Sleepover personnel

[Aspire2Iron]

Hi MN, please save me from overthinking this.

I have 4 DC (ages 10, 8, 5, 3). My friend has 3 (ages 9, 5, 1). Our families are good friends. Friend’s 5 year old DD invited my eldest DD, age 10, over for a sleepover to celebrate her birthday. I’m a bit befuddled by this invitation. Her 5yo DD had been best friends with my 5yo DS. But she’s recently taken a liking to my eldest so here we are.

We are family friends. When we get together, it’s usually all of us. Now just one of the kiddos is being invited over, and I might understand that if it were the two eldest. But this seems an odd pairing? I’m sad on behalf of the rest of my kiddos, and TBH I’m annoyed bc she is having another birthday celebration for the same DD two days before — and one that will require a long drive for us.

Truthfully, I feel like just saying no to the sleepover. But they are good friends to us, and even though this is unusual to me, and would cause familial strife, it would really make her DD happy so maybe I should just say yes and hope for the best?

Blah. I feel torn.

Just say no. It sounds like she's completely pandered to a small child's request which was silly of her.

Of course a 5 year old would LIKE a 10 year old best friend but that will not be much fun for your child at all. She'll be like a glorified babysitter.

Just say "Aw thank you for the sweet invitation...DD is flattered but doesn't really want to go because her smaller siblings feel jealous."

Or similar.

I think you can decline the invitation. I agree with pp that this is something the parent should have said no to when their DC requested it. However close your families are it's odd to encourage a particular friendship between your 10 year old and their 5 year old particularly when you have your own 5 year old who will be missing out.

Out of interest, would you 10 year old want to go? I suppose if they really did then it should be considered.

Thanks for your replies! Really helpful.

Are your 10 year old and her 9 year old close? Is it a token invite so that the older one has a friend there too? I think it’s fine just to say you don’t think it will work, especially with you also traveling for the other party, but thanks for the invite. I think maybe they thought it would be nice to extend an invitation but it’s okay to say no and not be too weird about it.