Post natal anxiety/ depression

[Starlive23]

Has anybody has any experience of what actually happens if you go to see your GP and explain you think you might be struggling?

My mum seems to think if I go to the GP and explain I'm struggling with the anxiety, then social services will become involved. Is she worrying for nothing?

I understand there is a kind of stigma attached to PND but I've been struggling for 7 months and I think it's time for me to speak to someone professionally, but have no idea what to expect.

Any advice or reassurance would be very much appreciated.

No, social services would not become involved. I know loads of people who have had PND, have been to the GP and got help, and in no way is it any reflection on their ability to parent. If it was, half of the population would be referred to social services! Stop worrying and go to the doctor to get some help. 

Thank you @darcy. Logically, I know social services couldn't come and remove my child for no reason, but I'm very nervous about going to ask for help, and both my DM and DH seem to think it's going to be a 'red flag' on my records for life.

I just want to feel better and enjoy my time with my baby without all this crippling anxiety.

Social services will not get involved for asking for help with PND. I asked for help (sort of broke down actually) from my HV who got me an emergency appointment with the GP that day. My GP was absolutely wonderful, he was very understanding and just listened to me. I met with the perinatal mental health team and they were equally great (they even came out to me as I was too anxious at the time to go to the centre). I was put on a CBT course and setraline and I am so thankful that I asked for help as it just was such a huge weight off my shoulders even just telling someone. I was struggling the same as you for months and it just got to a point where I broke down. I still struggle some days but overall i am doing a lot better, it’s like a dark cloud has lifted and I am a much happier mummy. The help is there for a good reason, please try and make a doctors appointment or speak to your HV if you have one and go from there

@lana thank you, your story has just given me the reassurance I needed to make the appointment. I hope my experience is as positive as yours.

Appointment booked for next week. Locum GP but hopefully it will.go well. I am so nervous.

Wow, Lana's story totally is identical to mine!
HV, GP same day, sertraline (1 year now) and CBT (7 months).

Still a bit struggling with anxiety but depression has (almost) gone.

No one mentioned SS anywhere with me.

To be honest I think it was my mum's kind of old fashioned view of PND, I think in the 70s it was more taboo than today thankfully.

Glad to hear another positive story, makes me feel like I'm doing the right thing in asking for help. Hope it goes well. It's all very nerve wracking but I can't go on the way I have been. My anxiety is crippling and it's just robbing me of the joy of finally being a mum.

I have been to the GP twice after both children with PND. Been on anti depressants twice. To my knowledge social services weren't notified. No one from there ever spoke to me.

Obviously if the GP thinks that you are struggling in ways they can't help with they might refer you to social services or the health visitor. But even being referred to social services doesn't mean your kids will be taken away. A social worker would come and speak with you and see if they could offer you support.

So glad to read you’ve booked the appointment! Well done, the first step is done. It definitely is nerve wracking to start talking about it but honestly there is nothing to worry about. I was so pleasantly surprised at how helpful HV and GP both were. I really hope your able to get some help and start to feel better soon OP

Bless you .

SS will not get involved. Don't involve your mum! What you are feeling will pass - I promise you.

I struggled for 10 weeks with my now 3yr old. I screamed at him for crying and shut him in his room so I couldn't hear him I then came down and got into my then 13yr olds face screaming and shouting. I really frightened him and myself. I then went back up to baby and bit my own arm instead of picking him up and shaking him.
I phoned gp for an emergency appointment. They saw me within the hour discussed treatment (sertraline 50mg) and that was that. I've had follow up appointments but at no point we're ss involved.

Thank you so much for sharing your stories. I feel like a weight has been lifted just by making the appointment, I wish I'd done it sooner.

My DD is now 7 months old, I've struggled with terrible anxiety that something terrible is going to happen to her. Since she learned to roll over in the night at 3 months I have set an alarm to wake up every hour to turn her back over.

That's not all, but it's the gist of the problem. It's not depression in the sense that I'm unhappy...I'm the happiest I've ever been. We have wanted children for so long....it's just this absolutely awful terror which overrides everything.

I hope I can get something to help.

My experience is that I saw the nurse at the 6 week check and she referred me to my go urgent.

He then referred me for low level CBT and I got an appointment very fast as was within 1 year of having DS2. It didn't work and I was referred to high intensity. I then started to feel suicidal, returned to GP and went back on antidepressants. Still going to high intensity cbt and taking antidepressants now. In hindsight I should have taken them months ago before things got that bad.

At no point have social services ever been involved. My health visitor did come more often whilst I was super anxious but I think that was just more to put my mind at rest as I was convinced something was wrong with DS (there wasn't, he's fine).

Understand the anxiety thing, often depression and anxiety come hand in hand.

Although at 7 months if your baby rolls over I wouldn't be popping back in every hour to turn them over ❤️

God @OB0llocks you have been through the mill. Thanks so much for your response. I could well be depressed to be honest, I'm not even sure what I feel at times. I get awful intrusive thoughts and I have all these weird rituals which, whilst they don't actually harm anyone, I know aren't good for me or my mental health.

I read this one article about a baby who succumbed to SIDS at 9 months and have literally not slept a night since.

I should also say of course that I've spent the whole last 7 months trying to ignore these feelings and hope they go away on their own. They haven't, so I guess it's time to seek help.

Oh @Starlive23 honestly tell your GP and get yourself some cbt and maybe meds and you'll be right as rain before you know if.

I have weird rituals, I always have but they really intensified after my second was born. At one point I was checking my older DS, counting breaths etc for over an hour before I could go to bed. That's the point where I was just like 'this is fucking ridiculous'.

Something my CBT lady told me to think about was that I was giving my mind too much power. I convinced myself that if I didn't do 'x' then 'y' would happen. She said well if that's the case, then if you do 'y' then 'x' will happen. So something completely random like if you blink 3 times then a pen will fly off a desk etc. Although she did explain it a million times better than I just did 😂

My sister is a social worker and if you’d heard some of the situations in which children are allowed to stay with their parents you wouldn’t be worried about them taking away your baby.

@FartnissEverbeans a nurse once said this to me after the gp sent me and baby DS to the children's ward over a suspicious mark he had on his foot. I was petrified they'd think I'd done it and take him away (not that I jump to the worst conclusions or anything) I didn't calm down until she said actually they're worried about clotting issues, no concern for his safety at all

Turns out his amber anklet had slipped into his sock and he'd been jumping on it in his jumperoo!

So pleased to read you’ve booked an appointment. It took me four months to see my GP. I knew deep down the way I was feeling wasn’t right. I was so anxious, couldn’t sleep and felt so down. I was constantly questioning whether I loved my little boy and could only see darkness. My GP prescribed anti depressants which worked wonders for me. Don’t get me wrong I still have down days - but who doesn’t?! But now I feel like I can cope and there are far more ups than downs. Best of luck to you - things will get better xxx

Thanks again everyone for such support. I've spoken to DH and my mum and it took a bit of convincing but they are on board and once I convinced them I wasn't going to be carted off they have been supportive.

I feel a bit apprehensive about medication but am open minded. Anything is better than living with this amount of anxiety. It's absolutely burnt me out. It's almost like I'm scared to enjoy anything because I'm so scared and worried.

If I don't get help now I think I would regret it.

Well I went to the GP...she just told me that part of being a mum was to worry and that I need to think more positively. I'm a bit disappointed as I thought I might get some actual help but I must not be as bad as I thought I was.

I'm not really sure how to feel about it to be honest. I think I had geared myself up so much, it just all feels a bit underwhelming.

Can you speak to your HV OP? I found mine so helpful - she was much more informed about the signs of PND and PNA.

God, that sounds rubbish, I am really cross on your behalf.
Did she do any kind of questionnaire with you? maybe the Edinburgh postnatal test? You can find it online, take a look. When I took it it became blindingly obvious in black and white that things weren't going right.
The kind of anxiety you are describing isn't a normal part of being a mum, trust me.

No test, she just asked if I'd ever thought about harming myself, which I said I hadn't, and I explained how i had felt and she said to download Headspace, which I will give a try, but just felt like I'd been fobbed off