What is wrong with my baby? Please help.

[Summerbabygirl]

Hi,

I have posted before about colic/ reflux but my baby is nearly 15 weeks old now and I just don’t know what is wrong with her.

She screams in pain all the time. She won’t go in the pram/sling/ car seat so I am basically a hostage in my own home. She is inconsolable for hours.

I have tried infacol, gripe water, gaviscon, ranitidine, cranial osteopathy. Given up dairy/ caffeine. Been to the doctor several times and have another appointment today but they will probably fob us off again.

Nothing helps. I’ve stopped going out with my NCT group because no one else has these problems. I’m heartbroken for her. I have failed. I get a few smiles each day which are beautiful and some days I feel she is improving but then it starts again and we are back to square one.

Sounds really tough. You have 100% not failed. Babies are really, really hard work and you are being a good parent because you are trying your best to help your baby. I know how hard I found the early days with my first baby and all I can say is that it is a distant memory now. I really hope that you find something that works really soon, and in the meantime, have you got anyone who can babysit so that you can just have an hour to yourself? I know that just having a bit of time to have a bath used to be something that I really looked forward to during the difficult colicy days. For your baby, I found that white noise worked really well for my son (this link in particular . Worth a shot, but all babies are different. It could also be worth asking the Dr if you can give some calpol for pain (it isn't recommended on the bottle so def don't do so without Dr's advice), as my Dr advised me to give a specific amount at certain times to my son before he was 3mths old and it really helped.

I feel your pain as my DS is the same age. Have you checked to tongue/lip tie? I'm convinced that's the problem we have so currently battling to get it sorted.

This is no grand solution but have you tried her with a dummy. It's been a life saver for me as we do have some calm in the house while he sucks away at it. Apparently the saliva it produces eases the pain. Also try loosening her nappy and avoid clothes with a waistband as I irritates the gut. My DS is strictly in sleepsuit and dungarees.

Thank you chocolate I have tried white noise but will use that one when she next wakes up. I’ll also ask the doctor about giving calpol. My husband is great but she will only really settle with me sometimes so if I hear her crying (it’s not normal crying it’s hysterical) I end up jumping in. I’ve stopped inviting my Mum round because she just makes me feel bad about myself, she actually compared my baby to her cousin who ‘isn’t like that’.

FTM, I asked the midwife about tougue tie in the early days and she said it looked fine. I’ll get the doctor to check again though. We have tried dummies, she doesn’t know what to do with it just spits it out- have persevered quite a lot with it but she will take it but not hold on to it. I gave up on pretty dresses and tights a while ago but will definitely make sure her nappy isn’t too tight. Thank you x

It could be worth finding a ibclc registered lactation consultant to check for tongue tie. Midwife and health visitor missed my sons. No idea if that's it but might at least put that idea to rest if checked properly.

You absolutely have not failed and people making comments are quite frankly cruel. All babies are different, it's no ones fault. You've got one who is a bit more difficult right now, that's all.

Yes, definitely get a professional to recgecl for tongue tie and get them to look out for a lip tie too.
If you haven't already, try the flatter dummies that are similar to the nipple rather than the rounded one's.
P.s. meant to say my DS is the same age and has reflux. I feel your pain. I too am at my wits end.
Have you tried to get a referral to a paediatrician? I'm not saying they're particularly useful but you might have a better experience. You can see my post in the children's health section where I ask about second opinions on my paediatric appointment. There are some good suggestions there.

Thanks again FTM. We actually saw a good doctor today and he is going to speak to the consultant for us. So we may get a referral! He is still saying colic though...

I’ll look over at your post. Im sorry you’re going through this too! I hope in a few months time it will all be over, I’m just worried it’s something more serious.

I had a terrible first 3 months with my DD, who is my second. She cried all the time, I couldn't leave the house with her either. It really got me down and caused huge issues with the wider family too. I was exclusively breastfeeding, she latched on just fine, I was really proud and intent on continuing to breastfeed her since my first one hadn't managed to latch (and was in fact diagnosed with tongue tie 2 years later) and I had had to go to bottles at 10 weeks. I got sick from the stress and ended up giving her formula, and after a bit of initial tummy ache she was so much better. I think I just didn't have enough milk. I know that breast is best but that is when all else is equal. This is my personal experience and I'm so relieved I found a way through it for her, even if it wasn't what I wanted.

Threet how long did you try formula for before you saw an improvement? I tried to give one feed of aptimil but she wouldn’t take much and seemed worse after. I’m not opposed to formula but think it may make things worse as breastfeeding is the only way I can sometimes settle her when she is distressed, it’s easier in the night too.

I am worried my supply is low, I am going to start expressing again to increase it. Weight gain was 6oz in a week so she is gaining weight but is slightly under the line now.

This sounds so so hard. Babies are tough enough without having to deal with constant screaming. Have you tried skin to skin? Does that settle her at all? It may also increase your supply if you’re worried about that. Maybe run a warm bath and jump in with her to see if the warmth and being next to you help?
I don’t have any experience so can’t offer much help but just wanted to offer some sympathy. Sounds so tough but it will pass.

One of my babies developed a problem with dairy after one of the rounds of immunisations. Both got very bad diarrhoea (odd colour) but one also started vomiting. I cut out all dairy and it stopped. If I had any milk or dairy she would vomit. She didn’t seem to be in pain and she grew out of it at about 18 months.

Sorry posted too soon. It may be completely unrelated but may be worth checking. Can you remember when it started?

Extract from bnf.nice.org.uk/drug/rotavirus-vaccine.html

For ROTAVIRUS VACCINE

Uncommon

Abdominal pain; gastrointestinal disorders

Frequency not known

Apnoea; gastroenteritis; haematochezia

Very rare apparently but I presume the gp checked for this:

www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vpd/rotavirus/about-intussusception.html

Totally at the level of old wives' tale here, OP. Because I am old and not a doctor, but when my dbro was a baby he cried constantly for about three months and the doctor recommended some spoonfuls of buttermilk. Apparently he was better in under two days.

Please don’t think you’ve failed, it’s ansolutely not true. And ‘colic’ just means unexplained crying so I suppose the doctor is right, at least until another cause is found. Keeping pushing for a referral to a consultant but I agree with a PP that it doesn’t sound much like CMPA. Discuss with your HV but in your circumstances I’d seriously consider introducing some formula, if nothing else it means you can get a proper break whilst your DH or your Mum looks after her.

You havent failed at all!!
It is worth getting all the professional advice you can and for your baby to be checked for everything....
But sadly sometimes some babies do just seem to cry all the time for no reason in the first months!
Ive been quite lucky with both of mine... but my close friend had a terrible time with her second.... no physical issues with him that anyone could find but he just screamed constantly for about the first six months of his life! Shes a great mum too and her first wasnt like that at all... it was really hard for her. He did settle down after about six month. Hes three now and is still quite emotionally sensitive. She thinks that he was always just very sensitive to things and thats why he cried all the time.

I hope you get some answers or that your baby starts to settle down soon. Please dont blame yourself you are doing all the right things.

Tongue tie and/or food intolerances would be my bet. Even if you have cut out dairy, this may not be enough if she has multiple intolerances. Dairy, gluten, soy and egg are the foods most likely to cause problems (it could be all four....), but it could be lots of other foods too. My DD is intolerant to gluten, cow's milk protein, soy and loads of fruit and veg. We didn't get to the bottom of this until weaning, though I knew there was something when we went dairy free and, although there was improvement, there were still issues. You need to get her in front of the paediatrician ASAP.

@summerbabygirl re your question on formula I tried aptamil and it didn't go well. She is now on Hipp Organic as I read it is gentler on tummies and she is thriving. She struggled with the milk flow from the bottles at first but within a week she was so much happier. I struggled to get my hands on it at the supermarkets but you can order direct from their website. I also use Mam bottles, but I think most of them are the same. The health visitor also taught me to feed her sitting upright and with a horizontal bottle to slow the feeding down.

Hi OP sorry you are going through a tough time.
My DS was exactly the same until I switched from BF to aptamil colic and constipation formula at 11 weeks old. I stopped BF completely (was a tough decision but I was at my wits end) and within three days the inconsolable crying stopped. The hardest part about starting the formula was that I knew I couldn't bf alongside it and I didn't want to find that the formula didn't work and then my milk to dry up - I suppose the only way round this is to pump.
I really hope you find something that works for you, I know how frustrating it can be when the HVs and doctors won't listen to you. Good luck xx

I think the aptimal formula was called comfort formula for colic and constipation xx

You have not failed, you are doing brilliantly. Your mum sounds spectacularly unhelpful.

My DC1 was not dissimilar. In her case she had an issue with cows milk. She improved once I had been dairy free for just over three weeks (I think it took that long for my breast milk to be totally clear of whatever was bothering her).

I’m currently BF DC2 but at the start my supply was low, he cried a lot and I was struggling so on HV advice we ended up topping up a little after each breastfeed (if you do have to do this it isn’t the end of breastfeeding if you want to keep going - we had to do it for 3/4 weeks but once he was gaining steadily were able to phase it out and he is now EBF). DC2 went ballistic/refused if offered cow and gate (and the HV told me that aptamil is the same stuff just different packaging). Got on fine with Hipp organic.

Congratulations on your baby, isn't parenting fun sounds like you are doing brilliantly!!! My ds1 was similar but I recall he naturally improved around 16 weeks, but before that I was a wreck!

My ds1 had a dairy allergy which stays in the system a couple of weeks.

Some bottles can worsen the symptoms of colic as can some formulas, many of which make claims whuch don't stand up to scrutiny, however if you have found a formula which works, brilliant and mixed feeding will give you some room to think and recover for the last few weeks!

Op I'm sorry to hear this, it's such a hard stage!!
My son was very similar but with nothing obviously wrong with him. I also was at my wits end and in the end took him to a cranial osteopath which really helped - 4 sessions and he was a cooing smiling boy 24/7. I still don't exactly know how it works and think it's all a bit woo woo but it did help us.
Sending hugs, whatever the problem is it won't last forever and you'll be through this stage soon 

Have you seen a good breastfeeding advisor. They will look at things like tongue tie. Also whether there are changes you could make to positioning and latch. That might mean she 'gulps' less air whilst feeding and also gets more of the high calorie thicker milk that comes later in the feed. They will be able to talk to you about your feeding patterns and ways to increase your supply.

It's some time ago now, but the Comfort formula with colief drops helped a little for DD

we also used mam bottles which seemed to have a slightly firmer and flatter teat.

In reality DD was just a very poor "eater" and would be constantly hungry but refuse to take enough milk (breast or bottle). She was a terrible eater until about age 6.

I now think she just didn't like milk! She still hates it now.

You are doing everything you can and it WILL get better

It's so so hard. Lots of babies that are intolerant to dairy are also intolerant to soy, which is snuck into a lot of processed food like bread. DD's soya allergy was far worse than the dairy so might be worth trying to eliminate that too. Hang on in there. It gets easier