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Parenting

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Am I right to ignore grammar schools?

4 replies

autismdisabilitymum · 02/10/2018 11:19

Hello, I'm a newbie so excuse my lack of Mumsnet terms!
I'm in a quandary about grammar schools and my daughter. She is year 5 and I always believed she would go to our towns big comp. it's next door to the school my disabled sons go to and she's happy about going there. But....
ALL of her friends are going for the grammar school exams, our town is quite posh (we're not) so I'm not surprised but I didn't expect all of them. My daughter has dyscalculia (maths dyslexia) and I can't see her getting through the exams or even coping with the practise. She's not particularly academic, she loves drama and English. Some of the other mums are beginning to question why I'm not even considering it and I'm wondering if I'm wrong. My daughter just wants to be with her friends and that is her driving force.
Am I being too 'I went to a big comp and I'm ok' , can a non academic child get into & thrive in a grammar school?
Thanks ladies xxx

OP posts:
BlackInk · 03/10/2018 09:38

Following with interest OP.

My DS has just gone into year 5 too and has come home talking about grammar schools this week. I've always just thought he would go to the local secondary (also next door to a SEN school!) as I don't really like the idea of children being separated by academic ability or even wealth.

He's pretty bright, but quite quirky and socially awkward.

Apparently, the 11+ exams (needed to get into grammar schools) take place next summer, and to have much chance of passing even academic kids need private tutoring starting from about now.

I'm not keen TBH but school have already got my DS thinking that clever kids go to grammar school...

LondonJax · 04/10/2018 19:05

I think you need to do what's right for your own children, not listen to others. Having said that it's worth checking if the local comp has a grammar stream.

We're in an 11 plus county and DS sat it - his teachers said he was definitely good enough and he was in top 10% of his class in spelling, Maths and English in year 4 and 5 tests. He had a reading age of 12 when he was 6 years old. Not typing that as a boast, just a link into the next bit.

He passed his 11 plus with flying colours. But, in between we'd been to see the grammar school, which he loved. Then we went to see the local comp and he completely changed his mind. The options on offer are huge because they have to cater for the academically bright, the sporty, the less academically bright, the more vocational kids so everyone has an opportunity to thrive.

He had to sit a mini entrance exam which 'streamed' the kids. He's in the grammar stream (not surprise really). Many of his friends who were 11 plus passers have gone to the grammar schools but a few have gone with him to the comprehensive. They all love their schools, all seem to be doing well and that's the main thing.

I went to a streamed comprehensive - the fact that kids can move up a level is great. My best friend did exactly that, from middle band to grammar band. Kids mature at different ages and an average academic kid at 10 can be a real achiever at 13. I'm already seeing the difference in DS from primary to secondary school.

Worth checking with the school if they do stream the kids then it'd probably be the best of both worlds if the 11 plus just seems a bit too much. Don't forget too that some of the 11 plus kids won't be offered a place. It's not just the passing of the exam but the points they get. Grammar schools only have a fixed number of spaces so if 500 kids pass and there are only 300 spaces the lowest 200 may not get in. So some friends will be in the comprehensive as a second choice anyway.

Hashbrownsandbeans · 04/10/2018 20:59

I would say it depends whether it would stress her out too much to at least take the exam. If you deny her the opportunity to even try she may resent that later.

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pacempercutiens · 04/10/2018 22:25

I went to a grammar school - one of my friends didn't get in but appealed and got let in. She did not enjoy being bottom of the class at an academic school.

It's a good environment for the right children, but for my DD I would want her being average/advanced at different school rather than bottom at a more academic school.

I wouldn't factor friends too much as (at least in my area) you tend to only know a few people in your class because the year group sizes jump up, and they try to mix everyone - so most of the class is in the "having to make new friends" boat anyway. Going to the same school is also no guarantee of being in the same class.

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