If you were undecided about adding to your family - how did it turn out?

[Fivefootoffun]

Appreciate it varies so much from one family to the next but would love to hear other people’s stories none the less..

If you were undecided about having another child be it second, third etc and went on to do it, how did it turn out? Do you think you could have been as happy had you not went for it? Any pros/cons you’ve experienced?

I’m asking as someone who is considering no 2 but not wholly convinced it’s the right decision for me.

Looking forward to hearing other people’s stories!

My husband was very, very against number two and it took me almost a year to get him to change his mind.

Our second one is 14 months now and having two is just amazing!!!! Even my husband will admit it was the best thing we have done

Very happy we've had 4. I really want another; my husband doesn't. I think he might win this time and I'll grow to be content with that! Sometimes I imagine what it'd be Iike if we'd stopped at 2; life would be easier and I'd now have some free time. But I'm more than happy we had 4.

fraula - I’m trying to get a third one out of my husband and he’s point blank refusing!! I told him that’s what he said about number 3 though

He said he’d divorce me before letting me have another baby

typo - obviously I meant that when he refused me number 3 I told him that’s what he’d once said about having number 2

We were undecided about no. 3 for some time, but decided to go for it. He is now 8 months. 😃

Life would definitely be easier without him, and as the older 2 are now both at school I would probably have increased my working hours which may/may not lead to a promotion, so I guess my career will be stalled further by the decision too.

BUT, he is wonderful and we all totally adore him!! Having 3 is hard work but I just love the dynamics of it all, and the laughter and chaos! I cannot wait for our first Christmas as a family of 5. I really enjoyed him as a newborn and each new phase is the last of the ‘firsts’, so it seems really special. He also gives the best cuddles. ☺️

I wasn't too sure about having a second either; I found DC1 really difficult and wasn't totally sure I was up for going through it all again (mainly the lack of sleep and resulting impact on my mental health).
However I have no regrets; DC2 has been a complete joy and a v different experience to my first year with DC1.
It's a handful now, and bloody exhausting (def not having any more!) but I'm so glad I have both of them in my life.

Thanks everyone, lots of lovely positive stories!

@QueenofmyPrinces** i have no idea how he went for number 4! No.3 took some campaigning. 5 may be a step too far and I actually don't know if it'd be manageable, so I do hope I grow out of these feelings!

I was very undecided about having a second - had pretty awful PND after number 1. Currently
sat here 19.5 weeks pregnant with number 2....

We werent sure about no 2 until I got pregnant and lost the baby.

It made us realise how much no 2 was wanted.

However he had some health issues (awful reflux, allergies and muscular and digestive issues) which meant he screamed for most of the first year of his life and barely slept. He wouldn't be held by anyone else except me for months and I had to hold him round the clock day and night.

His older sibling hated me for having another child and it hugely affected our relationship.

Both DH and I suffered depression and other MH issues from the stress and lack of sleep. Our relationship suffered too. It totally changed the dynamic of our household from a calm, relaxed one to a loud, tense one.

2.5 years on it's got a lot better but still hard. The younger one is still very tense at timesand screams a lot, and they fight so much which is exhausting and upsetting, but I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and starting to feel like me again. And they can be utterly lovely.

If no 2 had been a "normal", averagely sleeping and perfectly healthy baby things would have been different. I'd have been able to put him down for a nap and spend more time with the older one. I would have been more rested and able to cope.

Chances are you'll get that.

But you never know.

We were the other way around to most people. DH was desperate for a third, I didn’t really want one, as i’d had PND with number 2, we had just got back on our feet financially and DS2 was nearly in school. We talked about it for 2 years! In the end after weighing up pros and cons I realised I didn’t want to regret it and we now have a DD who is 3 months.
So far it’s been amazing! The boys are at school so it’s kind of like having our first but without all the angst. She is a very chilled baby and sleeps a lot and the boys adore her.
DH smiles smugly occasionally that he won me over!

No answers as could have posted same question OP! Interested in others’ experiences...

I definitely didn’t want no 3, my children were 15 and 18, managed to avoid for 6 months (knew my cycle) then had a few celebrating one night and wham. Best thing I ever did. He is my adored baby.

And when I say baby he’s 16 now!

We had two. Never planned a 3rd as my 2nd child was a very poorly child
There was in my 15 months between eldest 2. Had the coil in as was refused sterilisation. Made me very poorly so thry finally removed it. Got caught by accident the night it was removed. My 3rd child nearly died at birth, has numerous health problems and is pretty heavily autistic. But wouldn't change him for the world. Very very hard though. Deffo finished now though. Finally managed to persuade them to lady snip me.

We had planned 3, tried for a while but it didn't happen and just accepted 2 was what was for us.

I was a single mum with DD for nearly 5 years...always said no more, for various reasons. When I met DP he said the same, he didn't want any more kids. Then he slowly started changing his mind, then we decided to go for it.

I love DS with everything I have, now he is here any reservations I had are totally gone. He has completed our little family. If we hadn't had him we'd have more money, more space & I wouldn't look like Wurzel Gummidge most days...but we wouldn't be our little family

Thanks everyone for all the feedback.

@babbsscrabbs - thanks for such honest feedbacs - glad there’s now light coming at the end of the tunnel.

What do you think having heard it..? .I’m slowly considering...

Exhausted! Some days I doubt my sanity and wonder what on earth I was thinking, I feel guilt for my older child. However, 9 months in and the weight is lifting. All in all, it was the right decision.