Struggling with breastfeeding

[Alicia870]

My baby is 11 days old and I've exclusively breastfed from the start. It's my first baby so I feel like i don't have a clue what I'm doing. I feel so exhausted as it's so constant and I'm finding it such hard work. I feel so bad because I feel so guilty as I haven't had any major issues with her latch and she is gaining weight and doing well.
I know it's the best thing for her so the thought of stopping makes me feel so guilty but I feel like I can't fully enjoy her as I just dread feeding. It seems to take so long and so much of the time she still never seems satisfied so it makes me hate the whole process. I can't stop thinking how much easier formula feeding would be! Anyone else gone through this?

Probably every woman who has ever breast fed! The first few weeks are tough op, frequent feeds, long feeds, cluster feeds etc. I really didn't want to ebf so introduced a single formula feed a day from around 11-12 day, is this something you might consider? Have you though of a dummy? If you don't want to give any f, do be reassured that this won't last forever, feeds will spread out and your baby will become more efficient. In my experience (2 mix fed babies but mix fed in different ways)bf is much easier, especially when out and about because you don't have to worry about having enough bottles, formula, hot water etc.

I would definitely consider combination feeding. I'm just a bit lost with how to start it up. Do you have to pump every time u give a bottle of formula to keep supply up? If so this makes me think what's the point as that's so unenjoyable too 🙈 I have been using some expressed milk to top up some of the night feeds but again I really hate the pumping!

My LO is almost 3 months old and this was me for the first 8 or so weeks! BF is such hard work and if you decide to do it and are able to you really have to push through those first few weeks. I considered stopping on so many occasions and felt so down about it but one day it all changed for me. Feeding does become quicker and more enjoyable. I’m still EBF my little boy and couldn’t be happier that I stuck with it. That said do not put too much pressure on yourself, if you’re miserable doing it and feel that formula would be better than go for it, however if you want to persevere then believe me it gets so much easier very soon. Good luck x

Hang in there. Breastfeeding is a front loaded investment. The first month (and first 2 weeks especially) are really hard. It will not always be like this. I had a really easy time with my bf baby and it was still really tough the first 2-3 weeks. But at 11 days, assuming things are going well, you’re nearly through the hard bit. By 3-4 weeks, I felt like I finally got the hang of it and everything was getting easier.

In terms of what’s easiest in the long run, I’ve had one who was ff and one who was bf. Past those few tough early weeks, bf has actually been by far easier and less of a faff than formula. All the washing and sterilising with bottles is a pain as is getting up in the night to heat up bottles. I get far more sleep with my bf baby because I can feed him and get straight back to sleep. It’s hard to imagine that now, but hang in there, it will get easier. And make the most of all the time just sitting and feeding. I would die for just an hour a day to sit down and read now like I used to at every feed. Now it’s 5 minutes a few times a day and we’re off again and I miss that time to myself.

It does get easier. It’s s decision that only you can make and there are no right or wrong choices. 11 days is still so very early on. You should perhaps wait another week or so because it does get better. I know how difficult it can be. Breast fed all children until they were around 6 months old then gave them cup with formula. I had mastitis with 3rd which was horrendous. I persevered. The pain was worse than labour itself but it did get better. When you get over the hurdle it might even be easier than bottle feeding. No getting up in night to sterilise mix feeds etc but it’s so difficult in this early days when you are feeding every hour or so including during the night so no one else is letting you catch up but you need to do what’s right for you

Hang in there! Early days BF sucks (pun intended). You’ll thank yourself when you are a month or two in and have well established feeding and can feed baby in 5mins on the boob. Just try to be proud that you are successfully BF and realise that feeding is mostly all newborns want to do anyway so you are doing great.

Solidarity, OP. Our little boy is 16 days old and EBF. I've thought about quitting every day this week. I'm going to try and stick with it because firstly, I was unable to bf our first daughter and it was a real source of sadness to me. Secondly, everyone says it gets easier in a few weeks time, and I worry I'd regret the decision in time. Finally, I can just see he's happy and thriving - it's me who's having a tough time. I figure I need to grow up and shoulder the responsibility maturely. Easier said than done. I find the whole process claustrophobic and demanding for big chunks of the day. But there are such sweet, cuddly feeds too...

Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide and thanks for posting. You've made me feel less alone and selfish tonight. Sending you a big hug x

PS - he's on the boob right now having been cluster feeding since 3pm.

Yes, I remember being where you are .... it is so hard in the beginning. I have always been pro breastfeeding and thought I was prepared for how hard it would be the second time round but I still felt how you feel. I was tired, had enough and wanted to quit every single day. But what kept me going was the knowledge that it would get easier. One thing that really helped me to stick with it was a friend who told me to put three marks on the calendar or diary - 2 weeks, 4 weeks and 6 weeks. At each of these points it became a little easier and once you reach 6 weeks you will have come so far and hopefully feel more positive about continuing. Congratulations on your little one - I hope things settle down for you really quickly and that you are able to enjoy it.

I never pumped op, from around 10-11 days old we gave her a tiny (1-2oz)of formula at 10-10.30 ish, this meant that I could get an early night and dp could do that feed. I just bf all of the rest of the time. At 6 months old she had a proper bedtime (first 6 months she was downstairs with us until we went to bed)and we moved the f to 7.30. I felt that bf was pretty well established by 2 weeks and knew that I absolutely did not want to ebf so I was eager to try her with a bottle and some f. Not sure if it affected my supply, I suppose it might have affected it at that particular time of day but I bf her the rest of the time fine and a couple of times we forgot to make the bottle up I bf her instead.

At 11 days old her stomach is tiny so whether you breastfeed or formula feed she can only take tiny amounts at a time. In a few weeks time she will be able to take more in one feed. What you are describing is cluster feeding. It is normal but it is so hard. It just feels like you are feeding all the time.

My baby fed once an hour during the night and the first few weeks were so tough. The feeding helps to build your supply up.

The thing with breastfeeding is it starts off hard but gets easier. I struggled for the first 6 weeks then it did get easier. I did top up with bottles of formula and expressed milk at first. I stopped because it is easier to breastfeed than to make a bottle.

A lot of people mix feed or express milk so that someone else can give the bottle. This can save your sanity in the early days as someone else can feed the baby and you can get some sleep.