When did you start feeling like a Mum ?

[Myusername101z]

DD is nearly 11 months and I absolutely love her and don’t think I am doing anything particularly wrong but when I am around other mums I feel like they are real mums and I don’t really belong. I am socialble in that I have many friends but I find it hard being around strangers so Mum and baby groups have been hell for me ! I don’t live in a very good area so to go to the decent baby classes I have to travel to the posher areas and I feel like such an outcast I will continue to go as DD loves it but I feel like all the “proper” mums have loads in common and I don’t belong , anyone else ever felt like this when around other mums or at baby groups in general ?

Yes! I feel slightly surprised when I remember DS (8mo) came out of me. I hate baby classes with a passion, but go for his benefit and socialisation. I find it boring talking about babies, but find myself doing it anyway. Urgh. No advice, but solidarity.

I felt like a mum as soon as we were able to take our lo home from hospital. He had to stay in NICU for 12 days, so when we were finally able to take him home, as soon as we were out the main door of the hospital, that's when I felt like I was his mum.

I know many have it a lot harder and some are in hospital for a lot longer, and I don't want it to seem like I'm complaining, but it was still a very difficult time for us.

I never ever bothered with baby groups, they're not my thing at all. It never made me feel like I wasn't a proper mum at all.

I avoid baby groups for this reason tbh. I find other mums here have their shit together & sometimes i still feel like a teenager who has been handed this ticking time bomb 🙈

I don't think I did really until my eldest started at school! I only do now because I went part time so my life is more dominated by mumming. I don't think it's compulsory to feel like a mum anyway. Most parenting related small talk is really dull!

I understand. We live in a deprived area but, as is often the case, we are very close to extremely affluent areas. I'm fortunate that I can afford to pay for some baby/toddler classes but it means going to the affluent areas. Most mums are lovely (albeit mostly just stilted small talk) but there's a few that once they knew where I lived avoided me 🙄. My dd is now 3, i still find it strange to refer to her as my daughter, it sounds ever so grown up which I'm not 😂

My dd is 8 weeks and I don't feel like a mum yet, I know it's quite normal but it does make me feel like a bit of a fraud!
I've not been going to many mum and baby things but I've been mostly enjoying them. I use them kind of like how I use this site: as a way to talk about how things are going, get/give advice but also so not to be cooped up at home alone and to talk about things other than baby!

I felt like a mum when DD started to recognize me and give me a big smile when I came to get her from nursery. We don't go to mum and baby groups at all, so I guess I'm not That Sort Of Mum. Never mind.

I always thought, "I must look like a total dick" when I first started going to baby groups. Mine was always the one who cried and fussed the whole time, and I'd be digging through the nappy bag trying to find things to placate her and making a mess all over the floor in the process. Second time around, I just leave if it's too much bother I find it very odd that I could reasonably be described as "a mother of two"!

Took me about 6 months with ny first. My second is 3 months and even now I feel odd saying I'm a mum of 2 children. I will try harder this time to go to baby groups although I felt completely out of place. Hoping no one notices and we're all just playing along!