Shoud I say goodbye to DD?

[LynetteScavo]

I need to go out this evening at 6.45pm. MIL is comming to look after DD (23 months) and DS2 (4). I should be back by 8- 8.30pm, (is expected home with DS1 about the same time.)

I know DD will cry when I go, as she doesn't know MIL very well.Will I be evil to slip away without saying goodbye? Obviously I'll say a quiet goodbye to DS. They'll probaly just watch TV unitl we get home.

What do yu think? I've never done it before.

(DH is expected home with DS1 about the same time.)

I always have said goodbye to DD,however painful as I never want her to think I have sneaked off and be forever worrying that I might again.

That said,you are not going to be gone that long I guess-is MIL putting her to bed?

Can you get her engrossed in a TV programme so when you cheerily say 'just nipping out to the boring shops' she'll barely notice?

Do you really have to leave her with someone she doesn't know very well? I definitely wouldn't leave without saying bye. That will make her feel like she can't trust you and won't feel happy enough to try and settle and bond with your MIL.

Tricky as you so quickly forget what 23month olds are like but I think I'd be tempted to do a big goodbye following a big introduction to MIL

No matter how upset she might be I'd say goodbye. Its a good lesson to learn that when you go you always come back.

Sorry, I meant small goodbye after big intro

you know them best, do what you think is best for them. I ALWAYS say good bye to my 18 month old DS. "give me a kiss, bye bye, see you soon" and leave fast.

I want him to know that I will always tell him when I'm leaving and won't ever mysteriously disappear. Its one of my foibles for some reason.

Say bye but don't make any fuss. Say it quickly then leave. That's what i do with ds when I leave him at childminders, he apparantly cries for about 30 seconds after we've gone and then is fine. (In fact sometimes cries when we try to take him home at end of day!)

Thankyou! You've made up my mind. I'll say goodbye. She won't be tired as she's having a long nap, and I suppose I have to leave her with MIL at some point. MIL lives close by, but I'm in the habbit of asking my mum for childcare, and she's away.

Snap Kew-spooky!

we are as one whoosh... you could give me your washing machine as a show of solidarity.

I always say 'I am going to the shops'. Always works.

I think the shops would sound quite apealing, and they'd want to come too! I'm only going to a meeting at DS's school.

Say goodbye. She might cry, but is one of many ways you'll show her about honesty and trust.

No chance Kew-she is mine all mine and I luuuurve her.

well? How did it go... are you back yet?

I explained to DD I was going out, and I could tell she understood. She was very excited when Grandma arived, but ofcourse strated to cry when I said goodbye. I thought MIL would pick her up and wave to me saying "See you soon" ,like my mum does. Instead, she stayed seated on the sofa, looked at me with raised eye brows and said
"I think you should have just slipped away". Anyway, DH was home first, and ofcourse they were all fine!

slightly odd of your MIL, my mum also does the stand at the door and wave bye bye thing. Glad it went well though.

give them cuddles an kisses tell them you going out but mom coming back say bye wave, it was heartbreaking the first time i snook out she sobbed all the time i was gone when i said goodbye she found it funny and went off playing with my mom an sis. perhaps tell them iff they good you will do somethig speacial with them tommoro

i once left my dd when she was about 2 to pop to the shop without telling her i was going, when i got back she was hysterical, and wouldn't let me leave her without creating a fuss for about a year!

i now always make a point of saying bye.

is she likely to realise your not there? if so, then i would definately recomend saying goodbye, but don't make a fuss about it

whoops sorry, didn't realise the event had already happened