Do you go to soft play with your little ones?

[bubbles092]

Today was my first day going soft play as it is 10 miles from where I live and there's no where else that do it near me but I took the plunge and drove there and I never felt so out of place.

All of the parents was talking to each other and having lunch together whilst all their children played and I was sitting by myself and following my DS who is 2 around the area. I did try and chat to a couple of mums but one of them just laughed about the fact my DS and her DD bumped into each other but she looked like she just wanted to walk away and the other one just looked at me like she wanted to kill me and my son because my DS pushed her DS cos they wanted the microwave in the kitchen play area (they looked the same age) and I did tell my DS off for this and said what he did was unkind and to say sorry, but obviously her DS must be so perfect she was not interested.

I just wanted someone to talk to and just have something in common with. I have a "friend" who just works all the time and so her Mum looks after her DD, and another friend who has no children... I have nobody else I can really talk to. I've tried making an effort but nobody is interested :(

I want to go again as my DS really enjoyed it but what do I do? How do I not feel so out of place! I might go earlier so that it is more quiet.  any ideas?! I really feel so lonely sometimes.

Soft play is hell. It’s not the sort of place you really go to meet people. What about an activity or group your dc would enjoy? You’re much more likely to meet people there and form lasting relationships. I’d rather chew off my own foot than go to soft play, tbh.

Do you have any other parent friends you could arrange to go with?

Baby groups are a bit like first starting at a new school mid way through the year. You have to try to put yourself out there and try to talk to people. It will take time. Maybe other kid groups would be best to meet new mums as those at soft play have likely met before and arrange play dates there.

You need to go to some kid classes and get together in your area to meet new parents, form friendships and start arranging to meet for coffee leading to eventually meet at soft play.

It's hard and like being new to everything but it gets easier.

Good luck

I think toddler groups are better for making friends. I only go to soft play if arranged with a group of friends or for a party- I don't think it's a making friends kind of place.

Personally I have made friends at local church/ library/ community centre kind of groups.

Yeah I don't think many parents take their children to soft play by themselves - I go once or twice a week but always with a friend or two. So it's not the kind of place people expect to make friends with other mum's.

There's nothing wrong with going by yourself and just following your LO around though

I often take mine by myself, but they’re a bit older now and need less supervision (don’t need following around) so I’m happy just watching them and drinking coffee. It’s definitely not the sort of place people go to make friends!

I have been doing soft play for 16 years!
Eldest son is 16 now, middle is 7 and youngest is 3.
Sometimes I meet friends at soft play but I often take youngest ds on my own in the week as a lot of my friends are all back at work now or there kids are all at full time school.
If I'm on my own I do play a bit with ds but I also let him go off and play while I grab a coffee and a bit of time out.
I often take both the younger ones on a weekend on my own if dh is working.
For meeting people playgroups are often a bit better or little music groups.
I also made a couple of good friends at our local library who do mum and baby sing and story sessions.

A toddler group where you pay for a block of sessions is better. I've made a friend at a music group I take my 2yo to.
Never made any friends at village hall type groups either, they seem to already all be in friend groups.
No-one goes to soft play to make friends.
Have you tried the Mush meet app?

Get mush and mummy social apps on your phone! It's like dating for mums. I have made several very good friends through those apps.

Did you check out whether the soft play does any sessions - craft, music, movement or anything? You are more likely to be 'sat' down with other people then. As others have said though hard places to make friends. When ours were older we used them when we desperate to get a bit of work done via the WiFi - & so did lots of others - or as a place to met for coffee. We were not being intentionally unsociable but it was an ideal chance to have a minute.

Thank you to each and every one of you that has responded! Really appreciate it. A while ago, I did look for a toddler group which only ran every half term but now I've looked again, they are running every week and only off during half term so that's really helpful! And it's only 5 miles up the road from me so that's even better and £2 entry instead of the £7 I had to pay for at soft play! Thank you ladies. I will be checking that one out next time :) does seem more friendly... we shall see. I know I am not going to be able to click with everyone but just a chat and a cup of tea would make me happy! I've not tried Mush(?), I will look into that. X

As others have said, making friends at regular groups will be better - hopefully you really enjoy this new group you have found. Keep chatting and don't be put off, often it can take at least 3 or 4 sessions to find the ones you click with and not feel awkward.
Re. what a pp said about village hall type groups - I think it can just seem that way in a group of regulars, I felt like that at first but kept going for DS and eventually indeed became one of said regulars.
We do lots of groups through the week and go to soft play at the weekend, I follow DS around by choice (14 months) and as soon as he is old enough for me to supervise from afar with a coffee I'll be doing exactly that!

Remember, people using both of the apps actively are looking for friends. Even if you don't click with them, at least you've got out of the house and probably tired the DC out!