How do I help my son with a friendship problem

[Somethingsosimple]

My son has just started at secondary school. He is in the same form as a boy from his primary school who he has always been friends with but they always played together in a big group at primary school. My son has admitted tonight that this boy is very possessive of him since starting secondary school and won’t let my son speak to anyone else. I have always known that this particular boy can be a little unusual at times but he has always seemed quite harmless. My son would like to make new friends but his friend keeps making emotional demands on my son and gets upset if he speaks to anyone else. He said it happens every time he sparks up a new friendship and his friend stops him sitting next to anyone else in lessons. My son is extremely kind hearted and doesn’t want to upset this boy which I think is a good quality but I’m concerned for my son. His friend finds it hard to make friends as he can be obsessive about subjects ( can talk constantly for hours about a particular model of iPhone) and my son says that other people make comments about him being boring. On Friday my son had arranged to meet another friend for lunch but again his friend got upset and pulled my son away. He won’t just join my son wth a new friend but insists on being alone with my son. How can I help my son?My son told me that if he gently declines hanging out together this particular boy will make up lies that my son has been bullying him to get sympathy,so my son is worried that he will be in trouble.

I have a year 7 boy . I think you are going to have to tell Ds to be direct.

Give him a few stock phrases to help

It’s not ok.
If you lie about me I will not speak to you at all.

Tell your Ds he has a right to be friends with who he wants

He doesn't sound harmless at all!

Thanks for replies. I was was quite shocked when he told me as he does sound very controlling. I’m just worried as my son seems to be unable to stand up to him.

Can you invite him and another boy for tea? Keep them downstairs so you can be 'around'. Your ds should feel more confident on 'home turf' and have the confidence to call him out on his attitude. Also seeing him in a nice home environment with rules may make the lad back off from ds is he likes the his way /no way approach to life.
Worked for my dc when they have had an unwanted friend!

My Ds has a friend I think has a dark side never showed it at my house.

I would be more likely to get him to invite new friends.

Thanks for replies. My son has just told me that his friend makes my son buy him food at lunch too. My son keeps saying he doesn't want to upset him and he can't stand up to it.

I agree this seems less and less harmless with each update! If your son can't stand up to him (and i don't blame him, the 'friend' sounds deeply unpleasant) I would be involving the school by contacting your son's tutor.

I’d be speaking to the school this needs nipping in the bus quickly.

Thanks. I was wondering if involving the school would ott but maybe not? The only added problem is that we know his parents so would hate to think they knew we approached the school. Do you think the school would be discreet?

I wouldn’t care at this point . A friends Ds was bullying my Ds. I went into school . I don’t believe she knew I went in but did find out about it.

Our friendship didn’t survive. It is hard unless they are equally as appalled by their dc’s behaviour