Mother in from hell

[mommyto2monsters]

I would like some advise .. to cut long story short husband mom hasn't been best of moms to him over years with prison and drugs which now results in her on methadone still after 18 years .. I have had many issues with her and these issues over the years with her constantly lying and me finding out I was right all along... recently she has been really ill and we all got informed she won't be here much longer so I got guilt tripped into going to see her and getting things from her house. On this one occasion of getting clean clothes I came across a drug paraphernalia which I took to police and spoke to drug help who could only say they 99% sure it's for herion or crack.. I ended up flipping as my youngest was with me in her house at time and could come across it. I told husband and great grandparents she won't be seeing children anymore if she can leave that for me to find and with her only grandchildren present .....

It's been a couple months now and I'm being made out to be the "bad guy" for not letting her see her grand children... I have said she can talk to them on phone but she not allowed to come in my house or see them as she's lost the privileges by doing drugs
Am I actually being the bad guy ??? I feel I'm doing this to protect my children and also she's not been a nan who sees them all the time anyway???
Help answers appreciated as I feel me and husband are going to come to blows over his mother

In most MIL threads I’d say it was 50/50 but in this case I’d say you’re spot on. Who’s trying to make you feel bad? If it’s the MIL just ignore her and keep repeating that she can talk to them on the phone, FaceTime or write but until she’s clean, that’s it.

Her parents as it's been a couple months they say you can't hold grudges ??? I have said this on too many occasions now that that's it and she always wormed her way back in she's tried to deny it was hers said it was boyfriend then said only done marijuana in it ... but police and drug help say differently unless I get it tested ??? But why have two and why have them kept in knicker drawers ... it's my Daughter birthday this weekend and I feel me and husband are going to fall out over it again but I can't keep letting her get away with it like they have for all these years... I'm worrying she is going to break me and my husband as I'm making him choose sides

I think you need to sit down with your DH and tell him why you want to keep her away from the children. You really both need to agree on this one, it does matter what anyone else thinks, you both need to put the welfare of the children first.

If you let her back into your lives now, you’re just giving her a clear message that she can take drugs and still do whatever she likes. If she really wants to see her Grandchildren, she’ll prove it by getting clean.