aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggg

[InternationalMouseOfMystery]

just had first ever proper bedtime meltdown with ds (just 2)

he was like a wild animal

couldn't get nappy on - took two of us and was scared we were going to hurt him

eventually just left him with no stories

feel like shit now - he's been crying for ages

[shit mother]

forgot my 'h' in all my aaaa and gggg ing

not shit mother, strong mother, with good discipline.

he'll be ok.

No you are not. You are a lovely mother. This happened to me too and I just left them to it - trashed bedroom, screamed for hours and evenutally fell asleep on the floor.

It's hideous but this is the terrible twos I am afraid.

[tears]

am hoping it's cos am 8 mths pg that am feeling so pathetic

Hang in there because eventually they will take themselves off to bed, clean their teeth etc Bedtime can be crap.

thanks both

almost lost it with him

sorry but i would have not left him to cry, he has only turned 2 ffs.

would it not have been better to try and calm him down by reading him a story in a quiet room.

Walking away for a bit is sometimes best.Much more responsible to go calm yourself down.Our 5 yr old DD still has bad meltdowns when tired and when i'm tired too,the relationship is EXPLOSIVE.I say things i shouldn't or manhandle her too roughly(never smack!) and end up regretting the bad atmosphere that is created.Once left her to get ready(recently) by herself and she cried herself to sleep.Never will again though.Like to end the day on good terms with her.Will wait for her to calm down and then nip in quick before she goes to sleep for a kiss.
Acts like a 'drunk adult' when tired-hyper,ignoring instructions-DRIVES ME MAAAD!.
Tried calm down corner,but once so angry she wouldn't calm down,so i sat with her to help her calm down.
Don't berate yourself-the twos ARE hard,you
are a good mother because you feel like shit-it shows you care,and also the fact you are sharing it with us shows you are looking for ways to amend problems!
Just try to rise above it when they are tired,if at all possible-your anger only makes it worse-they want sympathy and security when they are like that.
I put soothing music on at bedtime,to help soothe us both and try to avoid DD getting overtired in the first place if feasible.
Also wrapped a big towel round DD at that age to make her feel cosy and secure.Sometimes worked.When out in the pram gave her a little square of towel too to soothe.She would stop crying and snuggle up to it.Think they calm down when they know that you understand what's up and you are trying to do something about it.
I'm also very careful not to fuel her attempts at starting arguments and just go along with her and agree with her,just to keep the peace-so long as it's not giving in to her.
How about sitting at the other side of the room and looking down.When they calm down just a bit,look up and move a little closer,so they know they can't get you angry with their tantrum.Might make them think calmness gets more attention.
If DD plays up now,it's when she's got an audience,so i warn her,then go downstairs(or threaten to) and then she says sorry and complies,but she tests and does it again,so i repeat abandonment.
hope i've helped.Just ignore criticism.It has no positive benefit apart from making you feel more shit.ALL of us parents try our best.Trial and error will tell you.If some action makes you feel bad,just try to adjust it next time.
They do not remember the nasty episode the next day,like it never happened(also like drunk adults) and they still think the sun shines out of you and say your the best mummy.
If they ever say they hate you,just ignore it,as 10/10 times they love you 10 minutes later.
good luck
happyathome

Well done Happyathome, I think you've said everything that needs to be said! Brilliantly put too! IMOM, he WILL be fine in the morning and he WILL greet you like nothing happened! He's learnt a lesson that he won't forget in a hurry. Try not to let it spoil the rest of your evening. You handled it just right imho!

oh yes mousy, been there done that (pregnancy makes it that much harder too).

Put yer feet up - he will greet you tomorrow with a big grin. All forgotten

thank you happyathome -that's a great post and really helpful

on the other hand "imalittlestar" your "ffs" doesn't really help me, thanks - i wonder if making me feel crap made you feel good? i hope so

lol,that sounds like my ds! Tonight, he's not so much crying, but singing Baa Baa Black Sheep to my dd!

IMOM,
I've often let meds cry, not for long, but sometimes he just simply will not go to bed.

If your a shit mother,then so am I, and I'm NOT.

when one of ours goes into meltdown I've found getting into bed with her and giving her big cuddles does help (has to be at the crying/raging in bed rather than violent ragind stage). Also tends to happen when one parent has denied her so we can do good cop bad cop routine. Perhaps more relevent as they get older but a good one to try in the future (if you ever need to)

i really wanted to get his nappy on - that's where the flashpoint was

i like the idea of getting into bed with him, but he's in a small bed (cotbed with sides off and bedguard on) and i'm 34 weeks pg, so will have to leave that for a little while!

or just sit by the side of the bed and hug him up close - not easy hugely pregnant. Hopefully it'll be a one off, he'll be fine in the morning anyway! If the nappy is a regular flash point can you try him in pull ups or something different at night as a novelty factor?

are you a namechanger imalittlestar?

odd for a second post ever to include an abbreviation such as ffs

Oh Tutter - I know what you're going through - I went through the same with DS1 when I was pregnant with DS2 - the hormones and the tiredness certainly don't help. Happyathome has some great advice - will try it myself.
Go and give your DS a hug and a kiss (even if he is asleep) - it will make you feel better. And don't be too hard on yourself
xx

thank you waynetta

(tears again because you're being nice)

(hormonal, me?)

glad to help!.
good luck with the pregnancy by the way.
will you let us know how you get on-maybe
add another message on to this thread when baby's born?,or if the methods work.Or if anyone else tries my methods-just curious if those tactics would work for another child-i've no other children to try them on!-anyway they helped my DD