Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

How do I do this?

15 replies

cookie222018 · 14/10/2018 16:20

I am supposed to feed my daughter 8 to 10 times in 24 hours. That's once every 3 hours if I am feeding 8 times. How does this work? If I start at 6am, she takes a minimum of 10 minutes to latch on (breastfeeding problems here, story for another thread) then 15 minutes each per boob. After that give her expressed milk and then a bit of formula - another 10 minutes or so. Putting her to sleep takes about another 10 minutes on a good day. Then since my milk supply is not fully established I need to express for about 20 minutes.

This is just to bare minimum. Add to this time taken to change nappies, sooth her if she's crying, wake her up if she's sleeping, change her clothes, apply sudocrem to her rashes I end up with barely a half an hour break before it's time for her next feed.

Everyone thinks the 8 times per day thing is a given. Am I missing something here or is it just me being naive about how much work parenting really is?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
VimFuego101 · 14/10/2018 16:23

Expressing alongside or instead of BF is really tough. My son couldn't latch on (tongue tie diagnosed later) so I pumped and then fed him the bm. It was utterly miserable. Are you getting proper help with the feeding issues you're having?

WeSaluteYou · 14/10/2018 16:24

Where has the 8 times a day come from?

MasterSensei · 14/10/2018 16:25

How old is baby? Unfortunately that's just how it is with a new baby :( when dd was a newborn I spent most of the day and night with her attached to my boob. When she gets older you won't have to feed as often and she'll become much more effective at feeding and it'll get easier!

Is there a reason you're topping up with formula and expressing? If you leave baby to feed on demand she will establish your supply and it'll save you a lot of time expressing! We never gave formula or expressed and within a few weeks she was much better.
Though I appreciate you may have issues we didn't.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

stellabird · 14/10/2018 16:26

Yup, that's about it. This is the reason why many new mothers are still in their nightie at dinner time.

Iwantaunicorn · 14/10/2018 16:36

That sounds about right, at least it was for my DTs in the early weeks. Don’t forget though that you can sleep when the baby sleeps Hmm

cookie222018 · 14/10/2018 16:40

I had a pretty traumatic birth and my milk never came in so had to give her the bottle for the first two weeks. She is now three weeks old and it's been pretty painful to move to breastfeeding because she's so used to the bottle and getting her milk quickly. I tried ebf but she ended up with pink crystals in her wee due to dehydration which is why we had to top up with formula. I'm getting help which is how I've got to bf at least for a little while but everything looks so challenging at the moment.

OP posts:
SputnikBear · 14/10/2018 16:44

I end up with barely a half an hour break before it's time for her next feed
Welcome to motherhood. You’ll be lucky to even get the half hour break imo. Parenting is relentless, that’s why so many new mothers suffer from depression and have nervous breakdowns. Mine is 8 months old and I still dont have time to even watch tv. Ever.

PerspicaciaTick · 14/10/2018 16:49

The first month of my child's life, I got up in the morning, got a pillow for under my arm, a pint of water, my phone, the TV remote and a banana and some fig rolls and pretty much sat in one place alternating bfing and sleeping until DH walked in from work.
Sometimes I also fitted in a walk or a visit from a friend or HV or a baby bath or whatever, those were the days I was winning.

Whyisitsodifficult · 14/10/2018 16:52

Whilst she’s feeding, pump from the other breast that should help increase supply. Then offer her the pumped milk so at least you can see what she’s taking in. Good luck op it’s bloody hard work.

WhyDontYouListen · 14/10/2018 17:33

I ebf and had to express to top up my dd (due to her health problems) so I completely empathise with how relentlessly gruelling it is. I pumped on one side while she fed on the other. I also, as pp said, would literally sit in one place for the day feeding, wiping up her puke, then feeding again. I was lucky if i managed to get a drink, wee or on a good day, something to eat. However, it does pass and over time, my dd managed just on breast milk without the topping up (admittedly in my case it was after surgery for her condition), but it did get easier and the time between feeds got longer.
I found that wearing her in a sling enabled me to do a few things whilst she could still feed if necessary. I became quite good at making food, putting the washing on and walking the dogs all with a small dd attached to my breast. Remember, this too shall pass and accept any and all help if offered and cut yourself some slack, lower your standards and just devote yourself to feeding for this period of time.

Nothisispatrick · 14/10/2018 17:58

We’re in the same boat in regards to breastfeeding op, we’re trying to move to breastfeeding after bottle feeding and a traumatic birth with two week old DD. It’s relentless and yesterday I nearly gave up as having her crying trying to latch on is so heartbreaking.

Regarding the 8 feeds a day, I ignore that completely and let the baby feed when she’s hungry. She generally has periods of awareness for 1-2 hours and feeds constantly in that time between breast and bottle, then long naps. I never wake her. She’s gaining weight rapidly (HV and midwives are always surprised) so I’m not worried

cookie222018 · 14/10/2018 18:50

It is heartbreaking indeed :( my child cries for a long long time and each time she does I rethink my decision of wanting to bf. She laps up the bottle eagerly and plays calmly for a lot longer after that so I'm just wondering if formula will be better for her and for us after all.

OP posts:
Whyisitsodifficult · 14/10/2018 21:29

What’s her latch like? Have you had her checked for tongue tie?

Sleeplikeasloth · 14/10/2018 21:46

Am I missing something here or is it just me being naive about how much work parenting really is?

Honestly, I don't think it's how much work 'parenting' is, but it is how much breastfeeding + expressing + top ups is.

Feeding every 3 hours for some people (bottles or quick breastfed babies), may be 20 mins or so, with over 2.5 hours in between, but because you're doing a bit of everything, it's taking more time. If it's what you want to do, and you are OK with the extra work, then by all means persevere of course.

No need to wake babies though, and few will feed 3hrly by choice - most like to vary. I bottle fed, but that was on demand too - sometimes there'd be two feeds in an hour, sometimes a gap of 4-5 hours, which varies the 'break' you get.

Caterina99 · 15/10/2018 02:57

OP I did that breastfeeding - bottle feeding - expressing cycle with my eldest and it nearly destroyed me. It literally never ends. I just couldn’t keep it up, and we ended up moving mostly to formula at 6 weeks. Although he was mix fed til 5 months. I really hope it works for you, but it is sooo much work!

With my second I vowed I would not drive myself insane to bf. We still had a couple of issues, but DD took to bf significantly easier and it was such a better experience. Yes it’s still hard work and a lot of feeding at 3 weeks, but there was just no comparison!

breastfeeding and expressing is the most time consuming method to feed a baby and personally it honestly ranks as some of the worst few weeks of my life. Hugs to you!!!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread