Comments on size of baby

[DifficultN]

My one year old is healthy, happy, eating well and hitting all of her milestones. She's around 9kg and is quite long, I'm not sure how long exactly but she looks quite lean (which runs in the family!).

Whenever I take her to baby groups and get chatting, some parents are surprised to hear that she's a year old, and come out with "oh isn't she small/dainty/tiny?"

I do find this disheartening, and I was wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar before? I never really know what to say back, I just say "Well she's healthy" as if I have to justify myself to them. I keep going to the groups but just have to brace myself for the comments and constant comparisons with bigger babies.

Sorry if this has become a bit of a moan, I'm also 3 months pregnant with my second so perhaps feeling a little sensitive

I would take that as a compliment actually! Better than bring told they are the opposite then worrying that they are overweight.
I had 2 ordinary sized babies then one a pound and a half heavier and grew like a mushroom. I was sad because they grow up so quick anyway, I wanted my babies to be smaller. Well at least not larger.
So my response would be "yes I just love it, she gets to stay a baby as long as possible". Revel in it and reap the positives.

Odd thought but is she just quite unhairy and therefore they think she’s younger because of that?!
9kg is perfectly average for a 12 month old. (Is she 12 months rather than 23months?)

I think you’re being a little sensitive. Most likely they’re trying to make conversation, about your baby since you’re at a baby group, and babies really aren’t all that interesting so that’s probably the best they could come up with.

Thank you, I shall try!

She has a bit of hair, not loads so maybe this could be a thing...

@Josella
I know, and i do always feel bad for worrying about it afterwards when the groups really are so good for my daughter.

DD is very similar. She only reached 9kg at 15m. I tend to preempt the comments so when people ask how old she is I say 'she's X months. She's small for her age so people tend to assume she's younger'. It kind of deals with it in one go and ends that conversation there.

Personally I don’t like the comments on a baby’s size though, and if you repeatedly hear that she’s small I see why you might start to question the comments so don’t feel bad . But seriously don’t worry about it, the parents saying it probably can’t think of anything more interesting to say!

I think it is just something to say, people forget that every baby is not the same as their baby, maybe you could reply, yes she is but yours is a bit of a biffa (just kidding) .

My DD was so tiny that she was only 9 kgs at 24 months, when I took her to get her forward facing car seat, the man at Halfords said you shouldn't really put them forward facing too early, at which point I got her out of her car seat and she started walking around telling him which seat she wanted to try. He thought she was about 9 months old. . He was really surprised .

I always get / got the opposite both ds 4 and ds 12 weeks were very tall babies and I got/get endless aren't they big for their age etc I think it is just conversation mostly.

I don’t think people are trying to hint at anything health wise. My daughter is the biggest girl in my NCT group (and bigger than a couple of the boys too) and I’ll comment on the others feeling light compared to her. I’m just stating a fact as it’s quite surprising to hold a baby who is much lighter, I don’t think either is healthier, big or small, they just all come in different shapes and sizes.

I also get the opposite about ds. He's a 'big boy' and a 'proper lad' according to most.

I genuinely think it's just chit chat. It doesn't bother me anyhow , as he eats well and is active and happy.

I also got the opposite, I grow 99.6th centile babies apparently. It’s never occurred to me they were implying I overfed them, but maybe they were?!

However now my 9yo DD is over 5ft I’m not so keen on the ‘aren’t you tall’ comments as I worry it’ll make her more self conscious.

We get the opposite. 2 year old DS is already more than half my height. He's 91st percentile

My 8month old is nearly 9kg but she's quite tall and doesn't look fat she's quite lean, she inhales food though

Im 29 and still get comments like this all the time. Some people are jist small its how they are. I wouldnt look into it as they are being funny or think you arent feeding it. More than likely just making small talk.

I had the opposite with my 2 boys "oh he's big"! Yes okay

My DS is nearly 18mo and is still in his infant carrier. He was 6lbs at birth (42 weeks) and has always been tiny. Not reached 9kg yet. I like that he is small as clothes last longer as well.
I don't mind people commenting about it, as they find it adorable he's so tiny. I was with a friend today who carried him over to a slide and she was jealous at how tiny he was as her daughter who is nearly 3 has always been tall for her age, she was over 10lbs at birth.

People always comment on babies/toddlers sizes. I've had one average one, one big one and one small one and they all got comments. I think people open their mouths, can't think what they were going to say and stuff like that just falls out.

Yes I get it all the time, my 14 month old isn't 9kg yet, he was 5lb 14 born at last weigh in he was 18lb 10. He was only 71cm at his 12 month check.

Everybody says he's tiny/a dot/ ssooooo small and I'm trying not to, but a part of me just wants to yell "so what I'm only 4"10 (and a half)",
but I know most people don't mean it as a negative, but they don't hear it a million times a day.
He is following his chart perfectly, he is just petite like his mummy, but , by gosh it's annoying.

When people ask how old he is I find myself saying "14 months , he is little one " or something like that before they do......I need to stop that !!!

When my son was 18 months old he regularly got mistaken for a three year old.

Some kids are so dainty and small and others are huge chunky things but none of it is said in a malicious way. I think you're just being over sensitive. Everybody's kids are different and they were probably just comparing to what their children were like at that age. I have done that a lot because my son was massive, I thought everyone else's babies were much younger than they were purely because my son has always been a fat chunk I now add on an extra 3 months when I guess someone's babies age.

We have it too, my 1yo is 16lb. (Think it's just over 7kg). She's perfectly healthy, just little. :)

I get this too. I think I'm quite sensitive about it as I feel bigger babies are assumed to be well nourished and thriving and (in my head) there's the assumption that people think my DS is not healthy/underfed,

Thing is, there's so much variation in why babies are the size they are. My doctor quite rightly mentioned that centile charts takes into account formula fed babies. Formula contains very fatty cows milk and steroids, making it usual for formula fed babies to be quite bigger than breastfed. If all babies were breastfed, many UK babies wouldn't be considered to be small for their age at all.

I get it now my 4yr old is 13kg and at school looks like a toddler amongst the other children

It has certainly been interesting hearing I'm not alone in my experiences, at either end of the spectrum. There are so many factors at play, so children should not be compared in my opinion, and I find it sad that the focus on size/weight starts so early. I'm guilty of it myself, I do worry that she is small but have to ignore it and my own issues, and focus on what I see day in, day out which is a healthy happy girl.