AIBU about my shy daughter

[Nokoba]

My daughter is 10 years old and she is very shy outside her house.
From the time she started reception until now, at every parent’s evening, it is the same message: her teachers remind me that she is shy and does not participate in class. To be honest, I don't know what they expect from me.
The thing is it is definitely not the case at home. As soon as she gets home she is fun, smart, explorative etc. However, when we speak to her and it is not what she expects to hear, she starts crying.
A few years ago, she asked to enroll her in drama lessons and after a year she refused to go. Two years ago, it was gymnastics. These days it is girl guiding and athletics. In all of them, she wants to quit citing that there people there who are rude to her.
I don’t know what to do and I hope you will be able to help.
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I think you need to help her understand that the world is made up of all sorts of people. Some of them are rude (whether they have been in the particular situation or not), some are funny, some are confident, some are a bit blunt, some are annoying, some are kind or thoughtful, etc etc. What we each have the ability to do, is decide how to respond to that rudeness. We can't always influence the way people speak to us, but we can decide what ours response is.

It can be hard when you're a shy, sensitive child. I was one! Your emotions can be overwhelming. I'd ask her if anything stops her from speaking up in class- embarrassment? Worried she'll say the wrong thing? You might find that the older she gets, the more she starts to get involved anyway. I think some teachers forget that all children are different. Classrooms are very much geared towards extroverts. And chat to her like PP said about how some people can be rude but that's no reflection on her. If someone doesn't like her, that's ok. Say if it's something she enjoys, it'd be a shame to stop because someone was rude. Hope that helps a little.

Most DC pick up hobbies and passtimes and then drop them after a while. I remember my 6yo Ds who wanted to do karate and then as soon as I'd bought him the karate suit, he lost interest and dropped it. Nothing unusual there. He was fairly shy as well, but it never hampered him as he got older.

I was a shy, quiet child. Being made to think it isn't ok to be like this isn't great for your self esteem. School need to accept this is who she is and just leave it and don't force the issue. You can't do anything, it is who she is outside of where she feels safe. Which there is nothing wrong with at all.

All kids take up and drop activities. I wouldn't worry.

I know how you feel - it drives me mad when teachers say this to me at every parents evening. I do tell her she needs to try and speak up in class but I can't force her! Anyway she is 14 now and finally has found the confidence to start putting her hand up in class. It just happened naturally (with a little cajoling from me and her teachers).