Shouty mum

[penguinseatfish]

My ds is 4 and has told me I shout at him a lot. I looked to my partner who agreed. Now, I need to point out this isn't in an abusive way, my partner knows I'm a good mum and love my son dearly as does my son (at least I think so!!) but ds pushes my buttons sometimes and I end up shouting which isn't ideal but it's also the only thing that makes him listen. I do 98% of the parenting with no help or input (not a moan but just pointing out how much exposure I have of him!) So it's nothing major but things like I brush his teeth before bed and he'll jiggle about singing and making it difficult for me and I end up shouting at him to stand still. He mucks about at the dinner table, I end up shouting to sit still nicely, I put his school uniform on or ask him to and he's silly. I'd like to find another way to get him to listen without the shouting. Any ideas?

By now it’s probably become habit and you may need CBT to develop strategies to overcome it. It’s also possible your DS has gotten so used to the shouting he needs it to listen to you. Relate may be able to help get you the right point of contact.

I had a very angry and shouty Mum, it’s good that you’ve realised you’re doing it but yiu seem to be justifying the shouting a lot. We all shout sometimes, but if it’s constantly, you definitely need to change and not justify.

Could you just be expecting too much of him too? Little boys do mess around. If you’re cleaning teeth, try making silly noises as you do it. So some teeth quack and some teeth bark as you brush them and make it funny.

If he jiggles at the dinner table is that something you can’t ignore? Does he eat his dinner?

If you are trying to get him dressed, do you offer him something? Mine can watch the telly once they’re ready for school. You’d be surprised how much that can speed the process up

This book might help too.

Did you know that 4 years can be a classic time for PND? Did you have a traumatic birth by any chance too?