none of it to be eaten by anyone!). A particular joy was food being social from the start - no having to feed the baby first, or separately. I read Carlos Gonzalez' book, "My Child Won't Eat" and learned to let got of worrying whether DS ate or not, and adopt the mantra "my job to provide a range of healthy food, his job to eat it or not", which was liberating too. And with hindsight I think there is a big element of frontloading the "practising for feeding yourself" stuff, so they're spending time on those skills very early, which of course means they get less actual food inside them than puree-fed babies in the first months - but once they really get with the programme around 10-12 months, they catch up very fast and of course you don't have to go through any sort of transition process from purees to lumps and from lumps to proper food and family meals. As a toddler and pre-schooler DS has always eaten well. He decided to be vegetarian as a pre-schooler (though the adults in our family aren't) for ethical reasons around not killing animals and he has stuck with that decision for 18 months and counting, which I think in large part flows from that early and ongoing sense of autonomy over his own food choices. So judging by DS there's really no need to worry if they're not eating very much at all in the early weeks and months.

Mesmeri · 21/10/2018 09:30

We did a mixture. Spoon fed soup etc to begin with, but also gave them plenty of finger food. Also, while the baby always joined in (in some form) at mealtimes, when they were less than a year I'd often put them in the highchair to watch me while I was cooking and give them small bits of raw veg which probably weren't going to get eaten but it worked well as entertainment.

Vinorosso74 · 21/10/2018 09:34

I did BLW with DD. Until she was about 8 months it was a bit up and down. I thinking days she may have been more hungry or tired etc so it did vary. We made sure at least one of us ate with her so she could copy.
Like all things with babies eating solid food is something else they need to Iearn so I would keep going.
My DD is nearly 9 now and has quite an appetite!

ferma · 21/10/2018 11:10

Thank you for the new replies!

@Ceara that's interesting that you started with the traditional approach and it was BLW that worked in the end. I was starting to think BLW wasn't working (so impatient) as babies around us were eating copious amounts off the spoon, and other mums in our NCT group were a bit sceptical about my approach. A practical question if I may - do you use chicken or veg stock in your cooking? We don't use much salt but do use some stock, not sure if that's ok for babies? I know I can leave it till the end, but that makes the food pretty bland in my experience... (think of a risotto with stock put in at the end!)

OP posts:
Ceara · 21/10/2018 11:50

Yes, I often used the Kallo very low salt stock cubes in cooking during weaning, as life far too short to make it from scratch. Also you can always add more seasoning or spice etc part way through cooking, having separated the baby's portion into another pan, if you want extra flavour.

I had sceptical NCT friends much like yours (and probably would have been a sceptic myself, if DS hadn't pushed us down the BLW path). Might be reassuring to know that two years on when the sceptical NCT friends had second babies to wean, a couple of them were picking my brains for BLW tips ;-)

FartnissEverbeans · 21/10/2018 21:23

BLW is a fad that only middle class mums on social media have even heard about. Everyone else does it the usual way - some puréed food, some spoonfed soft foods, some finger foods. They just don’t give it a silly name.

Weaning is one of these baby things that seems like a really big deal at the time but in a year you’ll have forgotten almost everything about it. It’s annoying and fiddly at the time but ultimately it doesn’t matter much.

Bear in mind that babies can become iron deficient at this age if they’re not getting enough from their diet. If you think your baby isn’t getting enough then maybe consider a supplement.

ferma · 21/10/2018 21:33

I agree BLW sounds a bit silly, but the idea behind it makes sense to me. I've never liked the idea of forcing a spoon into the baby's mouth, and it makes sense that you ought to learn to chew before learning to swallow.

We've done a mix today, including parsnip batons and stew by spoon. I'm sure it's not purist BLW, but I found DD liked to guide the spoon in (i.e. I didn't just push the spoon at her) and parsnip consumption was more effective when I helped her hold the batons.

OP posts:
brookshelley · 22/10/2018 03:24

I agree BLW is a fad. The idea that weaning in one special perfect way is going to create the perfect child when it comes to eating is fantasy. Some foods obviously go on a spoon - I've seen some hardcore BLW only give yoghurt if baby dips a piece of toast into it first. I mean, come on.

To go from a liquid only diet to chomping on a stalk of broccoli isn't easy. In my observation BLW babies take longer to go onto solids. We did a combo based on the food - some clearly make sense to hand to baby to eat, some clearly need a spoon or fork. Use your common sense and you'll be fine.

FartnissEverbeans · 22/10/2018 06:17

I've never liked the idea of forcing a spoon into the baby's mouth

Sorry, but what do you think other parents do? Do you really think everyone who doesn’t BLW is forcibly shoving spoonfuls of mush into their babies’ mouths? My son was desperate to try food from a spoon and was eating with a spoon himself when he was ten months old. There was nothing forceful about it!

BroomstickOfLove · 22/10/2018 06:34

I did BLW with both of mine. DC1 didn't really easy anything until she was 9 months old when she guzzled down a nectarine. DC2 was eating three meals a day at 6 months. DC1 just wasn't really ready for solids at 6 months.

Natsku · 22/10/2018 06:36

Milk provides all nutrients for the first 12 months

That's not true, milk (breastmilk - formula has iron added so its less of an issue with formula) does not provide enough iron or zinc so after 6 months it is needed from other sources (food or supplement)

OP - its quite normal for them to take awhile to get the hang of things with BLW but for some babies it can take too long for them to get the hang of it. I would give it a month if you want to stick with it, you should see improvement in that time but if no improvement then I would do mixed feeding because you don't want to risk anaemia (it affects brain development in babies), or just go straight to mixed feeding now.

ApolloandDaphne · 22/10/2018 07:08

In the olden days this was called 'feeding your baby'. Most people did mix of porridge, yogurt, purées, soups along with chunks of fruit, cooked veg and whatever the adults were having for dinner if appropriate. It's probably best to use your intuition and give your baby a mix of different sorts of food to see what they like.

ferma · 22/10/2018 08:06

Thank you @Natsku that's quite right, need to keep an eye on iron and zinc too! Sweet potato batons, lentils and chickpeas are all good sources.

OP posts:
Natsku · 22/10/2018 08:12

My baby hates lentils! - he will eat absolutely everything including spicy food but not lentils. I think it must be the texture, it's not pleasant. I mostly rely on meat for his iron intake, he loves it and its easily absorbed.

ferma · 22/10/2018 08:24

How old is yours? I'm not sure DD (6 months) is quite ready for meat yet - or have I perhaps underestimated her? - but I'm going to try some fish soon.

OP posts:
IHeartKingThistle · 22/10/2018 08:33

The BLW mums had me feeling guilty for using a spoon. Once I was told my baby 'shouldn't be eating anything they can't feed themselves'.

It's nonsense. They don't dress themselves, or bath themselves. It's OK to help them.

Shazafied · 22/10/2018 08:38

BLW is a fad that only middle class mums on social media have even heard about. Everyone else does it the usual way - some puréed food, some spoonfed soft foods, some finger foods. They just don’t give it a silly name.

....agree . Suggest offering some purée if BLW not working, it’s not going to do any harm. Some days my baby will take tonnes from a spoon, some days she prefers to feed herself. Subscribing to one side or the other seems silly, just do a bit of both.

Natsku · 22/10/2018 08:57

He's 8 months now but has been having meat since 5 months (in my country we're told to start weaning with fruit and veg once ready after 4 months and introduce meat and everything else after 5 months, though obviously not self-feeding before 6 months/sitting up).
Fish is a good one to start with because its so soft they can eat it much easier plus its an allergen so good to introduce as soon as possible.

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