The No Cry Sleep Solution for Newborns.

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Have you read it and would you recommend it? I want to buy w book for a friend who is PG with her first but it’s been a while since I had my babies.

I’m not a fan of prescriptive rountine style books and prefer books aimed at parents to at least be written by a parent and be evidence based.

If you can think of another book instead, p,ease feel free to recommend that one too

I read the book for my DD who is now 3, I did like where it was coming from, however it didn't really work for us, sorry

Gentle Sleep Book by Sarah Ockwell Smith. Lovely advice and so reassuring that your baby is completely normal!
In fact I'd advise all her books

They're all bollocks.

You're baby will sleep the amount it's going to sleep. Any improvements would probably have happened anyway with development.

Thanks for that Slinging but I was looking for some gentle guidance for a friend. Like me she comes from a family and area where ffing is the norm, as is extremely early Weaning (6 weeks anyone?), ditching formula for sterilised milk and letting baby to cry it out almost from birth.

Maybe send her this link:

www.isisonline.org.uk

It's ran by Durham University and really is, evidence based. None of those books are.

Not seen that link before slinging, thanks! Really useful about the stress that sleep training creates.

Thanks again slinging. I attended a presentation by Durham University when the site was launched. I’m hoping to get a friend a gift though rather than a link

I like the no cry sleep solution book. Good balanced advice some obvious stuff but it was reassuring to me being a first time mum. It makes it quite clear to take the bits that make sense for your family and situation and ignore the rest. It may become relevant later on.
See if you can get a second hand copy and save some pennies.

The Happy Sleeper is an excellent book. I sleep trained both my kids within a few days using this method.

The "gentle" methods are bolloxs. They involve actual hours of crying every evening for months. Nothing gentle about that.

Supportive and reassuring CC is much kinder.

I read most of No Cry Sleep Solution and while there was some sensible stuff in there it was buried in quite a bit of 'smugness' (well done me I've got four great sleepers) - very possibly not intended by the authorbut that's how it came across to me. Also she spends ages talking about why leaving babies to cry is a terrible idea but then says that if you are at the end of your tether and her methods haven't worked then you may end up having to leave them to cry anyway (while feeling guilty because of reading everything she's said about how bad it is)....
..

I would also just think whether your friend is likely to be the kind of person who is scared to let baby cry for two seconds while they go to the toilet - if so then this book might not help.

Ps also the techniques didn't work for us (as you might have guessed) although possibly might have been more useful if I'd read them at the newborn stage rather than with a 4 month old determined to feed to sleep. Also I was breastfeeding and I suspect someone who was bottle feeding (especially someone who would have preferred to breastfeed) might have found it a bit focused on breastfeeding.

@BooMare have you actually read any of the Sarah Ockwell Smith Gentle books, they are the complete opposite of what to describe.
They are all about going straight to your baby and providing comfort/ what they need to help them back to sleep
I would also point your friend in the direction of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding if this is how she wants to feed but doesn't know many people who do it.
The baby led weaning book is also great.
I'd also try and find some Facebook groups for all these topics, lots of amazing advice that's so reassuring for a first time mum

Sorry for bitty posts, I have just remembered that I have a feeling she makes some negative comments about mums going back to work - can't remember for sure and this may be based in the US experience of minimal maternity leave but maybe be cautious if your friend is in a position where she needs or wants to return to work.

Don’t buy your friend a sleep book. Just don’t.

There are so many different approaches to sleep and it’s such an emotive subject. I don’t think it would be a good idea to choose the book that you think has the “best” approach as she might not agree or she might read it and feel worse or she might feel that you are judging her if you don’t follow the advice and do something else.

If she asks you for advice or recommendations you could give it, but if she doesn’t you should steer clear.

If you really want to buy her a book the only one I would recommend is “What Mothers Do”.

Would also recommend Sarah Ockwell Smith

See, I breastfed (still am breastfeeding) and coslept, and I think Sarah Ockwell-Smith’s book is useless crap. If someone had actually bought it for me I would have resented them for it.

It’s all so subjective.

@FutureMrsTempah Yes. The "gentle" method of constantly going to your child/staying in the room with them for hours while they wail is just rubbish! It doesn't work! The child cries and cries, and needs constant comfort from the parent. That's not really normal or good sleeping habits.

A good few evenings of reassuring CC will work wonders for everyone involved.

For those recommending the "gentle" method, how long did it take to sleep train your child? Because I've knoen people to be doing it for actual months (begore they switch to the much kinder and more effective CC).

@BooMare I don't want to derail the op thread. But you clearly haven't read the Sarah Ockwell Smith books.
Not sure how anyone could claim CC to be reassuring for the baby who just wants to close to their parents.
Waking up is the biological norm, and asking for help by crying is natural.
Children who have undergone CC have just been taught it's pointless crying as their parents won't go to help them

The OP is talking about a newborn in the thread title. No one should be sleep training a newborn. I agree with a PP - find a better present for your friend!

I’ve got the Sarah Ockwell-Smith book and I like it. There’s not some prescribed routine or “how to” methods, it helps you understand why babies sleep how they sleep and what are realistic expectations of sleep from a baby. In conjunction with that ISIS resource it has really helped me realise that my baby waking up is 100% normal and that whilst yes, a full night’s sleep would be great, what is better is knowing that my baby goes to sleep comforted rather than distressed.

As an aside I honestly can’t believe there is anyone on the planet who think CC is the kinder option. Mumsnet always comes up trumps!!

Never sleep trained or when I did I used ‘gentle’ methods. Learned night from day (both kids by Week 6), learned to not wake up after feeds by Week 10. (So would Breastfeed once or twice at night and go back to sleep). Never ever had hours of crying and shushing and patting or whatever. I offered comfort when needed and in an age appropriate way, and managed to co-sleep, Breastfeed, eventually transition to cot and now have two excellent sleepers including one who is 7 and reads, switches off the light and goes to sleep entirely independently. Sleep is a long game. Create good long term sleep habits and teach them good sleep hygiene. A bunch of my friends with kids who slept 7-7 at 12 weeks or whatever then had 3 year olds who would be up and down like a yo yo (and you can’t use CC then!) and now have kids in primary school with poor sleep habits who don’t know how to put themselves to sleep.

I found the No cry Sleep solution very helpful for reducing arm sleeping btw in the newborn way. It is also realistic about how long it takes to break bad sleep habits and breaks it down into steps. So sleep association words, creating a calming routine etc as part of falling asleep. Then how to break any sleep association to allow the child to connect sleep cycles (again I used the Pantley Pull Off).

Sleep training a new born is insane, don't care what culture you come from.