12 week old won't sleep - HELP!

[RoseWrites]

I know she's little and it's probably a phase, but my 12 week old DD is not sleeping and it's turned her from a happy baby to an over tired screaming red faced sad little thing.

Up until about 10 weeks she slept at night from 10pm to 8pm with 2 feeds. She napped in the day in the pram, car, sling or on me. She won't be put down so i cuddle her during naps/take her out - I've just been going with it whilst she's so small.

She's now 12 weeks and over the past 2 weeks she has been resisting naps and bed time. She refuses to go to bed before 10pm (sometimes 11.45pm) despite obviously being tired. I have sat with her in a dark room for HOURS feeding and walking around and nothing makes her stay asleep. She might cat nap for 10 minutes but wakes instantly if you put her down. Even though she is sleepy she screams and fuses for HOURS before eventually being fed to sleep.

Once in her cot at night she wakes every 45 minutes, or an hour. At best she will sleep for 2 hours in a row. When she is "asleep" she wriggles and grunts until she shouts to be picked up again. I try to soothe her and then feed her back to sleep. She seems hungry and quickly settles in her cot after a feed. But then 45 - 90 minutes she's awake again

During the day she feeds loads and whenever she looks hungry (She's EBF). I'm not forcing a routine on her but she has roughly fallen into a wake, feed, play, feed, sleep pattern. But only sleeps on me, in the car or pram. If i put her down when she's asleep she instantly wakes up.

I have tried putting her down in the cot whilst she is yawning. She happily kicks her legs about for 5 or 10 minutes and then starts crying. She is never even close to falling asleep! I've held her hand and stroked her face for a minute but she gets more and more upset so i pick her up. I don't believe in letting such a tiny baby cry.

I know she needs more sleep (and so do I) so i took her up to our room for a nap this afternoon. She usually likes to cuddle in and feed and doze. Today she fed and then when she had finished she cried. She eventually fell asleep. Every time I tried to put her in her cot she went MENTAL. Within seconds her crying became a choking scream. I instantly picked her up, soothed her and the scenario would repeat. That's gone on for 2 hours so I've now given up and she's sleeping on me. I won't get any sleep now but at least she's getting some

Sorry for the essay but I don't know what to do...

Is it a phase? Sleep regression? Bad parenting?! Please help if you can!

I’ve been saying the same about my almost 7 week old. She just does not nap in the day, aparet from in the pram or in the car. She’s yawning her head away but nothing sends her to sleep..she’s just awake all the time. And I normally spend 8-11 at night trying to get her down. I used to go up at 10/11 but it was the same scenario meaning we’d sleep even later! My little one has got into a feed poo cry cycle..by the time she’s finnaly dosing off after getting upset at the fact she doesn’t need to sleep (she obviously does!) it’s feed then poo time again..

Maybe they’re just too young at this age to be able to nap or sleep properly (I’ve no idea - just a guess!) or maybe it’s a phase?

Sorry I’m not much help..but I feel your pain! I’m sure it’ll get better soon :)

@cj1990 I'm sorry you're in the same boat!

The rational part of me knows it's just a phase and that she's so small she probably doesn't know how to deal with tiredness. My mum loves to tell me that I wss the same at her age and would not be put down and was constantly wanting to be fed. I obviously don't need carrying around now or to be fed to sleep (!) she should grow out of it too.

But when I've had no sleep and I'm facing another night of screaming, pacing, crying etc, I feel much less rational! :)

It is hard! I’ve been getting upset as I keep feeling like a bad Mum that can’t settle her baby or get her to sleep! But like you say, I think that’s the irrational part of me that’s had no sleep!! I forget that she’s so young and I can’t expect her to have any sort of schedule or nap times. :)

I was reading about the 4 month sleep regression and it can start anywhere from 8 weeks onwards apparently. Perhaps this is what you're experiencing? I'm sorry I can't be of any help. My LO is 3 months old and isn't great at going down for naps but seems to still be sleeping ok at night. Good luck! Hope it turns around for you soon 

Dorabean thank you :)

She was fab at sleeping during the night until 10 weeks and then BAM she suddenly fusses all evening, wakes constantl at night, and now resists naps too.

I took her to a cranial osteopath last week and that's helped the evening fussiness buy the sleeping is no better and is possibly getting worse.

As she was fine before, I'm hoping it's a phase/temporary sleep regression... here's to hoping!

@RoseWrites I have everything crossed for you! If she's going through it now then perhaps it's good to get it out of the way, IYSWIM! I hope my LO doesn't become bad, I bet it was a huge shock? Here's to hoping it doesn't last too much longer for you!

Thanks @Dorabean! I just keep telling myself that it can't last forever... it can't. Can it?!

Surely not.... 🤞🏼

Have you tried swaddling? I had to introduce swaddling around that age and it worked amazingly (for a short while anyway, often wish I could still swaddle my 2 year old when he's fighting sleep!)

I just say on my living room with baby on knee and a glass of wine in my handwatching TV until they'd feed enough and seemed to be zonked out.

10pm ish sounds about right.

It got earlier gradually...

All 3 were a wee bit different, but I still did a lot of the above of and on when they wouldn't settle. I can confirm that all 3 can go to sleep fine now 👍

*sat in my living room
*On and off

Proof read fail.

And strikeout fail.

@Galvantula good to hear that yours were the same :) I seem to be surrounded by people telling me she should be in bed at 7 or 8 at the latest. She is much happier (and so am I!) chilling on the sofa with wine and chocolate before bed. I need to ignore the advice and go with my baby!

It's partly laziness but also it's quite nice just to cuddle them

Mine are still all under ten and the smallest just out of being a toddler, but they're very big and clamber all over me for cuddles now. 😄 not quite so comfortable.

The bedtime routine developed more gradually for us. Once they're bigger we do PJ's and teeth (where appropriate!) A quick story, then bf to sleep usually. As they got older we tried to swap the bf and story round. It sort of worked.

I stressed about it a lot with my first, but the next two spent a lot of time being bf while I read the story to the older ones etc so had to go with the flow a bit.

I did have somewhere in the living room to put them down at intervals, the carry cot from the pram at first I think. They just went up to bed when we did.

DS3 did this, and I just ended up cosleeping, saved a lot of pain (though appreciate it's not for everyone). It was also about this time that I find they often need a longer time awake before bed time to ensure that their longest sleep is at the start of the night. Like you say though, she's still tiny and it could all be a phase and change tomorrow.

Same as my little boy 12 weeks today. Remember at 3 months they again have a major growth spurt, that may be why sleep has gone out the window the past week or so. He's put on 11oz in a week! We go up to bed around 10/10.30/11 at the most. Last feed of the night and he sleeps through till 5.30/6 not the best but I can live on 6 hours sleep lol.