Cuddling baby to sleep????

[Willow4987]

Hi, at the moment by 9 week DS needs to be cuddled to sleep at night otherwise he wakes and won’t sleep in his bed

I don’t mind it at the moment as he’s so small but know that at some stage he can’t rely on my cuddling him to sleep eveynight

I’ve seen advice about putting them to bed sleepy but awake. I’ve tried this but he then makes himself fully awake and cry’s. I’ve tried shushing but he then has a full meltdown and the only way to stop it is to cuddle him to sleep

How do you manage to achieve the sleepy but awake trick and from roughly what age?

Have you tried swaddling? Mine were swaddled and put down awake, with me sort of shhh patting them a bit when they first lay down.

Well he has a sleeping bag at night as I wasn’t sure on swaddles because of the guidelines around togs for the room temperature etc. Can you get different tog ones?

Once he’s asleep he’s fine but he has to be properly asleep to be able to put him down

I had to cuddle DD2 to sleep till she was about 12 months, she self settles now she's 2 in her cot quite happily. We tried swaddles, sleeping aids all sorts, cuddles were the only thing that worked when she was small, though to be fair she used to wake up if you put her down at all. It's exhausting when they're tiny.

I swaddled with a giant muslin square. On warmer nights id just put a sleepsuit on, then add a bodysuit on cooler nights.

I’ve just had a quick look at the swaddles on mothercare and it says until 14lbs, which he really isn’t that far off (he’s tall and on the 91st percentile ). Might see if I can get some giant muslins to do the job

Oh he's still tiny and in the 4th trimester. Just cuddle him to sleep for now. 

Still cuddle to sleep at over a year. Won't be forever. She loves it. I love it (mostly). No idea how to go from here to the next stage though 🤷

Don't be sucked into this parenting trap (as I was!!!) Self soothing is utter bullshit for all but those rare angel babies until at least 3months and realistically I'd say 6months or older for consistent self soothing.

He's 9 weeks old, cuddle him as much as he needs, I regret not doing this chasing the almighty self soothe. My suggestion would be that in a month or so start to get into good consistent 'habits' such as dark quiet little interaction night times, trying to put him down for daytime naps himself (it probably wont work at that point but your starting to put the wheels in motion) pick him up and cuddle him if needed, he needs to know your there and feel secure. I found that naturally having these habits meant that when he was developmentally ready we had laid the foundations for him to be sleepy and drop off.

Honestly, just get through this first bit, enjoy him, you will not spoil him, enjoy the relaxing still cuddles as soon hell be trying to wiggle off your lap!

I did pick up put down with mine at this young age and it worked within a few days.

As soon as they get upset you pick up and cuddle them again put them down and repeat. So no letting them get upset!

My approach was baby learning it was ok to be awake in their cot and that they only had to squeak and I'd be there to scoop them up.

If you are happy cuddling up don't stress about it though.

I wouldn't even think about it until he's out of the 4th trimester which isn't until 3 months. I think from about 4 months babies start to get the hang of self-soothing but some take a lot longer. Don't rush it or stress about it, they all get there eventually

Ds is 6 months and can self-soothe in the night now but still needs to be cuddled to sleep to begin with. Naps are hit and miss

Hah. My 6 week old won’t sleep at night unless he’s in bed with me and has to feed to sleep. In the day I can put him down in the carrycot if he’s already fed and fast asleep or if I’m lucky, he might fall asleep on a walk. I figure he’ll settle on his own when he’s ready. 9 weeks is still so tiny, I can’t imagine being able to just put such a little baby down and expect them to sleep.

Tbh today I’d just like DS to sleep at all! He’s barely napped all day and is overtired and crabby and I’m still struggling to get him to go to sleep now! Here’s hoping it’s a quick growth spurt or a 24 hour blip and not a new phase.

It’s fine cuddle to sleep for now and enjoy it!! I did with my two and at about 6 months with both they seemed to be developmentally ready to self soothe in cot.

So at 6 months I just made the cuddling shorter so they were relaxed but not asleep and then I placed them into cot and sat next to it and put my hand on chest until they dropped off (took ages first time and was mild fussing and arm waving and if they cried I’d pick up and put down but every nap the time taken and picking back up got less). Then I put them in cot but didn’t put hand on them for very long but stayed sat next to them till they dropped off, then once that started working really quickly I moved further away from cot, and then finally I was able to put them into cot then stroke their head and just walk out.. took a couple of weeks to get there but no crying involved.

But honestly don’t panic till baby is much older,I think they like the closeness as makes them feel secure. Once they are older they are way less clingy.

I did it until about a year, well they fell asleep with us reading beside them by the end - don't particularly recommend it, they both cried to come into bed with us and we gave in, that said they grow quickly and it's only a short time in the scheme of things

Thanks everyone! Im happy to enjoy the cuddles for longer so it’s good to know I’m not damaging his sleep routine by not putting him down yet

Do whatever you can to get the most amount of sleep you can.
If he falls asleep in your arms and then accepts the transfer into his cot and sleeps a decent amount of time there then you’re doing pretty well, don’t do anything to mess with that!

Mine is cuddled to sleep at nearly 11 months. If she wakes in the night she mostly has a little whinge then goes back to sleep, but that's since going in her own room. Occasionally she wakes and needs feeding. I happy to cuddle her as much as she needs as I know it won't be forever.

I am concerned that at home she only naps on me, while I enjoy the downtime and cuddles, I am getting worried for nursery.

They are young for a short that. It won't do any harm.

Just keep doing what you’re doing. He’ll outgrow it eventually and you’ll figure out something else that works. In the meantime, make the most of having an easy trick for getting him to sleep. When they’re older and running around and shouting demands at bedtime, it’s not so easy (no matter what you did in the early days), so just do what works and make the most of some extra sleep now.

I did this with both of mine (now strapping teenagers). First I fed them to sleep on a double bed and moved into basket when sound asleep. Then we moved into putting in a cot and holding their hand plus musical box playing at about 4-5 months ish.

We rarely had bedtimes tantrums as they got older and they have both been great sleepers. I think it makes them feel safe and secure to go to sleep at night.

Don't worry - when you are setting out at midnight to pick them up from a party 16 years later you will look back on that half an hour spent cuddling them every day with affection.

We had all sorts of sleep associations- cuddling, lullabies, feeding to sleep, rocking etc. You can remove them fairly easily when you and baby are ready.
What I found useful is giving my baby at comforter at around 4 months he attached himself to a little bunny put into cot. He still sucks on his ears and arms to help him sleep at 9 months. 😍Yes, it is against safe sleeping advice but baby seemed to be able to move head around easily etc and he was in room til 8 months.

Despite all these sleep associations, and even though baby was a terrible sleeper, he’s been sleeping 12 hours (apart from the odd night) for around 2 months now. And very occasionally I will revert to an old sleep assiciation or try a new one to settle him to sleep- such as stroking or patting. He’s still fine.

I say ignore these comments about creating bad sleep habits, they’re habits that can be undone.

As Pp mentioned, self settling will happen, but not until after 6 months. My baby is very good at it now- hence why he can sleep through the night. And although I thought he was doing it at 6 weeks to get to sleep initially, that lovely phase lasted a month. He was still wKing in the night tho and staying awake too!

Oh and my baby spent first three months on my bed next to me whilst bloke was in settee downstairs. Moved into big cot at three months and took to it straight away- despite sleeping next to me all those weeks.